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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

actually i wonder if i can't remember because I'm so used to deaths being horribly gory, dramatic, or I have to take care of them while they die, that I can't remember a normal one?

because he's definitely dead and I know that I think but I don't at the same time. It's like I stored the memory in the wrong place

jeez, my memory is like living in a hoarded house
 
not even my family members die nice deaths. Man, no wonder I assume all the time I'm going to die lol

except I'm not scared of death. I've seen it too many times to be afraid. I'm not alone, either. At least it wasn't in the military. I've heard of worse
 
uuuuugh trying to remember is killing me



well, different train of thought then:

i've removed H and J from kinghood. Brandi liked them to be kings. She wanted to be powerful. She was against any way of demoting them.

But now they're mine. And like any good author I'm making them work for their rewards, but they don't get to be kings after the reader meets them. It's not a good book unless there's trauma and drama
 
Sietz said:
It really does affect our cognitive abilities to live in messy places.
Click to expand...
yes! this! plus its a place filled with bad memories. Of course your brain is like a squirell on crack. It wants to hide so much from you -- and it can't keep up. So it just makes a hole here and there and dumps whatever is nearby in it. Poof! No more bad memories

I was reading the part about your mom and it made me think about a conversation I had with my T about my whackadoole brother. She looked at me and said --" why in the world would you be responsible for changing someone elses mind about how they live? Who do you think you are and what kind of superpower do you think you have?"

And she was right. He chooses to live like he does - because he's nuts. My endlessly banging my head against the wall to get him to see reason was only affecting me - not him. Because he doesn't see the problem. So I had to get ok with it. And that sucked. But . You can't change someone who doesn't want to change --- even if it costs them their life.

Which is just damn sad.
 
Huh

Great points

Maybe I should keep that in mind

I really do want the house cleaned :I

News:
I was showering and it was relaxing, and then I heard my mom laugh from the kitchen and she came and knocked on the door. She said in humoured way, “The ice cream sandwiches say ‘NOT FOR DIABETICS’ on them! What’s up with that?” And I told her very seriously, “Someone’s been sneaking into the house and eating my ice cream!” And, “There’s also a smiley face! Could you see it???”

She was like, “I’ve been caught D:” and it was pretty hilarious. I’m glad she has a good sense of humor :)

More news:
I slept for thirteen hours

I am no longer having insomnia (yay for no more bad perscribed drug) but I can’t stop sleeping for ridiculous amounts of time

My dreams were all about saving a white dog I saw last night, who I tried to find but couldn’t at about midnight (yeah, I can walk around a neighborhood at midnight after a random possibly dangerous dog without fear!)

Bigger news: I asked my mom about Buddy the Newt (except I accidentally said Newt the Buddy because no one in my family can talk)

And she literally said

“My brain says he’s not alive but I don’t know why, I can’t remember a thing. Maybe you should ask your brothers”

I must find out about my newt, you guys

Where is my newt

Also my baby snake taught himself to climb and now I keep hearing him fall on a plant I put in his house to lift his mood. He’s so cute

I’ll attach his face from a bit ago
 

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[deleted some facts]

A Latino/black family moved into my neighborhood this year and when the mom takes her kids on walks, the neighbors like to come out on their porches and stare at them

If that tells you anything

If I come outside holding a snake (this has happened) my next door neighbor patriarch will tell me that this is why women destroyed man’s destiny in the Garden of Eden, trusting evil creatures

Nudge’s face DOES look pretty evil so I get that, silly me!
 

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