Completely Lost

[Punky143]

I'm quite certain that I've lost it. I trust no one, and depend on no one. The last of the few friends I had who also works with me, quit. She is the only person that does the job without going into details and without her, I'm going to be lost at work. As far as the friendship we built, that is now shattered unfortunately. I cannot comprehend how she can just jump ship and leave me. No one will understand the complexity of the situation and how much of it is weaved in the master web. So now it's just "us". Sometimes I feel so numb but other times completely opposite and it can happen so quickly. I wish I had that one person to talk to who would both love and like me unconditionally. I'm truly happy for those out there who have found those type.

 

[WillyKat]

Trust issues are common with PTSD. In some ways, we have been trained in not trusting. I'll use myself as an example. Molested at age ~6, threatened almost daily for the next three years to keep quiet. Despite obvious signs (to me) that something was really wrong, no one really took the time to figure out what was going on. A small child like that depends on parents, siblings, teachers for protection, and when its not forthcoming you lose trust and that sticks with you for a long time. In my case, the better part of 50 years.

It takes time for learn how to trust others, to go against all that learning, but it is possible.

You can trust folks on this forum, and to your credit, you're opening up to us already. That in itself is a sign of trust.

 

[Punky143]

Trust issues are common with PTSD. In some ways, we have been trained in not trusting. I'll use myself...

Thank you. I'm good with writing but when it comes to speaking forget it. Long day, wish I was in bed under the covers alone.

 

[WillyKat]

I have trouble speaking about it too. That is also very common.