Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[ILoveLife]

@littleoc
You can always go to France and be an activist against deflorestation:

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[Freida]

What else does someone need to move out?

I've lived in homes with lots of stuff, and I've lived in my car and couch surfed. What did I need in both places?
To be safe
To be sane
That's truly all you NEED.
Now, what do you want? things like a couch and dishes and money to pay the rent and the power/water/garbage/internet bills. But all those are negotiable - especially if you have a roommate

Have you looked into disability? Or are you already on it? sorry - fruit fly brain o mine doesn't remember. :laugh:

I love your list....except for..

Things my therapist might be disappointed to hear:

shes not going to be disappointed. These are just things you need to work on -- but you know that. And the knowing part makes it a win! :hug:

 

[littleoc]

I wish you were here so you could move in with us.
There'd be plenty of room for you and Nestle, and Dove and Tweeter would be best friends.

Dude, if I could I would immediately jump on that!!! There’s a lot of work for biologists of any kind in NZ!

But of course it would make it harder to visit my family D:

Also — and I’ve never mentioned it in a thread where you can see it for some reason — I’m adopting two cats my sister owned as soon as I move. One, Kichi (I wonder if I’m spelling that right?), is pretty normal, just has a hip issue. But the younger one, Taz, was diagnosed with feline PTSD when he was six months old, so if I moved to a new country and there were a lot of people, someone would get mauled before he could even hide effectively! lol. He’s a good cat, though. I’m excited to show him some peace of mind. Nestle could be a HUGE help to him, since she is already obsessed with cats. :P

I really really really want you to stay alive.

Sorry!!! I didn’t mean to say that!!! I’m alive and well and won’t do anything! I have an alternate plan to that, and that’s good for me.

@littleoc
You can always go to France and be an activist against deflorestation:

Lol, true!!! I can make a house that looks better maybe :P

I believe in them!!

That's truly all you NEED.

Good to know

Looks like, then, all I actually could use is a bed, a bed frame, and a dining table. But I’ve been living without a dining table for more than ten years so I could just get a folding table and call it a day, lol. I’d love to eat at a table!!!

I did in the dining hall at University and at the cafeteria in high school. But you know, somewhere peaceful that isn’t a restaurant!!!

Have you looked into disability? Or are you already on it? sorry - fruit fly brain o mine doesn't remember. :laugh:

Hm. My mom told me to do this and I totally ignored it....? Lol

I don’t think I qualify, though?? Food stamps at first maybe, but I’m hoping I won’t need to because I’ve got this cool scientist training lol

Speaking of, having worked with millions of fruit flies, I’ve gotta say that your memory is at least 3% better than a fruit fly :P :D

And the knowing part makes it a win! :hug:

Oh, neat

I just asume it’s an approval/disapproval thing.

But all those are negotiable - especially if you have a roommate

Nice, nice

I have no idea if a roommate would like me much. I’m hoping to be mostly self sufficient! But I like company, so I will consider it at the very least :)

Plus people have lots of ads for wanted roommates around here so that’s like half the work done for me!

 

[TTC18]

To move into a new place by yourself, you'll also need to be aware of the $ deposits. Utility deposits and apt deposits can realllly add up. You can call in advance and ask how much they'll be. Some places it's dependent on your credit score. (Wait - realizing I don't know if you're in US or elsewhere?) If you move in with roommates, you'll not have the utility deposits, and apt deposit will be less since it's divided up. Also you'll need less furniture, probably.
You may need to get some optional-type appliances, like washer/dryer.
You can get a blow-up bed for like 20$ at walmart in a pinch, so realistically to just get out of the house, you've got all you need. You can build up to more comfort as you go. And thrift stores can be fabulous for furniture.

Living in a quiet clean healthy environment is worth its weight in gold.

 

[ILoveLife]

And remember it's not just the roomate liking you - it's you liking them too!

 

[ILoveLife]

I don’t think I qualify, though??

Why not? It's actually a good possibility and I do think with TBI, OCD and PTSD you would qualify.

 

[littleoc]

You can get a blow-up bed for like 20$ at walmart in a pinch

Great to know!

I do have a cool sleeping bag and a warm one (can stand -5ish degrees) so between those, surely I can get a place to sleep even if it’s not the best immediately!

