Just as I'm trying to figure out how to handle some of the anxiety this condition causes, I recently found out that my only little brother is now a registered sex offender.
He told my parents that he had gotten drunk back in 1994 and was babysitting two 8 year old girls and molested them. My brother is a very mentally ill individual. This we've known since he was little. He lives in a fantasy world created by his own imagination and is a compulsive liar. Over the years, we have taken everything he has ever told us with a grain of salt. While visiting my parents, my Mom told me he had relayed that information to her. He said he was in a half-way house. He has been in prison since he was 17, off and on, more on than off.
He started with Grand Theft Auto and continued that line until about ten years ago. Then we started to hear from him that he had been arrested for deliquency of a minor. I knew his sexual abuse history from my half-uncle when he was just a toddler. I started to feel as if he were continuing a chain of abuse that he was taught. I kinda understood were he might have gotten part of his illness. I overlooked what I heard, knowing that everyone has to find their own help in their own time. I didn't think much about it considering that he always told lies.
When my Mom and I started speaking again (about 1 year ago) I would occasionally ask about my brother, whom I haven't seen since I was in my early 20's. (That's about 28 years ago.) I don't know him as a man, and only remember the most sensitive, loving little guy when he was a kid. She would tell me that he had said a lot of nonsence about how good he was doing and talk about jobs he had. She knew that almost 99 percent would be a lie. She accepted that, where my father, he knew better. He knew it was all bullshit and started to isolate from him.
My mom kept her contact with my brother at once a month, on the phone, collect. She's not very healthy mentally, with her own symptoms, and slipped into denial with him really quick. That was her little boy, the one that was innocent and pre-teen in age. This is the boy that she verbally, physically, and mentally abused while we were growing up. The one, she said, would never amount to anything. The one she ranted and raved at as being a total waste of life. The one she beat and raged at when he told a lie. The one that she was so disappointed in as a man. Now she was totally the opposite and was trying to be his protector by listening to his stories and all the while, she was keeping him a child in her memory.
I have just reached a point in my life where I can spend small amounts of time with her and not have huge consequences with my mental stability. I go in trying to remember that she is sick and that I have to protect myself from triggers when I'm around her. I finally got there when my Dad had to have open heart surgery. My Mom has many physical problems, and she asked if I would come and help Dad with his healing. I agreed and stayed 2 months in their house.
I am so obsessive in my mind right now with my brothers admintance. When I came home from the visit, I looked up on the Internet and found his face and name listed under sex offenders. He lied and told my Mom that he is in a half way house. Actually he is in a State Mental Instution attending a SPTP program. That's Sexual Preditor Treatment Program. I read their handbook on line and he is involved in some very serious, heavy duty treatment program. Kinda like, 3 strikes, your out and in prison for life.
I can't get his photo out of my mind and I am very anxious and hurt. Could what happened to me (my abuse) contributed in any way to his mental health now? Could I have done something to him while he was young that told him it was OK to molest little kids? If so, I don't remember and don't know how to recall those memories if they do exist. He had said that it was my fault that he turned out the way he did, because I didn't protect him from my mother. I ran and joined the military leaving him alone with her. I'm really confused as how to handle this whole nightmare.
What in the hell am I supposed to do now that I've discovered that my only brother molests little girls, like I was molested when I was about their age. Oh, God, please help me handle this emotion, this disgust and rage at a brother that I don't know now that he is a 45 year old man... I feel such shame and sadness...I can't process this evil...
He told my parents that he had gotten drunk back in 1994 and was babysitting two 8 year old girls and molested them. My brother is a very mentally ill individual. This we've known since he was little. He lives in a fantasy world created by his own imagination and is a compulsive liar. Over the years, we have taken everything he has ever told us with a grain of salt. While visiting my parents, my Mom told me he had relayed that information to her. He said he was in a half-way house. He has been in prison since he was 17, off and on, more on than off.
He started with Grand Theft Auto and continued that line until about ten years ago. Then we started to hear from him that he had been arrested for deliquency of a minor. I knew his sexual abuse history from my half-uncle when he was just a toddler. I started to feel as if he were continuing a chain of abuse that he was taught. I kinda understood were he might have gotten part of his illness. I overlooked what I heard, knowing that everyone has to find their own help in their own time. I didn't think much about it considering that he always told lies.
When my Mom and I started speaking again (about 1 year ago) I would occasionally ask about my brother, whom I haven't seen since I was in my early 20's. (That's about 28 years ago.) I don't know him as a man, and only remember the most sensitive, loving little guy when he was a kid. She would tell me that he had said a lot of nonsence about how good he was doing and talk about jobs he had. She knew that almost 99 percent would be a lie. She accepted that, where my father, he knew better. He knew it was all bullshit and started to isolate from him.
My mom kept her contact with my brother at once a month, on the phone, collect. She's not very healthy mentally, with her own symptoms, and slipped into denial with him really quick. That was her little boy, the one that was innocent and pre-teen in age. This is the boy that she verbally, physically, and mentally abused while we were growing up. The one, she said, would never amount to anything. The one she ranted and raved at as being a total waste of life. The one she beat and raged at when he told a lie. The one that she was so disappointed in as a man. Now she was totally the opposite and was trying to be his protector by listening to his stories and all the while, she was keeping him a child in her memory.
I have just reached a point in my life where I can spend small amounts of time with her and not have huge consequences with my mental stability. I go in trying to remember that she is sick and that I have to protect myself from triggers when I'm around her. I finally got there when my Dad had to have open heart surgery. My Mom has many physical problems, and she asked if I would come and help Dad with his healing. I agreed and stayed 2 months in their house.
I am so obsessive in my mind right now with my brothers admintance. When I came home from the visit, I looked up on the Internet and found his face and name listed under sex offenders. He lied and told my Mom that he is in a half way house. Actually he is in a State Mental Instution attending a SPTP program. That's Sexual Preditor Treatment Program. I read their handbook on line and he is involved in some very serious, heavy duty treatment program. Kinda like, 3 strikes, your out and in prison for life.
I can't get his photo out of my mind and I am very anxious and hurt. Could what happened to me (my abuse) contributed in any way to his mental health now? Could I have done something to him while he was young that told him it was OK to molest little kids? If so, I don't remember and don't know how to recall those memories if they do exist. He had said that it was my fault that he turned out the way he did, because I didn't protect him from my mother. I ran and joined the military leaving him alone with her. I'm really confused as how to handle this whole nightmare.
What in the hell am I supposed to do now that I've discovered that my only brother molests little girls, like I was molested when I was about their age. Oh, God, please help me handle this emotion, this disgust and rage at a brother that I don't know now that he is a 45 year old man... I feel such shame and sadness...I can't process this evil...
