I used to work with people who suffered from abuse disabilities, addictions and criminality. I was diagnosed 8 years ago by 3 psychiatrics, I was on STD for 6-8 months but wanted to return to work. After 6 different placements the 7th was the charm and have been working there for almost 4 years.
During that time I worked through a lot of my work related incidents, and while this job is completely unrelated...I am having difficulties with working a full week, isolating myself behind a locked office door, starting work at 5 am so as not to have to deal with coworkers etc.
During my wellness plan I did 2 years of CBT with a psychologist and 3 years with a psychiatrist. I felt well enough to leave CBT but 6 months later found out my shrink was leaving town. So there has been a 18 month lull without that level of support. Needless to say I have been treading water but barely.
During my treatment I recognize that I may have been predisposed to PTSD as my father was in WWII and had a lot of characteristics of shell shock. On top of which, he was verbally abusive to my mother at times and physically abusive to my older brother and once with me. As I as the baby in the family I witnessed a great deal. I also move schools in Grades 3, 7 and 11.
My mother was also verbally abusive to me-and hypercritical about everything. I ended up cutting off contact with her after my father died as it was too much to deal with her. My therapist wanted me to explore my childhood trauma but at the time I just wanted to deal with work related incidents. Now I am thinking hat the stuff I witnessed/experienced may have caused more damage than I realized.
I am on a variety of meds to deal not only with my C-PTSD but I also suffered a heart attack 8.5 years ago. I am worried that once I open Pandora’s Box my childhood trauma will be too much to deal with.
Any thoughts are welcomed :)
During that time I worked through a lot of my work related incidents, and while this job is completely unrelated...I am having difficulties with working a full week, isolating myself behind a locked office door, starting work at 5 am so as not to have to deal with coworkers etc.
During my wellness plan I did 2 years of CBT with a psychologist and 3 years with a psychiatrist. I felt well enough to leave CBT but 6 months later found out my shrink was leaving town. So there has been a 18 month lull without that level of support. Needless to say I have been treading water but barely.
During my treatment I recognize that I may have been predisposed to PTSD as my father was in WWII and had a lot of characteristics of shell shock. On top of which, he was verbally abusive to my mother at times and physically abusive to my older brother and once with me. As I as the baby in the family I witnessed a great deal. I also move schools in Grades 3, 7 and 11.
My mother was also verbally abusive to me-and hypercritical about everything. I ended up cutting off contact with her after my father died as it was too much to deal with her. My therapist wanted me to explore my childhood trauma but at the time I just wanted to deal with work related incidents. Now I am thinking hat the stuff I witnessed/experienced may have caused more damage than I realized.
I am on a variety of meds to deal not only with my C-PTSD but I also suffered a heart attack 8.5 years ago. I am worried that once I open Pandora’s Box my childhood trauma will be too much to deal with.
Any thoughts are welcomed :)