I was gifted the bed I’m sitting on by my mom and dad when I was 3-4? So I image no one else would panic if I just kinda dragged it out... though I’d be terrified of what it might touch on the way outside D: probably would want to buy special mattres protectors or something...? Lol

Great to know about the deposits! I’m thinking I should rent before I buy so I can get familiar with the processes better? Though I found a house for sale SUPER SUPER cheap that isn’t even on auction like a ten minute bike ride from my mom’s place, so that’s tempting. Despite the fact that I am not yet employed, totally don’t have the money for a down payment currently, and don’t have a refrigerator that isn’t mini! Lol

And yes, I’m in the US :) I’ve got a “fair” score right now, which is great because it was so poor (my mom did something to it, long story short, but I was responsible because I had just turned 18) that my university asked me about it. Which was awkward. Since I was taking out loans. Lol. I’m thinking when I get a job, whatever it is, I will get a credit card and start carefully spending to get my credit into “very good.”

Ironically my mom does work for Equafax or however that’s spelled, so you’d think they’d offer some community support :P (just kidding though, that’d be unfair *cough*)

Thank you!

Why not? It's actually a good possibility and I do think with TBI, OCD and PTSD you would qualify.

Hmmmmmm I function well, though. Well enough that I could never convince the worker’s comp doctor what I needed until a nurse told him “she has perfect memory but walked to a different city while trying to walk to your office in the next neighborhood.” My sense of direction had gotten scary bad to the point that my sorority sisters were afraid to let me out at night, but the doctor — who had to read the definition of concussion out loud to himself (maybe because he was a lawyer originally and likes to be clear on definitions?) — kept saying I was “just stressed” even though I literally couldn’t read. :( Plus he sent me to a psychologist who was trying to diagnose me with a learning disorder without any explanation?

It was worse than that but it stresses me out too much to talk about it. If was weird because the insurance company was the one actually trying to help. Which is unusual, by the way.

They eventually couldn’t tell the different between the new head injury and the many many many past ones, so when the doctor closed the case, they went with it.

It was funny that I even chose that doctor though, because in my confused state I was trying to go to a place I wasn’t allowed to go. Apparently I was told three times in a row by the risk management man that I wasn’t supposed to go there. Lol

That was also when I went amnesia-y and helped someone break into the theater I was managing. I love hearing that story! I can’t remember it at all. The person who was breaking in told me about it because she was so tickled.

But anyway, long story short, I can manage and I’m not sure how to make them believe me. I still score high on the tests they give me. They don’t seem to care that it causes me headaches?

But I guess I could try maybe? I don’t know what I’d get as a benefit though?

 

[littleoc]

Wait, I think I know what was up with that weird therapist! She had diagnosed with me an executive functioning disorder. She hadn’t heard of PCS. So I was freaking out because I couldn’t do my university work and refused to take a second medical leave. Rough year, that was!

I got some really, really cool accommodations after that though. Like being allowed to go home and nap mid-exam! And getting free textbooks that computers read to me. Fuuuun.

 

[littleoc]

I’m probably so confused about this because my brain was malfunctioning and I didn’t know I was allowed to go to the ER. And that was when Brandi got serious about Fungus, and so my device was reading me her messages and Fungus was the only one there to respond. Confusing time!! I remember it kind of fondly. I probably shouldn’t talk about it then

 

[ILoveLife]

Maybe talking about it will help put into perspective?

Don't mean to overwhelm you, but avoidance is a real issue :P

 

[littleoc]

Hmmmmmmmm. Maybe.

It’s hard to work with a trauma that was exceedingly happy? Lol. I can’t figure out if Brandi knew what she was doing or not. Clearly the reward center in my brain was messed up that day though

I guess that happens to the best of us :P

 

[ILoveLife]

When the time comes you'll be able to sort it out.
I used to think I was happy with R too. That wasn't happiness though, it was survival.

T said something, can't remember the exact words but it was something like - it's natural for us to think we're actually doing great and are happy about our current situation in order to accept it, with time it becomes easier to say "I don't want this for myself".

It's in fact denial. I used to think being my father's daughter made me happy, it really didn't.

So, when you think you were happy with Brandi, while she messed with your brain that way and used you... well, that's your trauma brain in denial about the underlying emotions you felt, the confusion, the thought that it wasn't right, the anger, etc.