Chronic Pain

[Rebel Girl]

Already had PTSD when I went to grad school but it was manageable enough that I could work or go to school. So basically my grad school profs worked me so hard (90 hours a week, constant pressure and threats) that I developed thoracic outlet syndrome. Then they kicked me out for not being able to work and painted me as a lier who was slacking and mentally unstable. I'm pretty much in pain all the time. My panic attacks make the pain worse but are also triggered by the pain, so unless I am heavily medicated things can get very bad. I don't leave my room except for food and don't leave the house except to get my constant supply of meds. A lot of the time I don't realize I'm in pain and instead it manifests emotionally while I suppress the physical sensations. As a result I'm either bitter and angry or nearly incoherent often. There's a sweet spot but I can only manage to stay there for so long each day. Gone to physical therapy multiple times. I've regained a lot of mobility but nothing really takes away the pain. Trying to take it day to day but don't really feel understood or empathized with.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

I don't really have advice, but I really do feel for you.

My chronic-pain problem has taken a back seat while I finally try to tackle PTSD. Physical therapy and judicious exercise helped me more than pain pills ever did, but I found it was useless unless I also ate enough and ate right. Exercise does NOTHING good without proper diet.

I, too, am learning how much stress contributes to pain. When my PTSD symptoms get worse, my pain almost always becomes worse. That's just how it goes.

I hope you find the peace and health you surely deserve. Big hugs.

 

[chibmonster]

i also have chronic pain to the point where i need to see physical therapist and the stress and panic attacks do make them worse. i also had to stop going to school as well because of it and no one believed me, sadly the pain has only gotten a bit better with stretching and i cant even do the stuff i used to , so i completely understand. It sucks balls. Hope you figure out something that works for you. Good luck!!-chibi

 

[Chava]

90 hour weeks = super stressful. But I relate to just doing it sometimes (years ago) and then feeling sort of beat up in the aftermath. I also relate to chronic pain. I more don't feel my emotions but feel physically horrible. But it is very isolating because people don't understand or they think you're just a mental case and the pain isn't real, like the kind you get when you injure yourself or have bloody proof. Irritability and depression are common with my pain, so any of your negative emotions might be a cue that your body needs rest...??

Do you have a therapist? I tried getting in with a pain psych specifically but my insurance is shit. I've done some somatic trauma work and that's been helpful for not totally melting down or disconnecting from my body every time it hurts. It's hard sometimes...pain makes me really irrational...keeps me stuck in a sense of urgency or emergency, basic survival stuff and panic...

 

[Rebel Girl]

Thanks everyone. I have thoracic outlet syndrome by the way. Figuring out what's going to work for me is going to be a process. After a year of painful massages, agonizing physical therapy and the reality that often none of these fix my condition. The surgery is often unsuccessful and problematic as well. I can use my arms fully most of the time and they're rarely swollen, so I'm a lot better than I was. Honestly I've lost the ability to go to appointments or interact with people outside of a retail/restaurant context besides my parents. Finally have an explanation for some of my other physical discomforts. Frequently feels like my limbs are being electrocuted, which has been a lifelong thing. Apparently 'shock' or the the feeling of electricity flowing through your body is a common anxiety syndrome. It's honestly one of the things that makes me feel the most like I really am losing it.