C-ptsd, Never Had Dissociation?

[PandaBear12212]

Hello everyone. I was diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. During therapy or at the doctors, they always say things like, "So you've probably experienced dissociation, right?". But I honestly have never experienced dissociation, ever. Everyone keeps talking to me about it and I can not relate as I've never experienced it. Am I the only one who has never had problems with dissociation?

 

[PandaBear12212]

Could anyone give me their examples of dissociation? I mean I do have flashbacks and severe memory problems lately but I'm not sure if that is dissociation or not.

 

[DharmaGirl]

For me it is like blank staring, or daydreaming the day away. Everyone dissociates. You know how you drive somewhere and can't remember the actual driving? That is dissociation.

 

[Echo]

For me it is also about feeling numb. Turns out I've felt numb my whole life, but now that the PTSD is raging, I swing between feeling really horribly anxious and scared and then having a day when I can't really remember what I did all day. I can't work then or organise food, but I can still feel the anxiety underneath it; it is just more leaden and perhaps closer to depression or blankness.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Flashbacks are by definition dissociation because a flashback makes you feel like you're in the past and dissociation is not feeling fully grounded in the present.

The unofficial CPTSD diagnosis is really PTSD plus either significant dissociative features and/or a personality disorder.

 

[Justmehere]

It is possible to have CPTSD without dissociation problems. Memory problems are a big sign of dissociation. It is possible something else could be going on, like a brain injury or medication issue... but when someone has CPTSD diagnosis and memory problems, that's usually dissociation.

There are also forms of dissociation called derealization and depersonalization. I have both of those forms of dissociation. Derealization is where the world feels surreal. Depersonalization is where my own body feels numb or disconnected or unreal. I was told that mild forms of this can be found if you try to do what is called a "body scan" - this is where you scan your body from head to toe, as slow as you can, and see if there is any body area you can't feel very well.

I have memory problems at times too. I disconnect from the memory of what I did yesterday, or what the trauma did to me.

There are times I feel spacey, which is mild dissociation everyone does. Other times, I can be in a pretty thick "fog" - it's like being super spacey.

Those are a few ways I experience dissociation.

 

[anthony]

Maybe you should ask your therapist why exactly they diagnosed you with CPTSD, when there is no such official disorder, especially within the US which use the DSM V. There are literally zero diagnostic criterion for CPTSD approved by either the American Psychiatric Association OR World Health Organisation, the only two who publish mental health diagnostic doctrine. That may help your insight from your therapist, to begin with.

 

[NovemberStar]

For me, my biggest symptom of dissociation is feeling very very 'spacey'. Like I'm in a dream; where everything is 'fuzzy' and there are different elves of it, as well as different emotions underneath it. Sometimes I'm in touch with the fear / severe anxiety behind it. Other times I feel nothing - not even empty - but a true feeling of no emotion at all.

ps) I have not been diagnosed as CPTSD (Anthony says, its not officially recognized - by many); but I use that term to describe my experience because everything I have read about it, it so COMPLETELY and EXACTLY explains my experience of PTSD. My T (clinical psychologist) understands why I refer to my experience of PTSD as CPTSD and has never (nor would ever) contradict my feelings on it. At the end of the day, while diagnostic labels might help a T / Dr treat a client with a mental health condition, they also serve a purpose in helping the individual relate to, and understand their experience of that condition. Maybe it's that way for you too. I used to find it very invalidating when I was told 'well that is no such thing!' but I have come to realize what others think isn't as important as my having found a term that succinctly explains my experience for me - and that a bunch of psychiatrists on the other side of the world don't 'recognize' it, really doesn't change much for me.

 

[marylouise]

It took me awhile to understand dissociation in myself. I had what is now known as C-PTSD too, though that diagnosis wasn't available when I first sought help. I quite literally didn't experience my feelings in my body. I didn't know how anger or sadness "felt". As I got in touch with my body over time, I began to realize that sometimes I couldn't feel anything. That's how I experience dissociation. I literally lose my body, piece by piece, and it takes effort to feel my body again and process my emotions. It took time and patience to realize this though, and begin to work with it. It's a huge thing, and a big part of healing.

 

[lukesa]

No, but I used to be completely oblivious to the fact that I was doing anything out of the ordinary..

