Sufferer Complex Ptsd For 20 Years

[Thisgirl]

After a very demanding corporate job and doing therapy and emdr on the weekends, I gave it up and moved to the country. My stress was so high and flashbacks got bad, for the first time in my life I tried to commit suicide. Something that I never thought I'd do. And after that, I also had to go on depression medication for the first time.

It is very difficult to hear that I may be bipolar. I've had doctors/therapist tell me I am, and other doctors/therapists say that it is purely trauma/ptsd. It is in fact, just a label but it scares me. To me, being bipolar is like turning out like my family. From 11 years old I tried to keep my distance from my mom's bizarre behavior, and keep my sanity, always saying 'I don't want to turn out like them'. I've been in therapy for 10 years and have done so much work on myself, I was doing so well, its disheartening.

Something like half of those with bipolar also had childhood abuse. I'm trying to figure out if bipolar and cptsd diagnosis always go together. Or maybe there are doctors out there over-diagnosing trauma.

Thanks for listening.

 

[chant2012]

Hello and welcome. You're not alone. Also have C-PTSD for a long time. I'm 25 now. You'll find support here.

 

[Cabinfever]

Welcome! I'm new to this site myself.
Many of the symptoms of complex PTSD overlap with the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, but they are definitely two distinct illnesses. Once upon a time I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but in my case, it turned out to be PTSD and ADHD. One thing that really clarified the difference for me between CPTSD/PTSD and Bipolar was reading the book "The Body Keeps the Score". I kept thinking, "that's me! that's me!" during all of the case examples... things that I used to think were symptoms of my so-called bipolar, turned-out to be symptoms of chronic stress. It's a great book, if you have the time.

Good luck to you.

 

[intothelight]

@Thisgirl Welcome to the forum! :)

Many times there is an alphabet soup of diagnoses before what is truly the issue is settled upon. It isn't so much what you are labeled with, but what therapies and/or lifestyle choices you find are the most beneficial. There is a lot of information here about therapy and symptom management and I hope you find it helpful.

 

[Thisgirl]

Thank you. It makes me feel so much better to know there are people out there that know what I'm going through. I'm glad to be here.

 

[Thisgirl]

I have seen a great new T and P and it is clear to them, and now me too, that I am not bipolar.
There are so many bad therapist out there, including those who claim to be trauma experts, and try to diagnosis in 10 minutes. It is just mind boggling.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Welcome to the forum @Thisgirl! Keep in mind that mental disorders are just a label that describes what's already there. I know it's scary; I fought my PTSD diagnosis for a long time. I said that my past couldn't of been as bad as war. It was, a warzone, but at the time didn't see it that way.

Anyway, if you have Bipolar, that doesn't mean you "turn out like___". You're choices later determine how you "turn out".

Also remember that many mental disorders have many cross over symptoms of other mental disorders.

Either way, you will find a ton of support here! Glad you are here! :hug:s

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :hug: