Sufferer Complex Ptsd

[ladee]

I too was expected to understand what to do as a child when the fighting started. I have felt like an adult my whole life, yet and inept one. Blundering and faking my way thru so much... so happy you are here. This is an awesome place to be.

 

[Hurting]

I too was expected to understand what to do as a child when the fighting started. I have felt like an adul...

Glad to find you here too. Sometimes it feels like it sounds trivial, but it has defined my whole life. I feel responsible for everyone's happiness. Gnats a large burden. I feel so guilty if I put my needs first, even if it's trivial. I think we could be great friends if we're not to afraid.

 

[ladee]

I accept that invitation...I am no longer afraid to be more vulnerable. that is progress. So I also no longer feel guilty for not being able to fix the world... thru a lot of work, that has turned into taking care of me and others benefiting from it... weird how that works...:happy:. So onward on our journey, making new friends who understand, accept us for who and what we are at any given moment. Looking forward to our sharing.... happy you are here, and you CAN write some beautiful things.... you shared some of it with us... that took courage and I appreciate the risk you took. sending :hug:'s if you accept them. It's ok if you are not ready for that.... just speak your truth and I will respect that....

 

[intothelight]

@Hurting Welcome! :)

PTSD is tough on relationships and honestly the more you both know about it and can communicate the better. I know there were things my husband did that triggered me that had nothing to do with anything he was doing wrong (he is male and was cutting vegetables), that caused a flashback to my ex. Not his problem, mine, and I had to work through so we could both live in the framework of "our" marriage and not allow the past to color the present.

 

[Hurting]

I accept that invitation...I am no longer afraid to be more vulnerable. that is progress. So I also no lon...

Thank you so much! It means a lot to me. So hard to trust, but I suppose if anyone chose to be on this blog they must have some empathy. It's hard for people who don't have this problem to understand. I'm really glad that you have made progress. It gives mine hope.

 

[ladee]

I understand about the trust issue as probably every one here does. But one of the reasons I like these forums, for the most part, 99.99% of the time, it is always supportive. I can be reading a thread just because I want to, and learn something... I hope to always be a work in progress. So, we will just start this part of our journey and hopefully learn and have some fun along the way....regardless of what brought us here... what we do with the support and new knowledge is up to us... baby steps or giant strides... matters not.... we just don't want to miss the train for a better view.... :hug:'s and a better tomorrow, or just a tomorrow will do....

 

[Hurting]

I understand about the trust issue as probably every one here does. But one of the reasons I like these fo...

You are right. I do hope to make progress. Do you have any idea why it wasn't until many years later that my major symptoms started showing up? I've had issues as long as I can remember, just didn't know at the time. It wasn't until much, much later that it really started making my life really miserable. The only thing I can think of is that I have taken care of other people all of my life. Now I have no-one to take care of except myself. Do you know if that happens to anyone else?
.

 

[void]

Trying to find support from others who have Complex PTSD. Stemmed from childhood, first marriage to a p...

Many people with C-PTSD unknowingly end up in a marriage(like your first) which has the same type of psychological dynamics as they experienced with their abuser.
Was your mother also a Psychopath?...like your first husband?

 

[Hurting]

No, but I'm confused as to why she told mine she loved me all the time, even told me that she was afraid that she loved me more than she loved God and that want right, and at the same time always made made feel so bad. She said things like I had a big nose, I had thick ankles like my father's sister, I had no pride like my father's side of the family, that she was so disappointed inn me and would never get over it and would carry out to her grave if I ever did anything wrong. Once when I was grown and married, she got mad at me and told me she would never come back to visit but wouldn't tell me what I had done wrong. I never found out. I ask wonder what I did wrong to this very day, but she passed away several years ago. I took care of her for six years after she had a devastating stroke. I moved from my house to theirs doo that mangy daddy wouldn't have to move. I drove150 miles to and from work every day. So confused.

 

[void]

No, but I'm confused as to why she told mine she loved me all the time, even told me that she was afraid...

All those things she told you sound like pure manipulation...she wanted to control you, always keep you off-balance.
It is sad that she used and abused you like that.
You did not deserve any of it.