:hug: bookoffee - All things considered, I think you are handling this amazingly well. When your first therapist was total crap, you asked for a new one. You are reaching out for help here, have a plan to reach out for help via a crisis line tonight. You have found the support to pull yourself away from wanting to end it all, and you have managed to hang in with work for 40 hours a week. I know you are in so much pain, and so much more needs to happen and change, but I didn't want to fully let go of these amazing positive steps you have taken even in this dark and difficult time.
It is so not fair and so awful that you have to go through this. :(
It does cost $350 per person to file bankruptcy in the US. It's cruel and ironic that they charge people so much to tell a judge they have no money! Bankruptcy could wipe out all your monthly payments on anything owed, even those that credit counseling sets up. Just because you meet with credit counseling, it shouldn't mean that you have to accept the plan or payments they give you. However, that all may be stuff to figure out down the road, because it doesn't even sound like you have the funds to file for bankruptcy and it won't solve the immediate problem of pending homelessness.
As far as any money others say you owe for the damages from this morning, ugh, that's BS. He was driving. Not your wife. The end. He has no claim against her. Worst case scenario, he sues your wife. She can actually include it in her bankruptcy. If he gets an attorney to sue her, it will cost him more in legal fees than any possible damages he could claim, and any attorney would tell them they are foolish to sue someone who is filing for bankruptcy because he is unlikely to recover a single dime even if he did have a legit claim. They would also tell him he is foolish to claim that any passenger owes him money for damages he endured to their car while he was driving.
I once was driving a friend to a job interview in a snowstorm, and my car was significantly damaged. I talked to my car insurance and an attorney, and guess who was financially responsible for the damages? Me. I made the choice to drive. I was the one driving the car. Which makes sense to me... (In my case, my friend actually wanted me to pay her for being late to the interview on top of paying for the damage to my own car. Yeah. I dumped that "friend" fast and learned how to set better boundaries.)
I'm sorry you lost your best friend. :( Maybe once things calm down, he will clear his head, stop being an a--hole, and come back around. Best friends sometimes do.
As for rides to work for your wife, perhaps a co-worker or ride share program would have options. It sounds like your wife is losing her cool quite a bit right now under all the stress. :( There is the idea that when the oxygen masks on the plane pop out, put yours on first before you help someone else. Even if she is falling apart, keep taking care of you, and encourage your wife to reach out for support too.
Is finding a cheaper place to rent an option? Housesitting? Renting a room or rooms in some one else's house? Asking your landlord for a few weeks to get caught up or asking for your employer for an advance?
I have been without a steady home for a few weeks a couple of times in my life. It sucks. But it's also endurable. You can get through this. Whatever happens, you can get through. It will be a temporary situation, and it will get better in time. Your life is worth more than any amount of dollars anyone says you owe. :hug:
