Cat... Pidgeons... Pidgeons... Cat...

[Jimmy1]

Its all about repetition. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit.
Well yes 4 months to train you and if you had the facility and could have 4 months in a deprogramming camp, it could be done.
I am slowly deprogramming. It took me a couple of years to let my hair grown long and grow a beard. It felt unnatural to have long hair at the start.
I know a lot of people that love that way of life.

Hear is the real kicker though.

We were raised with certain beliefs, and we were raised to do certain things certain ways. All good.
Then the military trained us and in most cases that training saved our lives in certain conflict situations.
So therefore our belief system has changed. If we were just dumbass civilians we would have died. Do you see where I am coming from.

You can change back, but some things are good.

 

[Wagon]

Hmmm,

That post made me recognize something in training that is the difference between Soldiers and Sailors. A real eye opener.

Soldiers are better off living... they can fight another day. All the training is geared towards that.

Sailors should be good at dying. They are trained to save the ship at all costs. Or even forced at gun point.

In Vietnam my fathers ship was hit and his compartment started to flood. He tried to escape out the above deck hatch......but the Marine Guard slammed and locked the hatch on him (as he was ordered to), splitting his forehead and sending back down to the flooding room. He survived, made it to another compartment and locked down.

We had the same system on the Battleship as well. Marine Guards Stationed at Engineering hatches just in case.

We were made to die saving the ship. The last of the 10 commandments of damage control is "Never give up the ship". That equates death for all.

But I wonder how much that is different between the 2. My meaning is the Army must have some sort of self sacrificial slogan that promotes bravery and motivation regardless of bodily harm. It's just not all about self preservation. For sailors it's Do or Die trying. Does the Army have the same variation or is there something different to it?

Wagon

 

[BV101]

So getting back to my point, as opposed to the crap that you've all been writing whilst I've not been paying attention... sigh. I had a little outburst again on child 1 on sunday. I love that kid more than I can even breathe, and she had done nothing wrong, but I went ballistic again. I am going to have to get a grip on this. Off to the mentals today. We'll discuss there and decide. I will report back my findings!

 

[Mockingbird13]

Im hoping that this will make sense - I am speaking as a carer - Sometimes, we wives do have a more citical eye on our spouses that are dealing with Anger issues - Its like we are now aware that this exists, and we tread softly as to not awaken that beast. Sometimes we take this view to the extreme and it will seem that even when you are angry for justified reasons, we now become on the alert and watch that it does not escalate - sometimes then blowing it out of proportion or even making the event bigger than it really was.

I speak for a few women that I go to group with - and we have agreed that its because we are scared - we fear that - oh my gosh this situation might get bad real fast and try to nip it right away, and unknowingly piss you guys and gals off even more - no we did not mean to do this, but it happens.

Sometimes we keep in the back of our heads the situation that started it, and try to make sure in the future that it dosent happen again.- Which is also frustrating at times - cause here we go again changing - but as with all things - there has got to be compromise.

This is tough - some of us want to work with our other half so we dont do this again, while our spouse, at that moment really does not want to talk about it - and we just dont let the issue go.... you see where Im going with this ...

Nonetheless - Its a huge step for you that you are aware, and I hope that you are communicating with your spouse how you feel - trust me it helps us.

Hang in there A. T.

 

[BV101]

i talk to my mental health help and you on here and thats it. my other half says she doesn't want to know about the past and i need to sort myself out. family and friends don't even know i was in the war.
my mother saw this outburst and now thinks i am a right shit.
this is why i bounce idea's of you all here.

 

[willis williams]

Alan good luck with the mentalist. I have done the same things flew off the handle at my kids for no reason. I don't know how to get it under control it always seems to depend on my previouce mood. Sometimes I can just laugh and let shit go but other times I whip that ass when I could have used words. I have therapy in the mourning I'll pick his brain on this one to since I suffer the same pisstivity at many times.

 

[Wagon]

Hey Alan, Much luck. I have always used a guiding golden principle with my kids that I keep in my mind at all times. I got smacked around and yelled at quite a bit growing up. Living with Father PTSD and a Mother who never wanted to address it.

So with my two daughters I always try to remember that they didn't ask to be here. Yes we have a duty to raise them, but thats about it. You can't really be angry at someone who has had nothing to do with anything. I don't know, it may sound stupid, but it works for me. Somehow it keeps all the triggers at bay.

I'll freak out on anything else in this world though. Up to and including garbage cans and trees.

Sorry Alan, this is a tough one. And I know it hurts. I can't even believe I've hurt my wife the way I have in the past.

PTSD sucks ass.

 

[BV101]

Well I am back from the mentallist and we had a bit of a chat about it. Without going into the nuts and bolts of it all, I think part of this is the whole lack of closure on a lot of issues, leading to frustration. Thats built up because I don't talk to anybody about anything and it all gets too much for me.
All a bit of a mess really. I wonder if I just told myself to "harden the f*ck up" it might work. Next week we are starting on the boxes. I think we are starting with the "at what point did you think that the war wasn't like you expected".
Good advice on the kids front there Wagon old boy. I felt a right shit afterwards as well. Ho hum...