 

[ResaLock]

Responding to the original post thread. It is true there is no code for C-PTSD in the DSM-V. There are some Psychiatrists who have given the diagnosis. As I have seen interviews with Psychiatrists of the Psychiatric Association with their clients. You can look them up on line and easily find them. On that note the diagnosis is usually given to those who have had repeated and multiple severe traumas of on going for yeas. With a result of repeated terrifying responses afterwards(and in some cases during)
It does not denote that PTSD is severely terrible and can be quite frightening and horrifying. It is still a serious and a severe thing.

Disassociation is given from mild to severe, which they call the more severe symptoms psychosis. Dissociation is very much like what the word describes. Its a detachment. Though people do feel a certain detachment, distance or alienation from people for different reasons. It is different from flashbacks, triggers, and the like. As these only last for a monment, even if its like a few hours. Disassociation is an on going that can last up to a month, months or even longer.

An small example would be feeling distant and separated from the self to your environment as though it is not real and unknown to you. The experience will not only have those who were or should be close to you feel estranged, but they become complete strangers to you, not only that. Even them being people or normal beings in your likeness will be strange. (not on the same sense as a relationship just grew apart and distant.)

After going through a severe trauma and suffering acute stress. I was made to go into the grocery store. I felt like I was separated from my surroundings, but it was worse when I went into the grocery store. I went in this grocery store about a few times or more every weak for years. I knew where everything was and even the prices and what the prices were when they went on sale for the daily items I got. I would take my children with me many times and they would go to others isles and get item to put in the cart. We used to enjoy shopping together. When I went in this time after my trauma and without my kids The store was completely strange. I didn't know where to go. Not that I didn't remember where they were. I felt like I walked into a different store. I couldn't pick up anything. I couldn't relate to my environment. Not that is just seemed like a different store only, but a world I didn't know that oppressed against me. Everything seemed so far away and at the same time to close like it was closing in on me. A woman I knew came up to me that knew me. I remember just smiling for her and talking to her, but it felt like an unreal dream very unclear. After that I left the store crying. It was like that for a very long time.

Another point is I lost track of a few years as they went by and things passed by and didn't realize how long went by. Until I started catching up with myself. To me it could of been a couple of months that seemed like 10years going nowhere. Just trying to survive each day as each day seemed like it was crashing down on me. Everyone around me not only became strangers. They just didn't seem real at all. Just a nightmare. Even myself becoming unreal. I have healed a bit from a lot of that since then. That started 10yrs ago. I had no real support or therapy and some I never told some of those things to. Maybe small pieces here or there. That's it.

 

[PandaBear12212]

The fact that the American Psychiatric Association and DSM has not officially listed it yet does NOT phase me at all. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is caused from prolonged exposure to trauma over a period of time. It does NOT mean I have a personality disorder. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has many similar symptoms to some personality disorders but it is not a personality disorder. The conflict of having a discernible difference between the two is what makes DSM so stubborn or whatever. Just because it's not written down in a book doesn't mean its not real. If a crime isn't documented did it not happen? Really I did not ask for views on C-PTSD at all. I asked about dissociation. That's all. So please, I respect your opinion. So respect mine. I really don't need to be feeling invalidated right now.


My therapists and I use C-PTSD because it describes my trauma and symptoms more specifically than PTSD.


Here are just some of the listed diagnostic criteria of complex post traumatic stress disorder: affect regulation, self-destructive behavior, suicidal preoccupation, excessive risk-taking, amnesia, depersonalitization, feelings of guilt and responsibility, a feeling that no one can understand, inability to trust, re-victimization, victimizing others, problems with the digestive system, chronic pain, conversion symptoms, loss of previously sustaining beliefs, despair and hopelessness.


I've seen multiple therapists within the past few days (seven therapists all from different places, specializing in patients with a traumatic background) and they all agree I do NOT have a personality disorder. I have complex post traumatic stress disorder. Just because the symptoms of two disorders are shared does not mean you have both. It depends on the situation. My situation was due to prolonged exposure to traumatic events. Personality disorders are usually developed biologically or due to abuse from a parent or other adult figure. My disorder was caused by an extremely abusive boyfriend. When I was 16. That traumatic experience has led to symptoms like: flashbacks, fear of abandonment, insomnia, learned-helplessness, perfectionism, panic attacks, hyper vigilance, catastrophizing, anxiety attacks, avoidance, depression, etc.


So instead of focusing on what terms my therapists and I choose to use during my personalized treatment, please just offer me the help I asked for in defining dissociation. I have absolutely no questions, comments, concerns, or doubts about my own diagnosis. Just about dissociation. For those of you who offered insight and help on dissociation and its symptoms, thank you.