General Can a Relationship Help PTSD?

[Kunoichi]

I am a sufferer of PTSD.

i can say that me having PTSD has not hurt our relationship but made us closer. I have had PTSD since the beginning however, and my spouse also helped me escape from my abuser. Therefore, it may be different.

Now that isn't to say there hasn't been a lot of communications so he can understand what is going on for me and vice versa. but I think just because you have PTSD or if you are a carer, doesn't mean you can't have a beautiful relationship. I think it just means your communication, support of eachother etc, has to be that much stronger.

 

[TLight]

Kunochi;
Your words are so inspiring for me. I've isolated myself from almost all relationships for most of my life because I knew there was something terribly wrong with me and didn't want to inflict that on anyone.

Now I'm starting to realize that part of my healing will be allowing myself to be me in relationship and hopefully still be loved and cared for. It is terrifying though, really terrifying because the risk of loss and abandonment is just so huge for me...........I just don't know if I can withstand anymore losses...........although the others were because I didn't have a clue what was wrong with me, so I was 'going off' all the time.........no one can take that.......people left over and over.

Now I'm a bit better.......but so afraid of relapse and abandonment. It is like my life is full of these little miny lives where I was involved with others.......then whammo.........either I run away or they boot me out...........I look back on my life and see pictures of all these relationships that are no longer in exisitance. It hurts terribly and I don't want it to happen again.

 

[trial'n'error]

My husband has helped me tremendously in acknowledging and recovering from my PTSD symptoms and behaviors. His support, encouragement and even at times disapproval have all helped me to behave in more healthy ways. I had no idea I'd been abused as a kid when we got back together more than 3 years ago... now, not only do I know and am out of denial, I have managed to face many memories head-on and my mood swings/rages are a lot fewer and weaker... perhaps it's because my husband is just so extraordinary (he is), but I suspect instead that unconditional love can help to heal PTSD.

 

[ladybug08]

Nicolette,

You could be right about me being in a relationship to be more socially comfortable. To be honest I have never felt comfortable in social situations. My mom made fun of me growing up that I have so many doubts about my social skills. I then having my son and not be married really affected me. I was ok being a single parent, but my parents were ashamed of me...to the point of not wanting me around. I got pregnant while in college. I quit. I did go back and finished, but I could not find a decent paying job, so I went back to college and got my BSN. Now since I graduated from nursing school, my parents don't treat me like trash... like I am somebody...and I still remember the beatings like it was yesterday. I see them for what they really are. FAKES... :mad:.
Love is conditional in their book, and if you do not measure up to their standards, you are a nobody. My mom had the nerve to ask me over for Thanksgiving, and to spend the night. I know spending the night would only set off my PTSD, and it would take days for me to get over it. I told her no, and that I did not feel like driving. Even my brother and sister will not go over for Thanksgiving. What a family...

 

[whitty]

Relationships in whatever form are stepping stones for sufferers...
That relationship either helps or it doesn't. I think a person has to first reflect upon their own safety and well being before getting in any deeper.

I completely agree - PTSD doesn't leave much room for concious when you are trying to keep yourself from drowing. Sometimes drowners drown the rescuer, completely unintentionally, I am sure but drown, nonetheless.

Yep, clinging to women to heal the pain - and when that one doesn't work, on to the next one...he is making me as irrational as he is.