General Combat Ptsd: The Game Of Excuses And Denial

[Prettysmile]

The truth, is that their significant other just isn't capable of having a healthy relationship. And if they don't pick up the phone for the person they supposedly love for two weeks in a row, chances are, they aren't capable of wanting to work on their problems, either. Hence the "denial" aspect of Army Brat's initial post.

So true it hurts.

 

[JHBarron]

So I really like your post to warn people like you said, who come on and want to cure a sufferer. I think there should be more talk about how terrible it is when you can't and it is not your fault, it's not the sufferers fault, it's that PTSD is a huge monster.

A friend of mine returned from Afghanistan after a 2 yr deployment. I felt intense disappointment and frustration when he did not communicate with me or spend time with me as I expected over the last 2 years. I would ask myself "Why am I so attached to being there for him and feeling this pain?" What I discovered was how co-dependent I was. This is behavior I learned unconsciously from childhood issues. After working on my own issues, I now can be there for him as a friend and not breakdown with heartache. He is still very dear to me and I am grateful to learn about PTSD (thanks to this website and forum). It helps him to know that someone outside of the military is educated on PTSD. I also learned it is ok to love him and move on to have a healthier relationship that will satisfy me with love, attention, and intimacy both sexually as well as emotionally.

Something I offer for anyone suffering as a carer - "the world outside of yourself often reflects the world inside yourself." Just something to explore safely with a trusted friend or therapist to help you explore some very painful feelings that you might be avoiding. I did and feel better today about myself and my friend. All my best to you in your journey.

 

[ISupportHer]

Something I offer for anyone suffering as a carer - "the world outside of yourself often reflects the world inside yourself." Just something to explore safely with a trusted friend or therapist to help you explore some very painful feelings that you might be avoiding. I did and feel better today about myself and my friend. All my best to you in your journey.

I have said many times here that part of what draws me to the forum is that you never know when some statement or kernal of truth will be waiting for you. Something to utilize in your own life. This are those words of truth for ME today!

I do have an awareness that supporters need to look at how the fit in. Not just look at the sufferer. This says that better than I ever have.

Thanks!

ISH

 

[hmindy34]

I was glad to find this thread. It's extremely helpful to me to read anything I can about Combat PTSD.

I've tried to put myself in my husband's shoes and I really have no idea. I wish everyday for him to tell me how he feels about anything but nothing.

This thread was a huge eye opener. I look forward to reading more because it's really helping me learn how to help him.

 

[Rick A.]

hmindy34 ... from my personal experience ... the only advice I can give is ... Don't leave him in 'the dark' (like my ex did). When he gets 'twitchy' or overwhelmed (I call it the 'rabbit hole') ... rub his back ... say nothing, ask nothing ... just rub his back. The woman that is now in my life (4 years running) has watched me have 'flashbacks, intrusions' and her love and compassion 'blows me away' and never has pushed me away. In this new chapter in my LIFE ... I'm so blessed to have her 'cover my six'. PTSD is a brutal demon that can take over your whole world. May peace be with you.
'Those that see war, will always see'