Relationship Boyfriend With Ptsd Wants A Break

[Olivia2016]

@lostforgottensoul

Nobody is saying that setting boundaries is wrong. They're s...

No, it's not a good idea. Everyone , who tried to do this (as I did before I understood), would find that timing is very important, and during the isolation trying to establish boundaries or having serious discussions just pushes the sufferer away more. In fact, I am pretty sure in my case nothing works. There is only one solution: to stop bugging and just silently show my support. I only know my own situation in detail, but it seems to me that this is somewhat general rule, according to the sufferers themselves: they get overwhelmed and triggered more if demands are expressed during the isolation episodes.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

SOOO glad I "pulled" him out of isolation.

ME TOO!!! When I go into deep isolation, its super deep and I cant seem to get myself out of it and it keeps going deeper and deeper so Im so glad to hear he is starting to come out of isolation! Yay you! :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Olivia2016 i am sorry that you are having a hard time with your sufferer. There isnt a general rule for sufferers or supporters for much. I do, or have, generalized a bit when I speak about sufferers as i feel there are things that we share however, in this situation, timing is likely everything and I have acknowledged that in many of my posts and even quoted a bunch of them, which Im not doing again.

@Dizzle came up with a word for "I need some space" called "penguin week" and I believe that a "save word" of sorts is the best idea for both sides as she seems to be a bit triggered at times on abandonment issues and this way she knows he is just taking some space and not breaking up as as ive said before "breaking, come back, break up, come back" cycle isnt healthy for either side. Therefore if this "penguin week" works, its the best for both.

And im rooting for "penguin week"! Its adorable and it sounds like it will work for both sides! I know your relationship with become stronger every day @Dizzle!

 

[Dizzle]

@Olivia2016 i am sorry that you are having a hard time with your sufferer....

Thank you @lostforgottensoul!!! He still seems a LITTLE distant, but I'm just letting it go for now. I haven't been in a relationship with someone who was actually willing to move forward from a fight (most of my exes bailed after the first fight), but I am assuming that is normal.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

but I am assuming that is normal.

Id say, for me anyway, its normal. After i fight with someone, I stew for a bit and am a bit distant but after a little while (could be same day or a few days depending on how bad the fight was, with whom, and over what...and what happened in the fight) until my emotions had a chance to cool and settle a bit and then i could move foward. So giving him a bit of space now is ok. When is your flight to see him?

 

[Dizzle]

Id say, for me anyway, its normal. After i fight with someone, I stew for a bit and am a bit...

I fly out Wednesday. Land at about 6 PM his time. So in a couple days. I just went six days with radio silence, so I think I can handle 2 days of him calming down but not being that mad anymore lol