Calling hotlines pretending to be a child being sexually abused.

[shimmerz]

my pain doesnt feel real anymore. almost like it happened to someone else not me,

Yeah, I get this as well. Almost like there is a cement wall in between my persona today and other days. I can't for the life of me figure out, once I am out of it, how to think the way I did while I was in it. Not sure if that sounds familiar or not to you. I put it down to a term called co-conscious. It is like, I know exactly what happened yesterday, but can't at all relate to it.

So even more reason to print off this posting and bring it in to your T. I am going to say that it seems like you have this little one in there who is desperately seeking help and soothing from the wrong places. Although this little one can't talk to your T yet, it is still important that you facilitate helping this little one get help from a qualified professional. The crisis line is not equipped to understand your little one's issues so it really isn't fair to be talking to them about it.

Oh, and I am referring to little one but that could be a phrase that is different for everyone. Some could call it a part, others a persona, others a regression, an echo.... the list goes on and on.

 

[joeylittle]

Agreeing with @shimmerz.

You truly can tell him exactly this:

I would like to discuss these issues with my T but the problem I have is when Im with him in person, my pain doesnt feel real anymore. almost like it happened to someone else not me, which makes it difficult to discuss.

In a funny way, the distancing effect may make it easier to talk about.

 

[NightSky]

Even talking to your T about how you feel in session vs when you are not, is really important. I’ve spent probably the last year talking a lot about that with my T. Thankfully mine lets me email. So there have been sessions I’ve come home from, when she would ask me to let her know how I was in the evening, and I’d be honest and tell her when I left I was shaking and crying, etc. and she would say she was so sorry, that in session I seemed like I was handling the conversation well. I finally told her that I wake up on my therapy day feeling fine and numb no matter what my week was like and I had no access to feelings that day, especially when I was with her. Since then she has been giving me book after book on dissociation and internal family systems. She checks in with me during sessions and asks questions to get me more present in the room. The process is impossibly slow and frustrating. I have emailed her ahead of session saying “I will seem ok. I am not ok.” That helps her in session to really get under those layers. I have parts that just take over and make everyone believe I’m fine to a fault. She has helped me realize I needed to do this before, but now the child part deserves to be heard. Please bring this up and work through it. You deserve to be supported in this. Regarding whether or not memories are real, that has been my struggle since mine surfaced TWENTY years ago. I am reading a book now that says narrative isn’t important. Having a felt sense of what your child part went through is what matters. So try not to go crazy over that. It will only delay your healing.

 

[Anarchy]

Moo, thank you for having the courage to post this thread.

A couple of years ago, and friend on the forum here received info suggesting (via another forum ) that a young teenager who'd already been abused, was getting into a very dangerous situation. Some of the details showed that the person knew how skilled abusers control there victims.

We agreed to go to the cops. Although I'm a long way from there now, I had lived in the area where this was supposed to be happening, so it was me who went to the cop shop.

What your posts have shown me, is that there could well have been someone who was hurting and in need of help, behind it.

At the time, when the info didn't make sense to the cops who'd supposedly been involved with this young teen, the other member and I assumed that we'd been trolled.

Perhaps not?

I really hope that your T is able to create an atmosphere where the young and hurt you feels safe enough to come into the therapy session.
@

 

[Deleted member 38906]

Yeah, I get this as well. Almost like there is a cement wall in between my persona today and other da...

Wow this is spot on. As I read your reply I get goosbumps because I feel like you are describing exactly how I feel (co-conciousness).

I think you are right, i need to try to address this with my T. maybe i could start off by explaining to him why it feels so difficult to talk about my trauma. part of it is because i feel like he (like everyone else) will down play my trauma and think it's no big deal. the very first time i told a T about my sexual abuse memories he said they cant be true because you cant remember anything as a toddler. Anyway, i just hate telling Ts about my trauma, bc once i do i hate myself for it and feel really bad for sharing my secrets.

Even talking to your T about how you feel in session vs when you are not, is really important. I’ve...

that's a good idea...ive decided im just going to talk about why i feel like i cant talk about my trauma with my T and maybe that will lead to positive outcomes.