Friday
Moderator
Long story short... It’s been a year long process trying to find a good therapist for my son (teenager).
I had the amaaaaaazing opportunity tonight, following an incredibly hard day :arghh; , where my visiting sister walked in on convo #12,602 I was having with my son having a hard time... and you could SEE her shift into work-mode... and I backed out, and the 2 of them made more headway in the 10 minutes I watched happening, than I’ve been able to make in months.
Oh. My. f*cking. God.
The difference training, experience, (and not being “mom” makes)? I know this. I’ve not only reaped the benefits of my kid having badass people in his corner, before, but 8 years of homeschooling could have been defined as exactly that - finding the people to bring into his life to make his life better. Teachers, coaches, programs, exciting opportunities left, right, and center. I used to be really good at that. (Why do they call it homeschooling if we’re never at home??? I was far less a teacher, to him, and far more a conductor / coordinating and arranging.) But I also haven’t done it for years, and years; instead having to deal with the fallout of whatever f*cktwit is making hard things harder this time. (In and out of the hospital, in and out of schools & school districts, in and out of court... there have been a LOT of f*cktwits, and precious few damn fine people). So, even though I know how phenomenal bringing outside experts in can be? It hasn't been a thing I can relax into, much less get excited about, for a long long while.
I’m a control freak. One of my very very few fears? Bringing someone into my kid’s life that will hurt him. Add those 2 things together, and finding someone as influential as a therapist into my kid’s life? It flat out terrifies me. Sick with stress, over it.
I needed tonight. I needed to SEE, to be reminded, how good it can be... for someone who knows what the hell theyre doing, to do what they’re best at.
Back when we were homeschooling? I got to “just” be mom. “Just” be me. I could relax into knowing that the people my son needed? Were in his life. I know he wants a therapist, but really? I think I’m the one who needs him to have a therapist. So I can go back to being me, and we can go back to being us.
I had the amaaaaaazing opportunity tonight, following an incredibly hard day :arghh; , where my visiting sister walked in on convo #12,602 I was having with my son having a hard time... and you could SEE her shift into work-mode... and I backed out, and the 2 of them made more headway in the 10 minutes I watched happening, than I’ve been able to make in months.
Oh. My. f*cking. God.
The difference training, experience, (and not being “mom” makes)? I know this. I’ve not only reaped the benefits of my kid having badass people in his corner, before, but 8 years of homeschooling could have been defined as exactly that - finding the people to bring into his life to make his life better. Teachers, coaches, programs, exciting opportunities left, right, and center. I used to be really good at that. (Why do they call it homeschooling if we’re never at home??? I was far less a teacher, to him, and far more a conductor / coordinating and arranging.) But I also haven’t done it for years, and years; instead having to deal with the fallout of whatever f*cktwit is making hard things harder this time. (In and out of the hospital, in and out of schools & school districts, in and out of court... there have been a LOT of f*cktwits, and precious few damn fine people). So, even though I know how phenomenal bringing outside experts in can be? It hasn't been a thing I can relax into, much less get excited about, for a long long while.
I’m a control freak. One of my very very few fears? Bringing someone into my kid’s life that will hurt him. Add those 2 things together, and finding someone as influential as a therapist into my kid’s life? It flat out terrifies me. Sick with stress, over it.
I needed tonight. I needed to SEE, to be reminded, how good it can be... for someone who knows what the hell theyre doing, to do what they’re best at.
Back when we were homeschooling? I got to “just” be mom. “Just” be me. I could relax into knowing that the people my son needed? Were in his life. I know he wants a therapist, but really? I think I’m the one who needs him to have a therapist. So I can go back to being me, and we can go back to being us.