Can You Trust With Ptsd Anyway?

[timetorecover]

It's been nearly three weeks that I began to slip again. I became stressed about my husband having a friendship with a woman that he used to work with. I am totally paranoid and have had to let him carry on being in touch. If i ask him not to, I am scared he will anyway. So at least I feel like there is a little bit of control.

I can see my depression starting to take over.

It's that helpless feeling.

I can hear the judgmental voice in my head, blaming myself.

The overwhelming surge of self hatred and so disassociated at night that I scratch my arms and tense all my muscles.

This needs to stop. I cannot go on like this. Reliving the same patterns.

How do you break the cycle of silence? How can you have a relationship without trust?

My question is to other sufferers, is do u trust your partners?

I have trouble communicating and get so frustrated. It's a game of pretend its ok...

 

[The Albatross]

How do you break the cycle of silence? How can you have a relationship without trust?

My question is to other sufferers, is do u trust your partners?

I have trouble communicating and get so frustrated. It's a game of pretend its ok...

Breaking the cycle of silence is having the conversation, as difficult and uncomfortable as it may be. I am best served by writting it out and clarifying for myself the most important issues before I attempt to talk about anything serious with my spouse.

No I don't entirely trust my partner, but he has demonstrated certain foibles and inabilities. I did decide though that I loved him and we work around it.

Several times, I have had to take stock of my relationship with my partner... I had to decide if the adversity, heartbreak and betrayal was "worth it". I have stayed. But in your case, you don't know what the relationship is. If it is causing you difficulty I would definitely have the conversation. (???)

 

[OtterMedicine]

My partner has shown herself worthy of complete trust and intellectually I recognize that.

My emotions will tell me a different story though, and I have to remind myself that this is about me and what I have been through and not about anything that she has done.

Anytime I start to go there, I try to stop myself and do a reality check. (Has she done anything to encourage me to feel this way?) This helps me function from a kinda trusting place when I don't feel trusting.

 

[timetorecover]

Thank you!

 

[Tinyflame]

I can't do much of a reality check, as per trust, except to think later of an example where the trust is founded. Even if I know intellectually.

I have to go by blind faith, make a choice to trust and not 'think'.

 

[p-no]

Another side of the story:

I did trust my ex husband very much. And it proved to be too much. What I'm trying to say is that I tried making a choice and trust fully and not think, although all my alarms went off. I said to myself it was just my overactive alarm system trying to sabotage my relationship. It wasn't.

Only three years later, after having left him, I sort-of awoke from my own prior judgement re partners. I had thought for the most part of my life that if I just loved enough all would be well. I had figured that all the bad things (about him and me) would -- in a very awkward, childlike, hopeful way -- dissolve in thin air. Of course, they did not. Now, looking back, I have come to understand (mind and soul) what I used to do in previous relationships and that I did not want to go back to "black and white" anymore but find a way in the shades of grey, really looking at the person I'm potentially interested in, not choosing to trust and not think, but, differently than before, take offgoing alarms seriously and work out why they were going off every single time one is/was going off and then making an individual decision for that very moment.

In general, I have learned only over the last two years that I have to live "in smaller units of time", adjusting to things much more quickly than ever before. Meaning, if an alarm goes off, for example on the subway when a man sitting beside me behaves in an odd way, come to really realize what's going on, that the alarm is there for a reason, what bothers me, what I can do and then, most importantly, do it and move to sit somewhere else. This is just an example for all aspects of life.

It took me 13 years to leave my ex husband. Red lights had been flashing before getting married. It took me only one year to leave my ex boyfriend. For the future, I am planning to not having to leave anyone because of an increasingly better alarm- and rescue-system.

prime

 

[Anna]

No. I don't trust anyone. Just when I begin to think I can then sometimes stabs me in the back AGAIN!. This happened on various occasions with a couple of women who turned out to be totally toxic. I prefer now to be emotionally numb, to care about the important things in life like family, my children job etc... Getting priorities straight mainly.

 

[Tinyflame]

It takes me everything I have, to tell myself to think differently, 'believe' differently, feel differently, react differently (or not react, run away).