Childhood COCSA?

[Belle.bel]

I was recently talking to a friend about funny childhood memories, but the discussion got a bit serious when I told her about a situation that happened when I was around 6 and 7. I used to go over to my neighbor’s house to play w his xbox and superhero figurines, he was 9 or 10? I don’t remember exactly, but ik he was a couple years older. One day he told me he knew a cool game we could play, he took me into his closet and locked both of us inside. He kissed me and touched me and I was confused but not necessarily scared (not that I remember), the memory of the moment itself is pretty blurry. This became a regular thing, I developed a little crush on him and I even asked him if we could play that game on a couple ocassions. I think I accidentally told my mom about it and she didn’t let me go to his house ever again, his mom kinda dismissed it as kids being kids, which I agreed with until this day, when my friend said that was called COCSA. I researched a little bit but I don’t know if my situation counted as COCSA given that I wasn’t scared or “forced” into it? Can someone help me?

 

[Friday]

1. Do you have PTSD?

2. The overwhelming majority of children experiment sexually with each other (something like over 90% with siblings, most of the rest of the 10% with friends)… according to the kinseys/sex&sexuality research.. .with ZERO history of sexual abuse amongst any/either. “Just” processing things in their sphere, like kids playing cops&robbers, who are not actually children of cops or criminals. They’re aware & play. As children do. Does it rise to the level of COCSA? Almost never. Less than 1%.

3. COULD it have been in the 1% or less who are dealing with their own csa/childhood sexual abuse by acting it out with friends/family (which is near 100% for children who have been sexually abused, even though… okay, let’s get this strait… whilst only 1-4% are sexually abused… nearly 99% experiment sexually, before puberty / acting out adult drama/norms for a variety of reasons). Sure. Whether or not the OTHER kid has been sexually abused, or not, if this was your only experience. Could it have been? Yes. Was it? Don’t know.

4. If you IDFK? You’re in the 99% of kids being kids. But the 1% is still VERY valid. Where do you think you fall?

 

[beaneeboo]

mom kinda dismissed it as kids being kids, which I agreed with until this day, when my friend said that was called COCSA.

I would say this is key... if it's never been an issue or impacted your life in any way until your friends comment is unlikely to be trauma

I researched a little bit but I don’t know if my situation counted as COCSA given that I wasn’t scared or “forced” into it? Can someone help me?

This can go both ways. In your case likely not cocsa if you haven't had any other come back from it...

But there are cases of cocsa which happen where force or feeling scared isn't part of it. I was having sex aged 9 with a minor. Didn't think it was cocsa as initially I wasn't scared and didn't think I wasforced. But it was cocsa

Go with you gut