Colorful and hopefully optimistic but maybe hateful occasionally

[somerandomguy]

Brandi was an abused child, but she still made choices. Anyone can make the choices she made. Most people don't, because they have morals, or decency, or a fear of the law, or some other reason not to. Brandi didn't. Maybe she was mentally ill, but most mentally ill people don't abuse other people, either.

You have the right to be angry at her.

 

[littleoc]

Thanks, you two :hug: :hug:

 

[littleoc]

I got myself a tiny arcade game! I have always loved this game lol

My dad used to be a huge nerd, so I got introduced to real fun at an early age! Lol

 

[littleoc]

Also got myself a Pokémon game. Cuz why not, lol. And a stress ball inside a stuffed animal, and a squishy unicorn pig thing.

 

[littleoc]

The best thing about the tiny arcade game is that if functions exactly like the original 1979 version! And also the coin slot is the power button. I wish it came with tiny coins though, that would have been funny.

 

[littleoc]

I found 11 places I could apply to work in. That's a start! Hopefully I won't need to go beyond that.

Technically I could also work in Nashville as a biologist but I'm going to wait a bit longer. Probably because I'm still underestimating myself.

 

[littleoc]

Okay, I'll apply for science jobs. I just talked to my sorority sister from undergrad and she told me she applied to over 70 jobs and got one!!

So, revised goal:
Apply for quick jobs -- the manager positions and library stuff. Luckily I have experience for both.

Once settled, apply for microbio research work. I have experience in genetics, cancer, viruses, but also not-micro stuff like ecology and animal behavior. Surely I can find something.

Or at least get involved in the city more. The amount of deforestation here is killing me. I walked in the woods the other day and y'all wouldn't believe the amount of rare creatures I saw, sitting between invasive species. People are bringing in invasive things by the handful, but they don't even know it. Maybe I should set up a program in the area, for hiking and bird watching and other things people could bring their children to?

I taught three classes of high schoolers once. That was fun. They asked some great questions, several scientists in the making there

 

[littleoc]

Here’s the text I sent to my therapist. We’ve been working on pushing out things that don’t fit the future me I see in my head.

She’s so far given me two free appointments. I hope to get a job soon so I can pay her. I think I have enough stuff here to make her some cookies at least. Ginger cookies are fun to make. Might make them at my aunt’s or sister’s though — just to make sure there’s room. It’s safe to eat things I cook here. I’m extra OCD about food cleanliness. Especially with eggs. Because my mom keeps getting the weird sketchy eggs, not because I’m a weird millennial :) But I am a weird millennial. But not politically weird. Just weird.

Hello!

I forgot to tell you, but I got my license! Yay!
My next step in my goal for moving out is to get a job. (Then, save up. While also eating, unlike summer-me. My nutritional therapist would frown at me if I didn't follow a little of her guidance at least. Gotta eat that fruit.)

I'm going to do what we talked about, and search for "quicker" local jobs first. Manager, library, whatever I can get (that's not entry level) to get some income. Then, after six months or so, apply everywhere to get my scientist job so I can keep on with the career goals. :)

 

[littleoc]

My back hurts. Stupid toddler bed.

I took the sheets off a while ago to clean and found a label that said that the mattress is “extra firm.” I asked my mom why she got her toddles “extra firm” out of curiosity, like if toddlers are like babies or something, and her response was “I didn’t know there were other kinds.”

It would have been kind of cool to have had just one parent who knew things.

And no, that statement wasn’t about the mattress.

My back really hurts right now though.

 

[littleoc]

My mom knows one thing. Numbers.

My dad knows only whatever he read or watched last.

It’s just frustrating. One time my dad fixed a water heater by routing it’s pressure release pipe into the basement floor. Not under the floor, on it. Out of sight, out of mind. Doesn’t matter that it’s releasing pressure every minute and possibly a danger to the family.

One time the shower’s knob fell off (I was at college) and my mom just kinda sighed and went “oh dang it” and just.... left it running all night?

 

[Kubash16]

It would have been kind of cool to have had just one parent who knew things.
.

I completely understand this.

 

[littleoc]

My mom knows one thing. Numbers.

Not exactly. She is a great baker. Just had to stop, because she couldn’t stand anymore. It was sad.


My dad used to be a mechanic. He owned his own place for a bit. Nearly got arrested. I was too young at the time to understand why, and I haven’t asked. Probably fraud. Or him being high as a kite.

He tricked my mom after their divorce. Somehow he convinced her that she was too poor to go to any other man for car trouble. So my mom would go to his house with her car and let him fix it, despite the legality of it being SUPER questionable.

My mom’s car developed an oil leak. She panicked because she didn’t want to go back to my dad. So she just.. ignored it. For forever. Until finally my brother-in-law was like “um, your ex husband shoved in the wrong size oil filter. Probably to force you to need more car help.”

I mean.... no offense intended whatsoever but how does a situation like this even happen?

Sorry, I’m still getting used to the idea that something’s seriously up with my mom. Mental illnesses mixed with weird childhood.