MVA Car Wreck Flashbacks

[babyblue]

I am not sure what is going on. I am 3 weeks 3 days past my wreck. It is early Saturday morning and since Monday my flashbacks have gotten worse. Thursday night I got 2 hours of sleep because of it and maybe 4 hours tonight. My wreck happened at 945 am and my flashbacks only happen at night and only in my bedroom no other room in the house. I am scared to sleep but I am exhausted. I'm not sure what to do. Especially since Thursday night it took one of my friends 30 minutes to get me calmed down and distracted enough to attempt sleep. He has major PTSD from an incident back in 2011 and has been the one I run to since my wreck. I won't admit to most people its still happening. Him and one other person are the only ones who know. I try and put on a brave face and not let people see how messed up I still am. I think I should seek professional help but don't know how to go about it living in a smaller town. I do not know if there is anyone around to help. I didn't want to ask for help in the beginning because I didn't want to be labeled as "crazy" or "weak" for not being able to handle it on my own. I feel like people will just say "get over it, you walked away without a scratch, and your truck is being fixed." But only the one person knows the toll its taken on me and tells me it's OK to be skrewed up the way I am right now and it is understandable. I'm so confused right now. Anyone with any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am only 22 years old and don't know how this is suppose to work. How I get my life back. I have been trying to "take it back" as my friend would say I have to do but the more I fight the more the demond fights back at me. Because even right now as I right this being alert the feeling is still there and everything is replying in my head. Am I crazy, is this normal? Does anyone know?

 

[Neverthesame]

I think I should seek professional help but don't know how to go about it living in a smaller town. I do not know if there is anyone around to help. I didn't want to ask for help in the beginning because I didn't want to be labeled as "crazy" or "weak" for not being able to handle it on my own.

Doctors in the US, are bound by law to keep a patients medical information confidential. Even in a small town, if he intentionally gave out that information without your explicit consent. Report him, he will lose his license to practice. Any doctor that does something like this deserves to lose their license. The only exception to this is if the doctor has sufficient cause to believe you to be a threat to yourself or others. Even then, they are only allowed to disclose the information to relevant resources, such as Police or Ems or medical staff at a different hospital if you are transported to one.

As for being crazy, I can tell you from experience that trying to ignore or bury these feelings, that's what can make you crazy.

Let me ask you this. You mentioned a friend of yours that sufferes from PTSD. Would you consider that person crazy or weak?

I feel like people will just say "get over it,

Yeah, that does happen sometimes. Honestly, these kind of people are assholes. You shouldn't listen to assholes. Why? Because every asshole is full of shit.

Your friend on the other hand. He is not an asshole. What he said about being ok to feel the way you are right now. He sounds like he knows what he talking about. Also yes. It is understandable, absolutely.

I highly recommend seeing a doctor. That would be the best place to start. Can your friend take you to a doctor outside of town if you need to?

Oh, and wecome.

 

[RussH]

You need to talk with a trauma therapist. The sooner you look for help, the easier it will be to deal with the issues.
Sometimes, regardless of how strong we are, we all need help, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[Rosewater]

This is exactly what happened to me after a road accident. From what you're describing, you have very typical symptoms.

The reason you can't think straight is because your Amygdala is jammed in panic mode and is producing large amounts of cortisol and adrenaline. This is a normal brain reaction to what you went through. Cortisol produces a lot of physical changes, including weird things like changes in eyesight.

The bit that is a real problem is that cortisol and adrenaline suppress the reasoning functions in your mid-brain/hippocampus. That's why everything is confusing and you can't think straight. You cannot think yourself out of this. Your brain can't physically do it under these conditions It's nothing to do with willpower or strength.

This all means you can't "take it back" yourself. Your ability to do that is going to decrease as time goes on. The flood of cortisol and adrenaline builds up in your body and brain. Over time, it becomes a feature of how your brain gets used to working.

How do I know ?

I left it 7 months after my accident to get help. I knew I was a mess, but thought I could work it out or it would sort it itself out. I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't think I could tell anyone because it was so weird and I had to keep working.

That was all wrong - I wasn't thinking properly and suffered these common cognitive distortions. They told me I was all alone and nobody could do anything to help. Eventually it built up to the point where I could barely function and could hardly work.

Please get immediate help - find a trauma counsellor, see your doctor, find out about PTSD symptoms. Your friend can support you so you get short periods of relief and he can help you get through rough bits - but you'll need professional help to recover.

People on this forum will help you as best they can, so post any questions and requests for help that you think of.

 

[babyblue]

He's not just a friend he's one of the best and my ex. He's unfortunately two hours away from me but always knows how to fix it. I don't trust the drs in my town to treat a common cold half the time. Admitting I'm skrewed up is hard. I wish I wasn't. I learned from it that I'm not invincable especially mentally. I've been thinking of going out of my town for help just don't know where to start.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote......."People on this forum will help you as best they can, so post any questions and requests for help that you think of."

Aye! that is so true, I think everyone who comes in here finds all the help and support they will ever need.

I know it's true in case, and while reading other posts on here, it seems everyone things the same.

 

[Rosewater]

I've been thinking of going out of my town for help just don't know where to start.

Maybe you can try a few Google searches on "PTSD counselling", "trauma counselling", "trauma recovery", etc & see what comes up.

I don't know if you have insurance, but the insurance co may be able to give you a list of people who are registered with them & have the relevant experience. It's important to go with your gut feel about who you like the look of & think you would like to work with.

 

[babyblue]

That's what my ex told me. He said go to my normal doc first hopefully they can point me in a direction to go.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

I am 6 months out. Some injuries not healing. I already had PTSD. It pushed me over and I have been excessivlely suicidal for the last two weeks when I learned some surgery might be needed that I cannot do. Each day I hate my new life but that does not have to be for you. I was born with a disability AND had terrible abuse AND then got sick AND then had the accident..........it just has piled up too high and now I am one of the middle aged Americans that wants to end their lives. I don't WANT to, but oh, I can't take anymore.

 

[Deleted member 487]

Doctors in the US, are bound by law to keep a patients medical information confidential. Even in a...

Not true. A couple years ago I had a doctor that gave ut my personalmedical info and when I went to the state medical board over it they shruged thier shoulders and said "so?" They refused to do anthing.

 

[Neverthesame]

@cactus_jack It is true.
The doctor that breached your privacy, broke the law.
The people that swept it under the rug, broke a different law.

It's disgusting that these things happen.