Bracing Myself For Him To Not Show

[Glara]

I'm supposed to arrive this Thurs, he's been sending me countdowns everyday. But today is a little different. He texted a countdown this morning, texted all morning, then suddenly stopped. If I don't answer quick enough, or enthusiastically enough, he asks if I'm ok, and he seems worried. And now he stopped texting.

I'm not really looking for answers, I just have no one to talk to. No one understands this. I'm just expressing my feelings. I feel sad, I'm drinking wine, and I'm making back up plans. I just keep reading everyone's posts to keep myself from breaking down. I know what the end result may be and I'm just looking for coping skills. And I also know if he does stand me up he's going to think I hate him. I won't hate him, I will be hurt but I wont hate him.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I think that texting may be causing more issues in your relationship because it is a method of communication where so much is left up to interpretation. You can interpret the tone any way you want, you can misinterpret a lengthier span in response time, etc. I am trying to keep my texting to a minimum, or to very light topics, and even that sometimes backfires.

Can you call him to possibly help put your worries to rest? I know this isn't' an easy time for you and I wish you the best.

 

[whserenitynluv]

I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I think that texting may be causing more issues in your relationship because it is a method of communication where so much is left up to interpretation.

Solar a this will be part of my post today later, this is a great thing to breakdown because what I have found is that my ptsd a reads into things in great detail, and I have suffered many times because of it. One of the reasons a cell isn't in my life anymore. Because of texting and my reactions to triggers I have harmed relationships. So I set boundaries with that :) thank you for your post:hug:

 

[whserenitynluv]

@Glara

I wrote a lot and erased it, good thing I listened to what you wrote about not wanting answers :)
I'm off and on in here, and feel empathy to the situation and feelings around it, if you would like to talk, I'm available to chat :) your not alone and here is a hug :hug:

 

[Justmehere]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's good you are making back-up plans. Can you make the plans with other friends so that some of your normal need for connection to people is met? Even if they don't quite understand what you are going through. I'm so sorry, it is a common PTSD relationship dynamic and it is hard to get through.

I very much agree with the suggestion of picking up the phone and calling him. So much can be misinterpreted by him and you on text. Maybe he just needs to hear your voice to reassure him you are ok. There also could be so many reasons he stopped texting. I attempt to mind-read A LOT myself. You both probably need to do more direct talking and less trying to read each others minds, ya know?

I hope you keep sharing and reaching out for support to get through this.

 

[Glara]

I understand what you are saying but I honestly don't think it's that I'm this case. I've noticed patterns in his texting and I believe that's what it is in this case. He did finally text again and all week has been sending the countdown to when my plane would land etc etc. He was texting romantic things all week as well but then last night barely texted and cooled down what he did text. Now so far no countdown this morning and I haven't heard anything at all. I'll be on my way tomorrow at this time. Not sure if I should do anything yet or wait for him. At some point I'll have to contact him to see if he's going to show up, but I guess I'll give him a little space for now.