Relationship Confused

[Orchid1818]

Well 9 months ago my combat vet and I split up. He said he had anxiety and he thought it would be best that we weren't together. It's been 9 months and I have done alot of work on myself and past issues. Anyways we have been in contact and he called me. We talked on the phone for several hours just like how it used to be when we were together. He said he called bc he always thinks about me and was being "friendly." I got upset bc I didnt want to be just friends and threw down an ultimatum. Friends or nothing. Well that didnt do anything but push him away. Anyways he knows that I want to be with him and I miss him. He has said he will always be there for me if I ever need anything. I guess my question is was his reconnecting as a friendly person a way to come back? If so is it best to be friendly and move slow?

 

[Orchid1818]

I should note neither of us have dated anyone else since we split.

 

[Friday]

I guess my question is was his reconnecting as a friendly person a way to come back?

It’s clearly what you want... but I can’t think of any possible benefit in convincing yourself it’s what he wants (when his words and actions say otherwise; firstly by breaking up, and secondly when given a choice, chooses against). The opposite. If you’re setting your cap for someone who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, and embarking on attempting to win their affections & loyalties? It’s an entirely different thing than working through a hard time together with someone towards a mutually shared goal. The Chase -vs- Team Effort