Confessing To My Therapist

[Ocimow]

Because it was very poorly worded, I was sleep deprived, and didn't think it through properly. And generally when people ask more questions about what I meant, I'll try to explain it in such a way, so that hopefully the final understanding is somewhat aligned with what you said about micro traumas impacting the severity of PTSD, which is what I originally meant, but obviously missed by a mile.

And yes, I suppose wording it as though it was factual wasn't the most intelligent thing I've ever done, although I know what I meant, and sometimes I forget that the previous 'working out' isn't visible to others.

 

[Ehu]

With Virtual Earth, Google Earth, etc. privacy has a whole new meaning. I can get my pc and see a bird's eye view of my own house with my truck parked in the driveway. So, there is no such thing as privacy anymore. That said, I agree with those who say "you don't have to tell everything you know", there wouldn't be enough time to "confess" every last thing you ever did in life that you aren't proud of. I agree that sometimes it's better to have respect for who you might hurt by telling something just to help yourself feel better. I would also look into why I feel I must confess and why I must be "perfectly honest" at all times with my therapist. It seems more human to "circle the water hole" than jump right in with possibly damaging confessions.

 

[Egafu]

Where are the adorable avatars coming from? Somebody is a very creative, exciting artist!

 

[Veguhiv]

They're automatic random shapes created on the fly upon a post by post basis.

 

[Uget]

Wow. I have the very opposite issue - I would be terrified to run into my T or see her in any other context, even seeing her name in the telephone book would freak me the hell out!

I really don't know what to advise, because I can see both sides of it. Maybe it's projection when I think it would be better to NOT know (i.e. don't tell your T - I can only imagine if I was told that by another person I'd be terrified and feel terribly violated). But then, like others have said - it's about honesty and about change and your T is probably trained to deal with it.

Will you be honest with him if you tell him and he asks HOW you came to know where he lives? This might help in avoid it happening with another client. I know many Ts have PO box addresses, and go to great lengths to protect their privacy and that of their family's, often not going in the telephone book etc.

Far out, I really am having a pretty big reaction to the concept of this situation .. it says more about me than you OP of course. I think I'm just feeling horrified at ht mere thought of my doing anything like that, let alone contemplating TELLING my T - that is pretty brave of you.

Maybe you could 'test' the waters - say you are on an online forum or you read something online about how sometimes clients have stalked their Ts, and you wondered if that had ever happened to him, and is it something he would worry about? The drawback of this though, would be if he reacts very negatively and you won't feel you can say you have done it to him.

Although, driving past his house is waaaaaaaay different to standing outside his house in the dark and peering in the windows …

I had a friend who when at the heights of her BPD, she sent her psychiatrist razor blades in the mail - to his private home address - with her blood all over the paper inside … she also phoned his electric company and got his power disconnected … yet she was honest with him and he still saw her.

 

[Gigih]

Where are the adorable avatars coming from? Somebody is a very creative, exciting artist!

I love your one here - I want that one for my actual username!!!!!! love it - very cute!

 

[Gigih]

I made that rather 'unfounded' statement because it seems to be a common misconception that you have to be shit-scared-for-your-life or raped/beaten within an inch of existence for PTSD to occur, but compound traumas (which I agree, is a more appropriate term than micro-traumas) don't all have to be in that category to lead up to PTSD.

It comes down to semantics - you cannot be diagnosed with PTSD nor can you 'have' PTSD from a series of compound trauma's that are not life threatening in some way. That part is a fact, baed on diagnostic criteria.

(Of course, though - if you are being very black and white about it, the use of the word 'trauma' could be argued as being inappropriate for any event other than life threatening events, since at the most black and white definition and understanding of the meaning of the word, it is only 'trauma' if the event is life threatening).

HOWEVER, that does not mean that you cannot feel traumatized, by a series of micro trauma's over a course of a lifetime. Exaample: you cannot have PTSD over a relationship betrayal - if you were to walk into your house and find your spouse in bed having sex with your best friend you cannot have PTSD due to that. But, it would for a lot of people, feel pretty traumatizing to have walked in on that situation (even though it's not 'true' / 'diagnostic' if that makes sense!).

Trauma in the diagnostic sense, limits the meaning of what constitutes diagnostic trauma - it has to be a life threatening event and / or involve sexual or physical violence or the threat of such. But I think most people acknowledge / accept that it's possible to have experienced trauma (in a non diagnostic way; talking about pure sensations and feelings here) from prolonged emotional abuse.