C-ptsd Low Self-esteem, Preoccupation With Rejection

[C-PTSD]

Hi everyone! I often feel a deep sense of shame or like I'm vulnerable to rejection and i'm waiting to be criticised or rejected, this leads me to be slightly inhibited with people: often my automatic thought is "that person hates me", which drives me crazy because i KNOW people don't, it's only that I FEEL that way... it drives me crazy, the low self-esteem is quite intense a lot of the time, but i know at heart I'm a good person and that people like me, but why don't I feel it? I have good days and up days, where I feel better but my low self-esteem feels quite pervasive. I don't avoid making friends or socialising or whatever, but i definitely avoid intimacy and getting too close unless i'm in the right mood or feeling confident that day.

This low self-esteem and preoccupation with not feeling good enough and expecting rejection is really debilitating.

Recently I accidentally read about Avoidant Personality Disorder:


According to the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), a person diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder needs to show at least four of the following criteria:
Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.
Is unwilling to get involved with people unless they are certain of being liked.
Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed.
Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.
Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.
Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others.
Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing.


Does anyone else relate to this? I don;t think I necessarily tick every box or that I'm extreme, but i;m definitely sensitive to rejection or teasing (thanks to abuse) and feel like people won't like me or take things to mean people don't like me even though i know its irrational, and I try to avoid too much intimacy unless i know that someone can be trusted and that person isn't triggering me. Is this common CPTSD stuff?

Thanks guys

 

[joeylittle]

You may find this thread useful: Ptsd / Avoidant Personality Disorder Connection

 

[EveHarrington]

I learned for me it's extreme hyper vigilance.

Dealing with it today & hiding from the world.

(But my symptoms are higher on the severity scale in this realm based on what you've disclosed.)

 

[Friday]

I don't have the DSM in front of me, at the moment, but in ever disorder I've every read there is a criterion of exclusion. Which usually includes some version of the following phrase

"Unless better explained by another disorder."

Which, right there, excludes me from APD. Aaaaaand many other disorders. Because the shared symptoms between them & PTSD are better explained by PTSD & trauma.

 

[Oceanya]

Hi everyone! I often feel a deep sense of shame or like I'm vulnerable to rejection and i'm waiting to be criticised or...

Awesome..now besides everything else..I also have that disorder lol. I've got PTSD, slight OCD, BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) AND Avoidant Personality Disorder now too. I concetrate ALL of those characteristics sadly.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't have the DSM in front of me, at the moment, but in ever disorder I've every read there is a criterion of exclusion. Which usually includes some version of the following phrase

"Unless better explained by another disorder."

This cannot be quoted enough. Many disorders exclude others, and I think it's counter-productive to explain a symptom set with an entire disorder. Symptom sets overlap. The reason we pay professionals to do this (ostensibly) is that they spent years in school understanding how to group symptoms and order them, so that the primary diagnosis is, indeed, primary.

Anyone who can read can self-diagnose. But too often, people don't read the fine print.