Brene Brown Ted Talks About Vulnerability

[Hashi]

I agree that negative energy has to be processed in itself and can't just be converted into positive energy, or overcome by positive energy. Take grief, for example. You have to go through the sadness, anger, bitterness and feelings of loss in order to come out the other side. You can't go straight to positivity because that positivity would be denying and suppressing your true reactions..

I think there's a distinction, though, between negative energy/feelings and reliving trauma. I would never say, yes EMDR could give you flashbacks, you're processing trauma, you can't avoid that risk, allow yourself to be vulnerable.

I would look at different ways of processing and I would look at how to create safety, safety and more safety. I would choose the best ways of processing, for me, within that. There might be a risk but the risk would be assessed, minimised and managed. It would be a considered risk. If you took that approach, you could decide whether you felt able to handle EMDR or whether you felt a different way of processing would be better.

Even if the vulnerability is about something like building a therapy relationship, I think it's about creating safety within which we can try taking some risk. Not about laying ourselves open to it without any containment.

But this was originally raised in the context of doing EMDR, and that concerns me a lot.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

It seems to me that it is more of a safety issue

Yes! My body goes into overload. I feel like I'm dying. It's a very valid concern. My heart rate goes sky high. I forget how to breathe. It's terrifying.

It is trapped negativity or trapped negative experiences but people who follow positive and negative energy exclusively avoid what is seen as negativity at all cost.

Yes! I will AVOID prompting those feelings.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I think that after awhile the "I'm so happy and positive" facade will wear thin

My happiness is genuine. Just as negative emotions can flood your system and paralyze you. Feeling happy can also flood your system. You can feel your whole body smile. :)

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I went to a trauma center that had a newer type of processing that was designed to prevent the re-living aspect.

My T hinted at this method(s) my last session as well. She also stated EDMR can be done in a way to disallow flashbacks. However,she said I have complex trauma. I'm aware I need to work on grounding skills. So for the moment EDMR is out of the equation.

On therapy days I try to blank out my thoughts. Stay as relaxed as possible. Cleaning is therapy for me. However,the steam from my shark (floor steamer) can sometimes send me into a flashback. I know this. I think I'm prepared. The sound of the steam trumps any grounding method I've mastered. I can't stop them. It's a reflex. Lets just say I've broken several steamers and the one I currently have has a lot of duct tape on it! LOL I try to recover by plugging the damn thing back in an continuing on. My T says I'm fighting the process. I don't understand. How is that fighting the process???

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

My comments were based on her work outside of a purely PTSD context. I think there is a some good stuff to take from it, but can see where other people totally disagree, too.

BB has a lot of insight. I do find much of her work to be generalized. I believe my T used her work as a starting point. Vulnerability is an issue with any trauma survivor.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I don't think you'll ever become trauma free (as you say you will be one day) without processing your trauma,

Solara I believe you have enough spunk to get past your trauma. But yes..I do believe you whine a lot.

Here's my firm belief. We are already trauma free. The trauma we are experiencing has never belonged to us in the first place.

Before I go on..do you remotely understand what I'm trying to share?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

No. I think you're playing with semantics instead of saying "dammit, I have trauma and I'm going to get better no matter what" you play a game of words. It's a defense mechanism, and you're not the only one here who wants to debate the meaning of this or the meaning of that when the bottom line is that in the end, it doesn't really matter as long as we heal.

Put me down as much as you want. It's inconsequential to me. I don't care what you think. The fact remains that you don't want to process if there's even a possibility of a flashback. How does that viewpoint serve you in the end? I'm on the other side of processing and dealing with other post-trauma healing at this point. I'm sorry if you think my view that I will always require more self care is negative. I think it's proactive as I'll be damned if I get blindsided in the future. Way to bash me for trying to PREVENT a relapse. I do believe it serves me better than pretending nothing ever happened. Yes, there are a LOT of people who post saying "what happened? I was told I was cured?" Well, maybe part of what happened is that they didn't keep in mind that they were vulnerable to stress and didn't keep up with the coping skills and self care and so on. Again, I don't want to be one of these people.

I think it's very interesting that two of the people who bash my opinions the most are also those who are resistant to healing, neither of whom have really started the healing process. I feel like I'm debating what it feels like to fly with those who only dream of flying.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

A while ago I saw a post of yours and over time several more, they were blindly positive like either you were sticking your head in the ground and ignoring a whole lot or you were possibly deluded because everything just reinforced your notions of positivity. Refreshing approach although I personally found them distressing and that despite all their boundless happiness, massive warning signs/bells. This positivity you have is energetic and amazing, but it's so strong and all-encompassing, that it's like you're setting yourself up for failure - everyone has ups and downs and sometimes those downs need to processed to move on. Also it seems like you might overlook some things and end up putting yourself in some risk because of your happy go lucky attitude - luck is never 100%.

My genuine happiness stems from how I view abuse and PTS. And simply stated. It doesn't belong to me. The abuse I endured wasn't about me. I was simply a handy target. Cowards go after the youngest. Cowards abuse. Everything in this world is adaptive...including our brain. It is what it is. Evil people are sick. Overcoming depraved individuals who refuse to adapt is challenging. It also can be done. This forum is excellent proof.

Evil people have diseased minds. That's their problem. They attempt to infect you with their disease. It invades you in the form of PTS. It's like a virus...flashbacks are like cancer..you fight it. I have a natural immunity. It's called I'm going to be happy despite their malevolent hearts. That alone makes me a very happy person!

Nobody complains for years about a co worker giving them the flu. You get a flu shot.

So what. I have flashbacks and body memories. I brush that rubbish off and continue living the happy life me you each and everyone one of us are meant to live.

It's ALL about attitude!

 

[bell]

I have flashbacks and body memories. I brush that rubbish off and continue living the happy life me you each and everyone one of us are meant to live.

Yes, but almost always the only way out is through. "Brushing it off" generally equals one thing = giant mega meltdown later. Working through it at your own pace is the only way to get it out of your life... if you ignore it, it will just chase you down with a vengeance, usually when you least expect it. (I'm afraid that with mental health, this is generally a given. Our minds want the best for us and aren't so hot on keeping quiet when they want to be set free...) Anything else is just ignoring the obvious, watering yourself down, and pretending to look at your real self in the mirror.

Getting to happy = going through the pain and seeing the happiness that still exists afterwards. Ignoring just fuels ignorance of your own potential happiness.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

when they want to be set free

Ignorance is believing you aren't already free.

 

[Hashi]

So what. I have flashbacks and body memories. I brush that rubbish off and continue living the happy life me you each and everyone one of us are meant to live. It's ALL about attitude!

What is your therapy for?

 

[bell]

True, S2T, very true. But walking through that pain will set you freer than you ever thought imaginable because it's no longer there to haunt you. Walking through it means that you're stronger than it and can eat it for breakfast. It means it no longer controls you. Perhaps to you, it's worth not walking through it. It's your journey and you should choose the best path for you. Just warning that not facing it head on is continuing to have it there... lurking, waiting, hoping for a spare weak moment to rise up.