Completly Disregulated

[Punky143]

Perhaps an anxiety attack or extreme disassociation? Doesn't matter, either one in this ongoing situation sucks. This one lady at work sucks. She's a trigger. She is the control freak and always has been. Always right, her story is always better and only she works the hardest. According to her, if it wasn't for her, the boss wouldn't know a thing. Well, she's wrong. Up until now she's stayed out if my work. I'm not so fortunate. I can't deal with her. Its a never winning battle and don't you worry because my douchbag boss will side with her no matter what. Of the interactions I've unfortunately had, I don't recall what I've said and end up walking away. Well today she demanded I stop and told me turn around and not walk away when speaking with the person. Mind I add, she is not the boss or any part of management. In fact, both her and I hold the same position. She treats me like shit and it sends me into my hell for the rest of the day.

 

[Jen93]

If your boss is no help, I'd get the union or human resources involved. That's what they're there for.

 

[Friday]

So if you're triggering, she's not actually the problem, then, right? She's a pretty normal person doing pretty normal things... & you're responding to a fairly normal event happening now as if it was the past, seeing shit that isn't real, and reacting off the charts? One of those of course you can't deal with her if you're triggered... You're dealing with the trigger, instead of her, & instead of the situation at hand?

That's a really, really hard one. It's a lot easier when there's no direct trauma schtuff (trigger/stressor) mixed up, but the person themselves is the problem, and it's 'just' stressful dealing with them, as symptoms start ramping up under stress. Because that's just a matter of problem solving. (Venting stress, etc. to keep things even keel on our end, whilst sorting out the problems they're creating, or being.) Not sorting out what's real & what's not real.

Do you have a therapist to help you break down the pieces that are triggering you, and where your reactions are totally in line with the present & where they're mixed up with the past?

 

[Amalia]

I`ve had this in literally every job I`ve had. Believe it or not it`s a combination of jealousy, inadequacy and poor management - on her part, and on the part of your boss.

So yes, go to the union.
And ensure that you have ticked all the boxes before even hinting that you might have contacted a union - it makes bosses very nervous and to be frank is none of their business. Follow all their advice so if you do have to take things further and let your company know you have done everything to rectify the situation.

Them go to your doctor. Talk about the stress you are under, get it evidenced - prescription if possible - whether you take the meds or not, the fact that the effects have been medically documented go in your favour. And if needs be, take time off. Nothing your work can say about it.

Finally, document in detail, every day, everything that happens. Tell your doctor that you (possibly?) disassociate when you try to confront this bitch. Talk about possible solutions and what`s legally possible with your union - before letting your company know that you have one;).

Remember that there are only two origins of negative behaviour : fear and love.
That lady sounds like she`s been defecating herself in the former for the last god knows how long. And she`s very unhappy.
Keep that in mind.

Best of luck.

 

[Punky143]

Thank you everyone. I needed some validation right now

 

[Marlene Bodner]

Perhaps an anxiety attack or extreme disassociation? Doesn't matter, either one in this ongoing situat...

Put up some definite boundaries. She's insecure and living in fear like all of us. Why don't you suggest a cup of coffee after work and stand up for yourself with kindness. Write down what you want to say and practice it in front of a mirror. Your confidence level will project loud and clear. It should change the dynamics of your working relationship. Practice, practice, practice. Good Luck

 

[Punky143]

No matter how hard I try or what I say, it won't be good enough. Its harassment at this point and she preys on the weak and that is what I am right now. I have FMLA and she has complaints against her from others. It is true, she is insecure and power hungry. I know what's right and what's wrong but it doesn't make it any easier. She mind f with me just like everyone else did in the past. Let her, I'm allowing it to happen. I just don't get any work done once she crosses my path. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Migraine already set in.

 

[Marlene Bodner]

Kill her with kindness and then walk away. Only if you let her take your energy ,she wins hands down. I had a boss who I called on his shit and yes I got HR involved. You win if you take your power back. I was once told by a dear friend grow a set of b.....s and stand up for yourself. Easier said than done I know but the rewards are bounty less. The world is full of hate and negativity but you can break the glass ceiling of all this. Good luck with your transformation.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Perhaps an anxiety attack or extreme disassociation? Doesn't matter, either one in this ongoing situat...

Oh boy, I wish I could give you advice on how to deal with such people. I had several people who behaved like that at work. They demand respect at work and they are not worth it, not worthy of getting respect, especially if they act in such childish ways.

What you are describing is aggressive behavior and there is no place for such behavior at work.

People attempt to get into your space any way they can, and at work they use workplace matters to do so, but it really is a personal issue when someone acts like that.

Next time she acts like that tell her that you cant talk right then and there, that you have an important appointment with your lawyer. Maybe she will get that hint, lol.