Relationship Boyfriend With Ptsd Wants A Break

[Dizzle]

@Dizzle you got this girl! I do think some books might help if you are a...

Thanks so much!! Today, I really do feel that I got this. I also have been doing A LOT of reflecting on if I can handle this for life. It's safe to say, I have decided to accept this in order to keep my soldier happy and secure. He makes me a better person, and I could not imagine him not being in my life.

Posting here is probably going to be my main course of action, as I am the type of person who LOVES to bounce ideas and logic off other people's heads. Although I'm not opposed to books either. I am a research fiend as well. I Wish Google was around back in my school days. Lol

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I Wish Google was around back in my school days. Lol

OMG me too! I fix internet & PCs for a living and I endlessly hear they need it now because their kids cant do homework...what? What happened to hand outs and penmanship?

Although I'm not opposed to books either.

This one, I hear, is considered the 'supporter's bible'

Dead Link Removed

It looks just like my sourebook minus "relationships" and way cheaper.

 

[Dizzle]

OMG me too! I fix internet & PCs for a living and I endlessly hear they need it now because...

I have heard a lot about this book in the last couple days. I definitely plan on purchasing it next pay day.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have a few others bookmarked but I heard from other thread that it was the best.

I guess it depends on your relationship but hell, any supporter caring enough like that about me, to educate, research, gain support...would have my heart! :shy: Like for me? Really?

 

[Dizzle]

I have a few others bookmarked but I heard from other thread that it was the best.

I guess i...

He says something similar to me every day... Well. Before this incident of course. "You're so good to me. I have never felt so loved." Yet another thing I'm holding onto to make me feel he will return.

The last time we broke up, he considered dating his singer (there is a lot to this story, and absolutely NOTHING to be concerned about now. Just FYI). This was discussed during the break up, and I had my own crap to figure out before we both could even think about exploring a full blown relationship. I always appreciated the fact that he respected me enough to not cheat, and the whole ordeal was handled in a very amicable adult manner. He told me when we got back together that he regretted it instantly. Said the entire time, all he could think was "She (being me) would have never done this to me." Whenever he brings this up (I don't, for obvious reasons), he always looks so remorseful. I know he truly feels that was a horrible mistake. I always remind him that no matter how much it stung at the time, it had to happen for us to have a happy life together.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

it had to happen for us to have a happy life together.

Yeah, sometimes either bad or hard or both stuff has to happen for the good stuff to come.

Yet another thing I'm holding onto to make me feel he will return.

I think he will too. I mean though not one of the typical "break ups", you did advise him that you didnt mean to freak and giving him the space he needs but are there when ready there you are saying, in my opinion, that you arent done with the relationship; and the "i love you" says that as well. I think he will come back too. But some some self care, education, etc would be something great to do until he comes back.

I do think a "safe word" of sorts or a "special phrase" is needed for it to be healthier for you both! Its what I meant by boundry. Obviously in better timing. Im in love with "penguin week" but if it has to be longer than a week or if he has to text you when he is ready to come back maybe "penguin vacation" (so "penguin week" then you know its a week and "penguin vacation" you know its longer) but id say also the if its until he lets you know and its like a long time, he has to let you know he's ok, or still alive as all you will do is worry like you are now.

During his time away, I think self care is important and then make any changes that may be necessary but self care is so very important. You can be so concentrated on him that you forget about you; you know?

 

[Dizzle]

Yeah, sometimes either bad or hard or both stuff has to happen for the good stuff to come....

I was thinking someonthing along those lines as well. That way, there isn't a case of the unknown, and my anxiety doesn't get triggered. I also think he will be very impressed, and possibly feel safer, once he knows how much research I've done and that I'm fully committed to having a plan of action so these difficult times aren't as bad as this one. From what I've been finding though, the first one is always the hardest.

Thank you so much for helping me find hope and positivity. I may not know you at all, but you have helped me in so many ways. :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Thank you so much for helping me find hope and positivity. I may not know you at all, but you have helped me in so many ways.

Aww, you are very welcome! :hug: I may not know you either but I know you are awesome and he will be amazed of how committed you are to make this work for the best of you both and I know your relationship will become stronger and stronger! I believe in this relationship! :)

 

[Dizzle]

Aww, you are very welcome! :hug: I may not know you either but I know you are awesome and he...

I definitely believe in it too. :hug:

 

[Dizzle]

***UPDATE***

I was feeling very angry this morning. It has been 6 days with no sign of my presence being acknowledged. I went on Facebook, saw his nickname still set as "My Love," and removed it. Much to my surprise, it sent him a notification. We fought for a good hour. Turns out, I inadvertently triggered him by posting something on Facebook last week that someone thought was about him. I feel a little bad, because that was not intended, but hey. Now I know. It was intense, but it finally ended with him saying that he loved me.

P.S. I DON'T HAVE TO CANCEL MY FLIGHT!!!! I GET TO SEE HIM WEDNESDAY!!!!! :D:laugh::inlove:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

P.S. I DON'T HAVE TO CANCEL MY FLIGHT!!!! I GET TO SEE HIM WEDNESDAY!!!!!

YAY! Im sorry you fought but this is good and he said he loved you which means hes not giving up but when you see him and its good timing, rememember "penguin week".

 

[Dizzle]

YAY! Im sorry you fought but this is good and he said he loved you which means hes not givin...

Right!?! I actually did have to throw out the fact that I forgave him for leaving me for someone else four months ago; something that really triggered my anxiety. He seemed to come around a lot easier after that. I am just so relieved, and honestly- SOOO glad I "pulled" him out of isolation. With how mad he was, that probably could have been it if I left him alone.