Step wrote:
We actually ended up moving back to his hometown because of all of the drama my family has started. My family just thinks he is being a jerk and they feel that i should just drop him. But they really don't understand that PTSD isn't something that can be fixed over night. And it is so difficult to make them understand that half the stuff he does, isn't really him but his PTSD.
Hey TW, I read this post and it caught my interest.
You have moved because people don't understand, mainly, your family don't understand. Can I ask if you have given them any info. You see, people are weird creatures of habit and don't like change.
Do you remember when the first few people died of AIDS. The world blamed homosexuals and people thought they could catch it by touching their hands. Denzel Washington portrayed this well in Philadelphia. Once they realised it had to start somewhere and it can only be caught by exchanging bodily fluids, and this can be now from blood transfusions etc, people have calmed down. There is not as much 'Kill the Gay Guy' going on.
You see, PTSD especially combat related PTSD has actually been around since people started fighting years and years ago. You could almost say PTSD could have been around since caveman days. A natural disaster where lots of people were killed, or even another cave making war. The problem is with the acceptance in the community.
If people are unaware of it, they can be scared of it and want it to go away.
What if your man had 'Tourette's Syndrome'. Your family might look at hims strange firstly with his involuntary movements and occasional vocal outburst, but once they know the man, they will accept him. Because Tourette Syndrome is accepted by most people.
Anyway, so you were right, it is not the 'Old Him', its the PTSD. In reality, its the 'New Him' and once he gets his moods in check and manages his depression, anxiety and stress, you will get to see the glimpses of the lovely man inside.
Once the stigma of PTSD is over, people will be very readily accepting.
Lets have a look at a lady who is raped and bashed to within an inch of her life. She has PTSD.
People who know her say, 'Poor lady, its amazing she survived. No wonder she acts like she does, no wonder she has anger outbursts, no wonder she keeps her house locked'
You see, thats fine. But a serviceman or woman who has returned from the war and survived nearly being blown to bits and has seen horrors that would make anyone cringe, is not. They do not understand.
So TW, at the end of this long post I will say congratulations for standing by your man.
As long as he seeks therapy and follows the guidelines of his medication and his psych's, he will get better.
And the longer you keep learning about the disorder, the easier (well, I won't say easier), the more you will understand about your new man.
Hope I have helped.
Jimmy:tup:
