Can't Cry In Therapy

[Evie]

missing_the_sunshine, you shouldn't worry about upsetting other people or feel guilty about it. I don't think its a bad thing that happened today. T's are human too - and while they need to remain professional etc and probably do 99.5% of the time, they are still human, with emotions. Maybe it's a good sign that she is really listening to you and empathising with your story. Maybe bring it up with her next session, explain your concerns about upsetting other people, and what that might mean. Best of wishes, Evie.

 

[Reclusive]

Missing.... I kind of think it was sweet that your t had a cry for you. It shows she really cares. It creeps me out when they're all clinical and emotionless, personally.

 

[MAS444]

My therapist holds me sometimes to help me cry. Often when I am talking about someone I "go there" again and she'll hold me so I can cry and shake it out. It helps me feel less alone because I really feel like I'm there again. But crying is really healthy and important to discharge the trauma.

 

[Jen93]

Mine wouldn't LET me cry. I'd cry for perfectly normal things too- like my grandfather dying, or dissociating, or having a flashback- since being in an office-type setting was a trigger. She'd just be like "Stop crying." in a really weird... critical tone. It was hell. And then she wouldn't let me leave when I wanted to. I pretty much learned from her that I'm not allowed to cry- it's hard enough when you're already internalizing everything and feeling like you're not allowed to have feelings, but the place where you're supposed to let these feelings out won't allow it? That was triggering in itself. I think it's important that the therapist ALLOWS you to cry. They can just sit there and watch for all I care, but as long as they don't tell you how to feel- ("stop crying" does that) which invalidates you, it's okay.

It's perfectly fine to hide your tears though and save them for somewhere else. They're your feelings, and your emotions. It's NORMAL to not want to open up your feelings to somebody else, and leave it for where you feel safe; but I don't think your therapist would judge you if you let your feelings out during a session, or saved them. (Mine did, but she was a Cruella De Vil/ Wicked Witch of the West and I'll bet you're not with her!)

 

[missing_the _sunshine]

I had forgotten about this thread existing and then it popped up last night. I had a T session last night and my T spent most of the session talking which was great because I feel all talked out. I am at theowest I have been for a while and she knows that. She told me about how concerned she is about me. My panic attacks are increasing and are incredibly debilitating. She is worried about me never crying. I won't do it- I have not done it in T and won't do it at home. She thinks I am at breaking point and is concerned that whenever I start to feel any type of emotion that I shut off completely. Out of anyone that she sees that I have to most right to fall in a heap and cry for hours in her office but I have never once done it.

My opinion is that I don't want to, crying isn't going to change anything or fix anything other than to confirm that everything that my family said was right. I don't want them to be right, I can't let them win. If I cry they win!