Combat vs. Civilian Life

[JarHed]

I find Anthony's post interesting in the part where you talk about it being 9 years since your last deployment and how you would probably slip right back into the military mindset in a week. Things do change with time, all things. But I can tell you that even after more than 40 years it wouldn't take much for me to fall right into step with what I used to do if it were necessary.

Even though it's been that long there will always be a part of me that's ready to go. I think that becomes entwined in your soul and becomes a part of who you are in a defining sort of way. Perhaps that's part of the reason that PTSD is a lifetime condition. As always just an opinion and observation.

Jar

 

[Tim Cake]

I find Anthony's post interesting in the part where you talk about it being 9 years since your last deployment and how you would probably slip right back into the military mindset in a week. Things do change with time, all things. But I can tell you that even after more than 40 years it wouldn't take much for me to fall right into step with what I used to do if it were necessary.

Even though it's been that long there will always be a part of me that's ready to go. I think that becomes entwined in your soul and becomes a part of who you are in a defining sort of way. Perhaps that's part of the reason that PTSD is a lifetime condition. As always just an opinion and observation.

Jar

The indoctrination-induced "military mindset" seems to be a lifetime condition (this especially applies to me after 34 years in uniform). I live in the country by choice and never fail to meet up with other vets when I visit the small towns near my ranch.The walk, talk and general demeanor seems to draw us together.

"Birds of a feather flock together" seems to ring true with combat vets...

 

[tho9900]

I made it like 10 minutes into the Hurt Locker.. ya hollywood bullshit... but when I saw the three legged cat limping across the busy Baghdad street it brought me down to the 3rd level of hell it seemed... stupid huh? took everything Joany (my friend) had to steer me away from that... awesome friend by the way even tho I haven't talked about her much yet...

Ya.... I still have it all... like my post when Stan drowned... once it sunk in what was happening I don't remember much.. it was like a slowmo movie... everything was calculated, I was ordering the old man stand down I couldn't deal with two casualties at once etc... interesting phenomena.. after 3 short months of boot camp, 3 months of Medic training, 30 yrs pass by and I still have it all in me no matter how civvie I try to be...I don't remember shit about algebra from high school/college even tho I took three yrs of it... just odd when you think about it, conditioning works I guess..

Sometimes I resent it.. sometimes I feel like the luckiest man alive because of it.. double edged sword it seems..

 

[tho9900]

It looks like our boys and girls will be heading across the border to Syria next, what do you reckon.

Ya there is a vacuum left after Iraq, and Afghanistan isnt as publicized anymore.. politicians have to fill it with something.. specially with elections coming up in the US...

 

[Anglesachse]

.............It looks like our boys and girls will be heading across the border to Syria next, what do you reckon.

Dont count on us lot.

Were to busy covering security for the f*cking olympics, and cutting the MOD budget. At this rate we would have to f*cking walk there, and buy the kit needed local.

 

[Red1]

Combat vs. Civilian Life

Even today I can relate to the movie, The Hurt Locker, especially the ending of the movie where he is standing in the supermarket and the biggest decision is now what cereal to choose for breakfast. Whilst it is a movie, the writers got it bang on the money IMHO, being that the overwhelming desire to return to a combat zone where you know there are vastly more important issues at hand, of which you can assist in some small way, whether the war is a total concoction or not, its about our mates, about saving lives and keeping alive other soldiers, regardless of the politics.

I actually still dwell on this every now and then, and even nearly 9 years after my last deployment, I still feel of more significance from the feelings associated to being within a combat zone and the decisions we make daily compared to going to the local shopping mall and wonder what pair of jeans I need to buy from this massive range.

I listened to a lot of older vets who told me that some things just need time, and nothing you do about them will change much without it, and I can totally understand what they said nearly 9 years after my last one, and I can see a shift back towards being more civilian oriented than military, though at the same time, I know I would slip back into that military role within a week if needed... which I do find scary at times.

I am actually back to accepting that a choice of jeans is actually an important decision in my life again now, as operational zones is behind me. Be interesting to see what I feel and think when 20 years comes around from my last deployment. Will it all just be a spec in my past?

I struggle with this almost daily. Sometimes Ill be out at the store buying groceries or something just as mundane and I just want to f*cking scream because I feel so RIDICULOUS. I think "what the f*ck am I doing here? what kind of mickey mouse bullshit is this? Then I get angry and have to get the f*ck out of there.

Sometimes I just feel lost in the civilian world.

 

[tho9900]

I gotta rant about a 19 yr old part time employ we have I am not gonna start... said in another thread,,, u feel entitled to what? what have you done with our life? ya you are smart but...

you have to earn the right to feel entitled... and there are those in my dept that have military or not that undersand....

just dont come up in my face talking it isnt fair cuz I will tell u what isnt fair... what isnt fair is some of us earned it you havent yet you azz.....

 

[JarHed]

Sometimes I just feel lost in the civilian world.

I still feel that way sometimes. I often tried to apply what I learned in the Marines about loyalty and doing what ever needed to be done to jobs that I've had. It just really never worked. It's my template for living but not to most other people.

It's true what Anthony says about it taking some time. But as well as that, you've been imprinted with a 'do what need to be done' mindset. You just have to figure out how best to apply it so that it benefits you back in this 'world'.

Jar