Hey all, my name is Jonathan and I'm on here because of my girlfriend's PTSD struggles. I need help on how to move forward with her.
Some back history,
I met my girlfriend six months ago. She had just gotten out of a mental institution a few weeks earlier for attempted suicide (she went through some sort of sexual abuse). Initially I was not interested in her because I have a mother with bi-polar disorder and so I didn't know what I was up for. She was also five years younger than me (18 - 23) But, after about a month suddenly I heard God telling me, "Date this girl. Invest in her. Don't worry about the circumstances.".
We've been dating for five months (November - April) and everything has been incredible. We both told each other we loved each other and everything in her life started improving. She became close to her parents and family and suddenly happy. She had some weird quirks, she'd get SO mad about the smallest stuff, she'd do compulsive things out of anxiety, and she had this weird sleep problem where she'd scratch herself and shake in her sleep sometimes giving herself bad cuts. But things were great. We would talk all the time about how we knew God meant us for each other and she would constantly say I made her a better person.
Cut to last Thursday.
Suddenly she's breaking up with me. Gives me this whole deal about how she needs space and she's confused. Says she doesn't love me and has been lying the whole time. It makes no sense and I know that's not true but I let her go. She contacted me every day. Real mixed signals. Sometimes starting fights, sometimes being sweet. Sunday she says she needs to see me. We kiss a lot, things are good. She sends me a message that night on Facebook apologizing saying she loves me and always will and asking me to be patient with her because she is just taking her self-hatred on me. Said she's having a difficult time coping with what happened to her.
She came over Monday night (don't get the wrong idea, we don't have sex). Things were GREAT until she had a bad dream and then the next day texts me saying she needs time away from me because all I do is frustrate her and that when she was talking Sunday she just was saying things she didn't mean.
Where I'm at now.
I started to look up her sleeping problem (scratching/shaking) and noticed it was a PTSD problem. Suddenly things made sense. I never knew PTSD was as bad as it is. I typed in "girlfriend with PTSD" and EVERYONE is dealing with this SAME problem. So, I wrote her a note letting her know I understand everything now and I'm at peace about things and just want to be her friend when she's ready and that I'd continue giving space. She responded by a spurt of anger.
I know this is long winded so I'll get to my question finally.
What can I do to help her? How can I be there? Should I give up? I know I shouldn't give up because I know that I know that I love her. I know she loves me. And I know God wants me to take this on. But it's so discouraging. What can I do?
Some back history,
I met my girlfriend six months ago. She had just gotten out of a mental institution a few weeks earlier for attempted suicide (she went through some sort of sexual abuse). Initially I was not interested in her because I have a mother with bi-polar disorder and so I didn't know what I was up for. She was also five years younger than me (18 - 23) But, after about a month suddenly I heard God telling me, "Date this girl. Invest in her. Don't worry about the circumstances.".
We've been dating for five months (November - April) and everything has been incredible. We both told each other we loved each other and everything in her life started improving. She became close to her parents and family and suddenly happy. She had some weird quirks, she'd get SO mad about the smallest stuff, she'd do compulsive things out of anxiety, and she had this weird sleep problem where she'd scratch herself and shake in her sleep sometimes giving herself bad cuts. But things were great. We would talk all the time about how we knew God meant us for each other and she would constantly say I made her a better person.
Cut to last Thursday.
Suddenly she's breaking up with me. Gives me this whole deal about how she needs space and she's confused. Says she doesn't love me and has been lying the whole time. It makes no sense and I know that's not true but I let her go. She contacted me every day. Real mixed signals. Sometimes starting fights, sometimes being sweet. Sunday she says she needs to see me. We kiss a lot, things are good. She sends me a message that night on Facebook apologizing saying she loves me and always will and asking me to be patient with her because she is just taking her self-hatred on me. Said she's having a difficult time coping with what happened to her.
She came over Monday night (don't get the wrong idea, we don't have sex). Things were GREAT until she had a bad dream and then the next day texts me saying she needs time away from me because all I do is frustrate her and that when she was talking Sunday she just was saying things she didn't mean.
Where I'm at now.
I started to look up her sleeping problem (scratching/shaking) and noticed it was a PTSD problem. Suddenly things made sense. I never knew PTSD was as bad as it is. I typed in "girlfriend with PTSD" and EVERYONE is dealing with this SAME problem. So, I wrote her a note letting her know I understand everything now and I'm at peace about things and just want to be her friend when she's ready and that I'd continue giving space. She responded by a spurt of anger.
I know this is long winded so I'll get to my question finally.
What can I do to help her? How can I be there? Should I give up? I know I shouldn't give up because I know that I know that I love her. I know she loves me. And I know God wants me to take this on. But it's so discouraging. What can I do?
