Brand New... To It All

[rtk]

I am in love with a C-PTSD sufferer. His is thanks to an abusive mother. As a mother myself, I can't imagine beating my 3 year old, because he fell off his tricycle and split his chin open. Nice thing to do to a kid before taking him to Emerg. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Beating was a way of life for this woman. As adults, my husband and I both understand that she is dealing with her own mental health issues, but that doesn't erase the past.

Anyway we are both new to all of this. My husband had an informal diagnosis earlier this year by a psych associate that I work with, and is due to see his family physician in a couple weeks for a referral to some professional help.

Anybody have any suggestions on how to stop the train from de-railing in the mean time? He gets lost in his own head sometimes, and I don't know how to draw him back to the land of the living. When I'm around it's not as bad because we interact and keep his mind occupied on other things, but when he's alone (driving to and from work) and sometimes when it's quiet he just goes back to the bad places....

 

[Linda Lee Bogard - King]

Hi rtk, hope you find the support you need to get through this. Maybe put a special cd together with positive songs he can listen too in the car, and maybe a list of projects for you he can do when he is alone. Dance the blues away in the quiet times, just suggestions to change the thinking...

 

[catjudo]

At that point, and with his permission, I spoke to a psychological associate that I work with. He gave me a few pointers, and helped me put a label on it (C-PTSD) and when I told my husband (and he was able to google it in his own time, in his own comfort level) it was like a whole new world.

It has taken from January until now (on the heels of another meltdown) to agree to go to his family physician for a referral to a psychiatrist/psychologist.

rtk--Welcome to the forum. I am glad that your husband has agreed to seek professional help.

Something you wrote in another thread sounded kind of alarming to me. I've brought it back to your thread so as not to hijack that other person's thread and take it off topic. It sounds as though someone has given your husband a diagnosis without ever seeing him. What's more, CPTSD isn't even an actual recognized diagnosis. I would be extremely apprehensive of such a situation. On the other hand, if this has helped prompt your husband to receive professional help, that is great. But I would keep an open mind and wait to hear what kind of diagnosis and treatment plan is offered by someone who actually meets your husband and follows the DSM criteria.

 

[rtk]

Thanks Catjudo, I appreciate the feed back. This whole business is confusing enough without me leading someone down the wrong road! I've done more reading and I understand what you are saying about it not being a recognized diagnosis. Seems to be a bit of a hot topic. My feeling is that my husband's PTSD is not from a single traumatic event, but years and years of vicious beatings by an mentally ill parent.

His appointment can't come soon enough for us. It hurts me to see him hurting, and I don't understand how someone could treat their child this way. Guess that's why I'm seeking my own help as well!

 

[jenkins123]

I empathised with your post simply because my recently ex partner, a fully grown man, wept like a child when he first told me of his father's beatings over 35 years ago, from the age of 5 onwards, so I too wondered if he had Cptsd. I wish you both the best of luck in managing this journey you are on.