Certain (social?) Anxiety Symptoms

[surviving_it_all]

Does anyone else have social anxieties issues?

This evening, I really wanted to go out and enjoy myself. I wanted to have a drink or two. I wanted to enjoy myself. I went out alone. It is always terrifying for me. I was not able to stay out. I listened to one street performance wandered by the clubs and bars. I couldn't bring myself to go inside. The thought made me too anxious.

Often, I can't be around people. I am not sure if anyone understands. I mean to say I can't interact with people. I just want to be alone. I want to be away. I want to be in a safe place. I don't like being touched but it is inevitable in public places like bars, clubs, school and work. I know this is not quite what social anxiety is, but I don't have another label. Its just I get so nervous in places where I might be touched.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I have some general social anxiety. I have the same problem a lot too. Often there are things I need to do out of my home but I simply feel I can't leave. I don't want too and I don't like being around others.

I don't have much to offer as advice but I am just saying I know the feeling.

 

[Orglethorp]

Anxieties like this are a big part of why I don't drink when I go downtown, and why I never go downtown alone. I can only had the club scene sober and accompanied by at least one trusted friend. It's taken a very long time for me to even get that far, too. I only started accepting invitations to go downtown this past fall, at age 24. I'm Canadian, and in both provinces I've lived in the drinking age is 19.

 

[just me here]

my interaction is with my family, my coworkers and my therapist. Other than that my only outside contact is with retail sales workers and other drivers on the road.

Today I watched as an out of state driver in front of me turned left into the path of an oncoming car doing highway speed. A last second panic stop and a swerve that put the oncoming car sliding onto the shoulder and overcorrecting back onto the road and very nearly into my trailer and the car behind me saved the day. I had to turn left too, I got to follow and watch the out of stater drive all over the road tweaking on his GPS unit, totally unaware of the road signs that could have given him the information he was probably looking for (is this the way to the beach?)

Thats my interaction for today. Yeah, I have anxiety. In spades.

I don't trust anyone, anywhere, any time. Going to a bar or club alone isn't happening. Too many people I know I don't want to meet out there. Lonely is safe, safe for me and safe for the idiots I might run into.

 

[Raj]

I am 40 and only go out with my wife and children and only for very brief periods. I don't trust "real world'"friends as my childhood was not great. If my parents are still saying my abuse is my fault and my other abusers are innocent as well how can I trust others. My wife and I get along because we trust each other and both had horrible childhoods. We have one very out going child and two that would rather be friends with each other but they all tolerate going out much better than me.

 

[cherryblossom]

Hi surviving_it_all. I don't know of that many females who would happily wander into bars and clubs alone to seek a drink or two and a fun night out.

Before PTSD I did occasionally go to bars on my own, but only bars where I knew there would be people I knew. And I'd probably do the same now, except my circumstances have changed, and I don't have such a good local knowledge or local circle of friends.

Being alone in a busy club full of strangers is completely different to being in a busy club with group of friends. Both could cause social anxiety, but are very different circumstances.

There is also a big difference with being around people you know, and being around complete strangers.

Maybe I've completely missed the point, if so I apologise. Perhaps you could go out with a small group of friends first, in social situations. Then go to a club with a larger group of friends. Then build up to the point where you feel comfortable to go to clubs alone.

 

[cat]

Hi Sur, I thought I'd developed social anxiety when my ptsd was at its worse. During therapy thought I realised it was that it was hypervigilance, I was so on edge just waiting for something bad to happen I just could not relax.

Once I knew that, my T helped me develop strategies to help with going out. I manage my anxiety by always being with friends, not sitting with my back to open space where people could pass & making it clear to friends not to touch me without me knowing. Everyone was very helpful & still are, it made going out much easier.

If I travel by public transport I always look for a seat that looks out on to the other passengers that way I know where everyone is!

 

[Barberian]

Along with PTSD, I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Social Anxiety is a very strong componant of my anxiety. I can go into public places as long as it's not too loud as long as I'm not expected to interact with people - talk to/with them. Any place other than my shrink I have to go where I need to talk with/to people other than say place an order at a resturant, I try to avoid.

I've been working with my shrink on this. It has to do with 20 yrs of military service where I had to watch what I did, and what I said/to whom I am talking with. I suffered some pretty bad circumstances where I couldn't say or do what I wanted to without ending up reduced in rank and in the brig, even though I was in the right (by tradition, regulation, and law).