Can't Fight The Suicidal Thoughts

[Alibongo]

Hey
So I've been feeling really low for a long while and made a plan to end it all. Ended up telling my T and she was great. This happened just a few weeks ago. I went on holiday which is a major trigger for me but on the plane it was like somebody just switched the anxiety off. It was the weirdest feeling it was still there but I couldn't physically feel it. My T thinks this is me getting better and wants to discharge me (see previous post) however things just spiralled this week when my friend lost her baby and a colleague died. Not to mention I'm laid up at my parents after surgery on my foot. Now the suicidal thoughts have come back-even stopped taking my painkillers in case I needed them for my attempt. I don't know what to do I don't have anybody to talk to as my friends refused to help when I asked them previously x

 

[Gs172003]

Hey
So I've been feeling really low for a long while and made a plan to end it all. Ended up telling m...

Let your therapist know.

 

[Alibongo]

Let your therapist know.

I have another week before I see her. Never mind it doesn't matter

 

[Gs172003]

I have another week before I see her. Never mind it doesn't matter

Are you out?

 

[Alibongo]

Are you out?

Out? Sorry not sure what u mean. I'm at home-can't go out anywhere on my own due to surgery. Honesty it's fine I'll figure it out

 

[Gs172003]

It reads like you are in the hospital. Are you out now?

 

[Alibongo]

It reads like you are in the hospital. Are you out now?

Oh sorry Yeah I'm out but staying at my parents

 

[Gs172003]

Out? Sorry not sure what u mean. I'm at home-can't go out anywhere on my own due to surgery. Honesty i...

Ok I thought you meant mental hospital.

Ok there are threads on here that deal with this issue. Read them. They will give you ideas on how to cope and let you know you are not alone. At. All.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Alibongo if it didn't matter, then you wouldn't be posting. You are reaching out, whether you know it or not. What can we do to try and help you feel a bit better? I know that when things hit us, we spiral, so let's see what we can do to help you unravel all of this. What is it you really need right now????

 

[lostforgottensoul]

MAKE A SUICIDE CONTRACT WITH YOUR THERAPIST!

"A suicide prevention contract is a contract that contains an agreement not to commit suicide. It is often used by medical professionals dealing with depressive clients. Typically, the client will be asked to agree to talk with the professional prior to carrying out any decision to commit suicide."

Suicide prevention contract - Wikipedia

Mine contains distraction techniques, self soothing techniques, CBT thought processes, some of my common distortion thoughts and the non-distortion, a bunch of shit to fully research, all sorts of great stuff, numbers to people and places, and that i will go to hospital and/or call 911 at the end if all fails.

It has a ton of stuff. This is a BIG part of keeping me safe from myself.

Tell your therapist and make a suicide contract!

ACCEPTS

Self-Sooth


Sucide crisis chat:
CrisisChat - Home

Sucide crisis text: Link Removed

 

[BlueOrange]

Please phone a suicide crisis line. There's an international list of them in Wikipedia. I'd also suggest that ringing your T and leaving a message with the information you gave us will help you get the best from your T.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you afford a private therapist? I really hope this is an option for you. I feel that you'll get the best care this way as it seems like the NHS just wants to let you go at any sign if improvement. :hug: