Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[littleoc]

Also, happy new year lol ?

 

[bellbird]

If you want to call/chat between work and T, just send me a message :hug:

 

[littleoc]

Thank you ?

I’m good for now. I think I got triggered? I’ll definitely talk it over with T. I can’t run away from someone I need to take care of! Well I guess I COULD but that’d be pretty rude lol

 

[littleoc]

I’m sitting by the pond eating my dinner at work so I’d say I’m okay enough now!!

The new dishwasher is definitely a sketchy individual but that’s fine lol

 

[bellbird]

I can’t run away from someone I need to take care of!

Just remember that you are the #1 you need to take care of, too though :hug:

 

[littleoc]

I’m a little stressed out because I’m not quite sure yet how I’ll afford all the bills for next month. Ugh. I’m sure it’ll work out.

Anyways, I found out from opening all the mail that my mom somehow owes like $5000 in credit card bills for Sam’s Club and Target. I have no idea how or why o.O looks like she may have made the purchases after she already lost her job, too, and then ignored the bills for pretty much the entire year... So I suppose I should prepare for her to get sued, lol

 

[littleoc]

She got us a ton of stuff for Christmas, if y’all remember that (probably not lol). So I guess that’s how she did that.

I’m pretty sure I should handle her disability money for a little while at least whenever she finally gets it, cuz holy moly

 

[littleoc]

Anyway. I keep gettting triggered any time someone acts annoyed when I talk. It’s very annoying and I swear I’m not full of myself and think no one should ever be annoyed by me ever. But, it would be nice if people could mention if they can’t talk right now. My mom and I chat with the TV on all the time so I didn’t realize she was actually watching a show. She just started acting like what I was saying was stupid out of nowhere and I got really messed up over it — so I’m trying to figure out how to talk to her about it or if I should.

I’ll tell the full story later if I feel like it, cuz thinking back on it is making me too anxious. Very annoying. (I wish annoying myself were a trigger cuz then it’d at least be funny :D Just kidding tho)

 

[littleoc]

The guy who assassinated Garfield has the same personality as my dad, lol.

 

[somerandomguy]

The guy who assassinated Garfield has the same personality as my dad, lol.

Crazy?

 

[littleoc]

Oh, also. I’m eventually gonna make enough money (statistically it’s very likely) to move out :D But I’ll have to talk to my mom about it now. She raised four babies in this house. And bought it herself. You know, before my dad screwed that up.

My mom told me an actual funny story about my dad the other day. Seems like he was a funny dude. I sort of remember that from when I was a kid. If I can ever reconnect with him, maybe I’ll remember it better.

Also also, something triggered something way more serious from my PTSD than my relationship with Brandi (which is what the “oh no people are annoyed” thing is). Although maybe that’s even earlier than her. Doesn’t quite matter honestly! I have been thinking about that lady who died in the hospital I was in. Severe neglect. It’s triggered all kinds of fears that are making it a little hard to think? I guess I’ll talk about it later when I’m less convinced I’ll freak someone else out. ?‍

Crazy?

? Very!!! He killed the president because he felt the president should be thanking him for getting him into the presidency (he made a speech that everyone ignored), and when he didn’t get a thank you he decided to kill him. He loved the attention he got for it, and had gotten a gun that specifically would look nice in a museum, lol. That’s not even the best story about how crazy he was, haha. Crazy people in history are fun.

 

[littleoc]

The weather is super nice today though!!! And at least I’m not homeless :D