Confused And Worried

[Jimmy1]

Change of medication can sometimes have worse side effects than the benefits (speaking from personal experience). I once changed from Zoloft to Lexapro. I had to wean totally off the Zoloft first. I was getting to the stage where I wanted to kill myself. Lucky my son lived with me at the time. So I went back on to Zoloft which required weaning off the Lexapro.

So you see, its a double edged sword sometimes.

Changing a psych can be a great help if he thinks this one is no good. I have a psychiatrist and a therapist. The psych just does the drug prescriptions. My therapist I have had since 07 and knows more about me than I do. lol.

To describe it to you better, if the medication is not working, he will have so many flashbacks and night horrors or nightmares if you want to call it that, that his brain basically shuts down as a defence mechanism. He becomes numb.
Its the only way to deal with it, unfortunately it traps in all emotions, even love and happiness. You can't have one without the other. You might catch glimpses. But if he pops that cork on the emotion bottle, he will be an angry, upset blubbering wreck. Once he is on the right medication and seeing the right therapist, they will eventually open that lid in a safe environment and deal with what comes out.

Do you understand what I am trying to say???

He does love you, he just can't show it at the moment.

Jimmy

P.S. Once again, this is just my opinion. I am not a trained psych. Just a fellow veteran

 

[Sarg]

You're moving in the right direction!!!! Adjusting his meds is very important. Soon you'll find that right dosage and combination and things will "lift" a bit. You have to know that emotional numbing is part and parcel of PTSD. It's our defense mechanism for the horror of it all. A normal person can take only so much before we just start shutting down.

I am very ashamed to say I rarely told my wife I loved her. For some unknown reason, I was very uncomfortable saying it. Instead, I tried to show I loved her in small ways. Simple ways. She knew I loved her, we couldn't have gone through what we did had I not.

So, perhaps, look for small things, for now. A gesture. A word.

Keep the faith.

Sarg

 

[Sarg]

Sorry, Jimmy, didn't see your post until I hit the post button.

What he said!

Sarg

 

[Jimmy1]

Its fine mate. The more she can see that we are all the same. The more positive it will be for her.
Thanks for supporting her

Jimmy

 

[willis williams]

I don't show any emotion on the meds I'm on now. When I'm off the meds I drink to numb which isn't good but I show emotion. The meds can be to much of a good thing but off can be a really bad thing for me. Like told above I may not say I love you enough or with conviction but I always make sure I take care of my fiance and do nice things when the mood hits. Most times I fake it to make her happy but just not feeling it. But I do love her as much as I am capable at this point in my life. With therapy I hope to one day make her the center of my life because she is so good to me. So even though the emotions are switch off right now I know inside Iam in love with her. I'm just having to learn how to show it again. If Seren were typing right now to you she would tell you that I have been on emotional shutdown for 3 1/2 months but when I'm here it is worth it atleast that is what she said this mourning. Hang in there it does get better.

 

[amanda winter]

Things are just complicated. He doesn't speak about what his triggers are or what I can do to help with them. Just curious with PTSD, is sleeping around happen? Or at least searching for someone that can make him feel?

 

[Jimmy1]

Hey Tankwife, I did not sleep around while I was married. I think your morals stay attached. Once I separated from my ex-wife I became a bit of a tom cat.
With regards to his triggers, depending how far along in his therapy he is, he may not even know what his triggers are.
As you mentioned, his last psych was down playing his symptoms. That happened to me too. The Army psych said I had family problems not PTSD, and the MD's 9 years ago though I had thyroid probs.
Has he found a new psych???? If so, give it a bit of time and he will eventually work out what triggers him and what does not. As long as you remember that you can't wrap him up in cotton wool. He has to work through his traumas and learn how to handle himself when something triggers him off.

Hope this make sense.

Jimmy.

P.S. Have you become a member of the other Forum yet. The PTSD Forum. There is a great supporters section there and a lot of people to help.

 

[wife of]

Hey there Tankwife,I know your confusion and fear well,sometimes its just a case of waiting it out,be it hours,days or weeks,you just have to keep trying to get him to engage,Dont ever feel lonely,lots of us here in the same boat,I'm only on sporadicaly just now as my darling man is realy going through the mill,but I you need someone to chat to try dropping me a message and I'll pick up daily,Hang in there missus......Sue.

 

[amanda winter]

I am truly trying sue. At Aussie, no he hasn't found a new therapist yet. He feels that they are all going to be the same. I try to get him to look for others. But so far nothing.

 

[Sarg]

Hang in there, Tankwife, you're a great lady, fighting for your man.

Sarg

 

[wife of]

Glad to hear it petal,Keep the faith,grow a hide of a rhino and talk,talk,talk,wether it be to family, friends, therapists or on here...Sue...

 

[amanda winter]

I am glad I found people to talk to on here. Because most of my friends don't understand PTSD and they just think he is being an ahole. They want to try to convince me to just leave him but they don't understand that alot of this stuff we are going through is the PTSD.