Can't Cry In Therapy

[allitherapy]

I have not been able to cry in therapy yet. I'm not sure if it's really necessary for my healing to cry in session, but I always end up crying immediately afterwards. Sometimes I'm on the verge of tears during session, but I hold back because I know if I start crying I won't be able to talk, and do I really need to pay to cry? I also know that when I do start hysterically crying, I want to be curled up in my bed or have someone hold me. I know my therapist can't do this for me, so I think that's another lesser reason why I don't cry in my sessions. Is anyone else like this or am I the only one who can't cry in therapy?

 

[Marie E.]

I've been there and I think it is that you don't want to feel as if you are losing control over yourself. That is just my opinion. (((Big Hugs)))

 

[Heather]

Hey Alli -

I Agree with Marie.

Big Hugs Too. Luv Ya. Heather

 

[BloomInWinter]

Ugh. Right there with you. Can't even envision being anything by numb in therapy.

 

[allitherapy]

I really don't think it's a control thing for me. I just know that if I cry, I won't be able to get the reaction I want and need from my therapist, which is for her to hug me and comfort me physically somehow.. Sometimes when I'm about to cry I want to just go sit by her feet and have her comfort me physically while I cry, but I know that can't happen, and knowing I can't get what I need shuts off the urge to cry. I was never comforted when I cried when I was younger and I want that from her now. I know I'm not going to get it, so I just don't let myself cry.

 

[Heather]

Alli -

Do you think she would hold your hand? Why don't you ask her? I don't think that would be crossing any boundaries.

 

[justwannabeme]

I can't cry in therapy, it's been over two years, about 8 weeks since he told me PTSD. I really want to but it's so hard, I have never ever shared a tear, loads on my own, but never with anybody. But I shouldn't be to hard on myself, it's been over two years and I finally think I trust him. Such a difficuly and foreign experience, not bad, just different. Maybe they go hand in hand, I have never trusted, or felt safe. Must be patient.....crap!

 

[Ron]

Maybe try talking with a trusted loved one and if you feel the urge to cry they can comfort you. It wouldn't hurt before hand to tell themyou may cry. I believe crying is an essential part of healing and getting going again in life. I believe painful memories and traumas can be frozen inside of us and we have to talk about it and cry. For me, crying is letting my terrified/traumatized inner child speak about the trauma. He is free to express his pain and hurt.

 

[cherryblossom]

I agree with Ron. Crying and 'feeling' is an essential part of healing. Even if your therapist can't physically comfort you, she can pass on words of comfort. Feeling sad, and upset, and crying is okay. It's a great release.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I don't *think* counselors are allowed to touch patients but they are allowed to have 'imaginal' comforting....where you imagine the child you were climbing in her lap and holding you, comforting you, patting your back.

I'd freak out if my T. touched me...can't even have hubby do that for comfort, much.

Hard stuff....

 

[amazedmind]

I can understand the frustration of not understanding reactions in therapy. Sometimes, I feel numb when I feel like I should be crying and sometimes I cry hystrically and have no idea where it is coming from.
I can also very much relate to wanting to feel truly cared about by my therapist and wish I was a little kid so I could be comforted and not being able to do that or have that as the really a struggle. I empathize totally.

 

[The Albatross]

Dry eyed and brittle boned here, I feel at times like dust. Reading here, I think it will be a milestone toward healing when I can actually just sit down and let it out. I agree and think that, at least, for me it has been a form of control, but at some point I would like to move on and experience all the emotions, even grief and vulnerability.