Can't Shake The Sadness

[pandora]

This roller coaster of PTSD..it is hard. I have had good and bad days and the past couple of months...after all my therapy...I have been SO sad. I cannot shake it. I am in therapy..still, have been on and off for about 4 years. Now I am doing EMDR, again. I keep wondering if that is keeping me stuck or if it is just my circumstances. ( My back injury, my sons autism, my mothers constant freak outs etc, etc) I just feel at a loss. I am wondering if an antidepressant will help but I am scared of taking another drug. Any words of wisdom..anyone?

 

[Deleted member 541]

Hi Pand....Glad to *see* you on here again, it's been a long time......Do what we all do, push ourselves to get out, to do things (even when we don't feel like it) and most of all, I think what bothers you the most is that your son has become so dependent upon you, that you feel smothered... Also the fact that you don't have healthy boundaries with your mother, and the fact that you walk on eggshells because of her tantrums, and her controlling ways, has you fearful and not feeling that you are your own person.....

Not healthy situations in either one of those, and something that you need to work on. Yup, I know we have discussed this till both of us are blue in the face.....LOL!!!!!! Call me later, when your phone has charged. LOL!!!!!

 

[pandora]

Maybe there is no answer...I just am one of those people that continues to bang my head against the wall...over and over again!

 

[Tinyflame]

Hi pand, sorry you feel like sh*t. Keep writing here, I would think it won't hurt, it's a safe place to say what you need to say. And ya, it does need to be said.

If you are "one' then I am "2", btw
:)

Just wanted to say great to hear from you, am praying for you, love you and at least know that.
-You are always missed.

 

[GodSeeker]

hello Pandora,

I hope you are feeling better since you wrote your post.

I just want to say something that could not appear reasonable at first. It is just my opinion and I only ask to think it over. I know what sadness feels like. Believe me. Just read some of my posts. I learned from it too and what I learned may be shocking to most people but it was what I learned. When I stopped considering sadness (or any symptom for that matter) as something that I should get rid of, as my enemy, not only it didn't bother me being sad but I didn't feel sad most of the time. I discovered that I was mostly sad because I was not able to get rid of it. There was a fight between how I SHOULD have felt and how I DID ACTUALLY feel and the same sadness was coming from that fight. When I let it be, as something that has to be experienced and a part of the ups and downs of life, it just goes by, passes without holding on to it.

When we fight some feeling, it seems that there is no end to it, and when we let it be it passes by making place to another feeling. That's what I learned (not from books) We perpetuate the feeling by fighting it. Once we let it be and observe it:
1º. It bothers no more
2º. It passes by as naturally as it came
3º. Something else takes place

It is the nature of things to pass by and not last unless we get involved with them with destructive emotions (hate, fight, shame, ...) We are conditioned to want to get rid of anything we don't like, did that serve any? I wonder.

 

[Tinyflame]

Sorry GodSeeker, not to disagree but personally that might not work for everyone. They don't always pass, accepted or not.
And that can leave one feeling that even that has failed.

 

[pandora]

Thank you everyone for your responses...having a better week and trying to pull myself out of this pit of despair that I have fallen into. NOT healthy at all.