WatkinsGirl
Bronze Member
I have posted my main story in the new members forum.That will give background and context to my questions.
It has now been almost three months since my last traumatic fight with my spouse, a combat vet, two tours from OIF. While the first few weeks of separation seemed to be ok, albeit painful, as they wore on, he became more and more distant.
The most recent time I went over the the house, he told me that he didn't want me in his gene pool, handed me an attorney's card, etc. He was so cruel, and told me he didn't love me and said all of these things that just didn't make any sense. He was like a totally different person, who was saying these terrible things about how worthless I am and just shutting down.
I tried being very calm and kind, and then I left. I went back to speak nicely to him, and he seemed inaccessible, except for one part, where he said "do you really want this?" and I said of course, more than anything. Then I left.
He told me that everything would go through his lawyer, and she would be contacting me. Only that was over a month ago, and I haven't heard a word. He first met with this lawyer on 11/26. He supposedly said that he decided on 1/3 that he wanted a dissolution. I am an attorney, and I can say, that that was over six weeks ago. that tells me that he either 1.) hasn't pad her full retainer or 2.) that he isn't really moving forward. but I don't want false hope.
so he calls me out of the blue and is really nice to me, at work, asking me questions about how I filed our taxes if I didn't have his w-2 (among other questions). I said, "honey, you told me not to do anything unless it was through your lawyer". I don't get it, you tell me not to do something, and then you call me a few weeks later to ask how I filed and where our refund was? I told him the refund amount in the winter, because it would be large, and I wanted to know if he would like me to file. I don't get this...
I tried telling him I loved him and missed him throughout this period and he got angry with me. So then I decided not to talk to him, and then he said "I don't know what you are doing, I don' know if you have a boyfriend, etc" I can't win.
So I am living at my parents, I have just started my own firm, my mom is sick, and I am just going day by day. I really miss my husband. We have been in each others lives for over 13 years and been together for more than ten. I want to reach out to him, but I just keep getting kicked. I can't handle too much more pain, but, I need to know if there is anything left for me to do. Can I write him a letter? Can I go over there to talk? I really don't want to date, I have no desire to be with anyone else. I am willing to do anything to save this relationship, even if it means moving across the world or giving up my career. But I need to know that if I do those things, that I won't be down the road 3 years, alone.
Has anyone been through this, separated, and reunited? If so, how did you do it?
It has now been almost three months since my last traumatic fight with my spouse, a combat vet, two tours from OIF. While the first few weeks of separation seemed to be ok, albeit painful, as they wore on, he became more and more distant.
The most recent time I went over the the house, he told me that he didn't want me in his gene pool, handed me an attorney's card, etc. He was so cruel, and told me he didn't love me and said all of these things that just didn't make any sense. He was like a totally different person, who was saying these terrible things about how worthless I am and just shutting down.
I tried being very calm and kind, and then I left. I went back to speak nicely to him, and he seemed inaccessible, except for one part, where he said "do you really want this?" and I said of course, more than anything. Then I left.
He told me that everything would go through his lawyer, and she would be contacting me. Only that was over a month ago, and I haven't heard a word. He first met with this lawyer on 11/26. He supposedly said that he decided on 1/3 that he wanted a dissolution. I am an attorney, and I can say, that that was over six weeks ago. that tells me that he either 1.) hasn't pad her full retainer or 2.) that he isn't really moving forward. but I don't want false hope.
so he calls me out of the blue and is really nice to me, at work, asking me questions about how I filed our taxes if I didn't have his w-2 (among other questions). I said, "honey, you told me not to do anything unless it was through your lawyer". I don't get it, you tell me not to do something, and then you call me a few weeks later to ask how I filed and where our refund was? I told him the refund amount in the winter, because it would be large, and I wanted to know if he would like me to file. I don't get this...
I tried telling him I loved him and missed him throughout this period and he got angry with me. So then I decided not to talk to him, and then he said "I don't know what you are doing, I don' know if you have a boyfriend, etc" I can't win.
So I am living at my parents, I have just started my own firm, my mom is sick, and I am just going day by day. I really miss my husband. We have been in each others lives for over 13 years and been together for more than ten. I want to reach out to him, but I just keep getting kicked. I can't handle too much more pain, but, I need to know if there is anything left for me to do. Can I write him a letter? Can I go over there to talk? I really don't want to date, I have no desire to be with anyone else. I am willing to do anything to save this relationship, even if it means moving across the world or giving up my career. But I need to know that if I do those things, that I won't be down the road 3 years, alone.
Has anyone been through this, separated, and reunited? If so, how did you do it?
