Sexual Assault Confused. was i assaulted? tell me below

[bento]

@bento - I wasn’t even close to talking about hypnosis. What you’re doin...

No my suggestion isn't mild. IMHO, the stated memories seem dysfunctional enough to
warrant concern. But again, I think it's important to go to a trained professional to seek
answers.

I assumed wrongly you might have meant some kind of hypnotic suggestion because
I don't know of how memories can be planted into someone's mind otherwise.
And again, I have not stated a specific scenario with any details, only that it sounds like
it COULD be abuse and again (and again) that it is important for OP to seek out the qualified
opinion and help of a professional mental health counselor or psychologist to determine
what is going on with the conscious memories that she has stated here.

 

[Suzetig]

Have you got that the OP hasn't actually been diagnosed with schizophrenia - in fact he's categorically been told he doesn't have it and refuses to accept this? Everything the OP describes has a benign explanation particularly in someone with an untypical processing style such as is present in autism. It's far healthier to look for and accept benign reasoning in the absence of any evidence of sexual abuse.

There's a growing body is research that suggests people with autism experience the world, and every day interactions or happenings as traumatic - it can be part of the processing style. There is also a lot of crossover in signs of autism and signs of abuse - that doesn't mean they are one and the same thing or that trauma leads to autism.

Or there may have been abuse - we simply don't know. You're suggesting to a vulnerable teenager, with autism that the best explanation is that they have been abused. Not only is it not the best, it's only one of a range - adding it all up and coming to a conclusion that could tear him and his family apart with absolutely no evidence of abuse happening.

I don't tend to subscribe to a medical model of mental health and folk who know me know I tend to push against prescriptive diagnosis and categorisation - so please don't push the "most mental health diagnosis are actually due to childhood abuse" argument. A vast number of adults and experienced some form of abuse in childhood, a vast number of adults have poor mental health - that doesn't mean all have experienced abuse. The OP is still a child, with a lot of cognitive and emotional development ahead of them and they may feel very differently about their memories and concerns into adulthood.

 

[Super CoolTM]

Have you got that the OP hasn't actually been diagnosed with schizophrenia - in fact he's categorically...

To be fair, my doctor was bad and they were misdiagnosing/giving me incorrect medications, and my new doctor has recently confirmed I do have it. Thank you for your input, I appreciate your point of view! It's been hard, I've been so groggy and confused, sometimes I need someone to tell me sometimes what I do is incorrect. Although I still think I was assaulted, I will do some more thinking and get some professional help. Best of wishes!

 

[Super CoolTM]

No my suggestion isn't mild. IMHO, the stated memories seem dysfunctional enough to
warrant concern. Bu...

Thank you for your input! I appreciate your point of view. Best of wishes

 

[bento]

@Suzetig

so please don't push the "most mental health diagnosis are actually due to childhood abuse" argument.

I'm not pushing anything here. I'm stating my opinion, which differs from yours, that in my
experience, people who have had "crazy" episodes have history of neglect, abuse, trauma
or witnessing these things. My opinion, my experience, only that. I was not referring to
all mental health issues. And again OP mentioned enough dysfunctional/abusive behavior
on part of parents as well as concern expressed by other family members to warrant.
concern in my opinion

Since OP mentioned incidents that happened in high school, I made the assumption that he
was not a child.

@Super CoolTM just to be clear, in case the previous multiple statements have not made
it so, it is very important to find someone you can talk to about what you do remember
currently and how these things make you feel. You may or may not have been abused.
I am not advocating that you confront anyone or assume anything or move out or do
anything precipitously. Only express your concerns to a trained mental health professional
that you have expressed here. I think they are worthy of being addressed in therapy.

You sound very articulate and intelligent. I wish you all the luck moving forward in therapy.

 

[bento]

Also @Super CoolTM, my apologies. I assumed, based on the weight issue that you
mentioned, that you were female. Duh! Dumb assumption, my bad.

 

[Super CoolTM]

Also @Super CoolTM, my apologies. I assumed, based on the weight issue that you
menti...

It's okay :D

 

[Super CoolTM]

@Suzetig


I'm not pushing anything here. I'm stating my opinion, which differs from...

Thanks, it's really warming to see people stand up for me. I am such a silent kid so sticking up for myself is hard. It's very confusing in my life right now and I really need some support. I will not use this site anymore though, so I do thank you for supporting me. Best of wishes

 

[bento]

Thanks, it's really warming to see people stand up for me. I am such a silent kid so sticking up f...

This site or this thread? I do hope it's the latter. You seem like you have found a group of
people on this site that genuinely care about you and want the best for you. Again, I would
like to reiterate that you appear to be a very articulate and intelligent person. I wish you the
best of luck with all your future endeavors! :)

 

[Super CoolTM]

This site or this thread? I do hope it's the latter. You seem like you have found a group of
people on...

Site. One of my biggest weaknesses is how sensitive I am. I came here hoping for support, and I admit I was a complete fool to believe I would get support 100%. This is the real world, but at the end f the day I still have a hard time coping with invalidation, because my self doubt is so strong, I will believe what negative people say, and I will be confused with what my gut says and what others say.
I was abused at a young age (from someone at school) so I grew up with "other people know best" because I was gaslighted.
Thank you for calling me smart, and I hope you have a good day.

 

[bento]

Site. One of my biggest weaknesses is how sensitive I am.

That's not a weakness. It's usually a sign of creativity and high intelligence. Not that it
doesn't cause difficulties as it makes one more reactive.

About getting 100% support, you're not a fool. We all want that. But, since we all have
such different personalities, opinions and experiences, it doesn't really happen. At least
not 100%. And that totally sucks when we're feeling low or dysregulated (or both)

I read back thru some of your posts, because I sensed the larger backstory and because
I was bugged at myself for assuming you were cis. I think a lot of the strong opinions
expressed have to do with the fact that you're a junior in HS and need access to health care
schooling, food and shelter. That you don't make any rash decisions to jeopardize
any of that. Which makes total sense.

I hope you're aware of the huge amount of support available in the trans community, and
if you do decide to take a break from this site, that you reach out for support there or
somewhere else.

I do have a few other thoughts to share about the issues surrounding being the
"identified patient" in a dysfunctional family, SA and dysregulation, and how basically
well meaning but unconscious people can be invasive of our boundaries and abusive.
They can be this way because it is all they experienced growing up but it can all be
terribly triggering being on the receiving end of their sh***y behavior. People with
poor boundaries and impulse control or those who shut down are often just overwhelmed
and afraid of being alone with their own demons.

I have more to add about the above, but don't know a succinct way to put it so I'll leave
off for now. Keep reaching out for support, it might not come to you in the most ideal
fashion, but it's there for you all the same. You sound like a very creative young man.
I wish you all the best. Keep believing in yourself no matter what.

 

[Super CoolTM]

That's not a weakness. It's usually a sign of creativity and high intelligence. Not that it
doesn't cau...

Thanks very much it means a lot to me <3