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Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

Can’t make this stuff up. Waited over an hour to go to bed to avoid the smell. Smell was gone. Began nightly routine, AND THE SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN IN THE ROOM I NEEDED.

It is decidedly not funny. Spraying perfume everywhere. Hopefully not the one I’m allergic to, didn’t think of that until I typed it. I guess it was a bit impulsive.

Stupid... thing
 
Update: sore throat now but definitely no allergic reaction this time. Maybe the steam made it less problematic? Probably not

I have severe allergies to perfume, it’s really annoying because the companies sometimes claim their ingredients are secret

Which is weird because it isn’t rare. Most people have severe reactions, sigh as headaches, statistically
 
teach her to say something...
I hung a bell at the back door and taught SD to ring it when he wants to go out. Works like a charm. Sometimes a little too well LOL
Get it? =)
yes!! too funnny!
Does anyone else get intense flashbacks with smells? It is very upsetting
yep. I've heard that smell is one of the strongest things to attach to memories - so it would make sense they could cause a flashback
 
I had a nightmare about getting decapitated again, so that sucks

Luckily I haven’t been decapitated in real life :) so instead I woke up from intense pain in my neck because it was cramping so much and I was slightly convinced I had put it in a weird position

Then my half asleep self was like “oh remember your fully body exam last night and your oddly swollen lymph nodes even though you couldn’t find an infection”

Thanks, brain, I was getting worried that you weren’t useless anymore. Glad that’s settled. You’re not even 25, shut up, immune responses and cramps are literally not related unless your HIV positive or something

And it replied “yep we sure been having fun with the chemical burn in the shower” which is true, because now it turns white and has most it’s feeling back unless I put it under hot water, then it turns red and whiter and goes numb, and it’s fun

And does not count as an immune response

Nightmares ≠ instant doom

Surprising, I know. Now where’s my electric warm pack?
 
Dreams and nightmares aren't always what they seem. I looked up decapitation in nightmares. Very very interesting! For example it could mean.... Unclear/incomplete thinking "losing your head", symbolize detaching yourself from a situation weighing on your mind, represents the severing of something before completion, separate head from heart, a past life memory, symbolizes transforming a negative aspect of your life that is no longer serving you so you can bring back something positive.... Told ya, interesting!
 
I know what's annoying me. My mom constantly talking down at me about her opinions. She doesn't seem to want to hear what I have to say.

Also, I stepped on my dogs tail while she was trying to follow me. I got mad because the reason she was following me was because she wanted my food. I nearly lost my food. Glad I didn't. I've lost a lot of food in this house for stupid reasons. One time, before my brother's and I cleaned the kitchen (no, you can't tell it's any better now, in fact it's gotten worse, but at least there's a sink now, and an entryway into the kitchen at all) there was no way into the kitchen. It was totally blocked off, and worse, the sink was so full of straight up disgusting dishes that it wasn't usable. This was a downright shame because my uncle, Gary, who had just been fired from his detective job for not being racist enough (I'm not exaggerating), had changed the faucet for us. He's a very kind dude. Yeah, the same one who ran away at age 16 to join a war because that was a better option than living with his dad.

So when I cooked noodles, I had to squeeze my way in, and I was the only person small enough to get into the kitchen. I had a newly-messed-up wrist. In fact, it was getting rubbed into my face, because I had been an artist. I painted, I did still life, I made sculptures, I could draw a face as long as I had half of one to base mine off of (ha), yada yada you've heard this before, and then I had that little accident and in the middle of a painting I had to direct another person's hand to finish my piece, and it obviously did not come out how I pictured it.

It's somewhere in the mess of a living room with my other artwork, no idea if it's in any kind of savable condition at this point.

I would cook noodles and then be forced to go to the bathroom of all places to strain them. The bathroom has a tiny sink that no one has washed for years, and that's where I had to expose these stupid noodles. We also could put the strainer in the bathroom sink, because my mom was convinced that it would dirty up the strainer.

Therefore our dinner would always end up in the bathroom sink, because my messed up wrist could never hold the pot steady and I would dump it. And get laughed at. Which, yeah, it was funny, but also, why did I have to have noodles in the bathroom? Why was it so disgusting? Why is everything disgusting?

I was in the middle of OCD work at the time and the therapist I had back then was literally like, "You did a good job rinsing them, now I wish you would have eaten them" BITCH, WOULD YOU EAT THEM?? That was really not just a me-thing, y'all haven't seen this f*cking sink. Neither of my brothers even bothered brushing their teeth anymore and that sink was likely half of why
 
That was an exercise in free writing, I think all I did was make myself more annoyed. It's an annoyed kind of day every day around here. This might work better if I had a prompt or if I was somewhere nicer where I wasn't mad at the floor
 
Also I stepped on some cheese today.... which is wild, but also I don't know how to get it out of the carpet. The carpet is disgusting anyway, I'm not sure if it matters. Cheese > cat feces I guess

Luckily the current cat only goes in the litter, unless I'm not home doing the litter and it's overflowing. Because I'm apparently the only one around here who understands that all animals are a time and money commitment and aren't just for fun. Neglect is serious and in a cat's case utterly disgusting

Everything here is disgusting. I'm disgusting when I'm here.
 
Cats are kind of for fun, it's supposed to outweigh the gross stuff. But you have to actually do the gross stuff

Why does Hollywood and people like Brandi always complain that babies are gross because they poo, pee, slobber, and throw up, but then act like puppies and kittens pooping and peeing everywhere is fine?
 

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