Child on child

[Mero]

Yeah, I totally get the not knowing and doubting your own validity and perspective. So many mixed emotions, and it seems like there's always a voice inside of you wispering "It's your fault. You wanted it. It wasn't abuse because you allowed it. It's your fault. You shouldn't be so upset." It's so hard

Yes, that is exactly it. It so easily undoes so much progress I am trying to make in T, it seems to keep putting me right back at the beginning.

I want to be able to talk back to that voice, I think I have to keep trying and build strength in it because on the whole it gets crushed. The secret aspect of it feels strange, it was never said this is a secret but somehow I just knew it was. I don't know what was seen when we were caught, maybe it was presumed it was a one off but I think the part that hurts the most is that it wasn't just that we don't talk about it, it is more I'm not even going to ask.