Sexual Assault Confusing and distressing situation

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

Back when I was in an abusive relationship, my partner had a “friend” who joined her in abusing me, he raped me twice, different occasions.

The first time, I was at home and she had invited him to drink with us, so he was there, too. They were often together. I go to bed at some point, in hindsight I had been spiked and was really faded out. I lay there for (at least what felt like) a long time, and then I could feel them touching me, but I couldn’t really move or make sense of it properly, just hands and weight on me. At one point I knew it was male hands because his hands felt different, but I think I could feel both of theirs before then, and it was too much to understand at the time. Then I was in pain, and then I came to, hearing them having sex next to me.
The next morning I was confused but I know he raped me because I had pain and some blood. I think she had been groping me but I’m pretty sure I felt her on top of me, before him, so I don’t know. They both had a turn assaulting me and then had sex. I think he stopped raping me before he had an orgasm, because he had sex with her afterwards.

I was wondering if anyone can shed any light on why that could have happened? I struggle to get my head around why they went out of the way to involve me, when they could have just had sex with each-other. I see it as a screwed up foreplay thing for them, but I don’t know, I don’t know what I want to find out, I just don’t get it and it feels helpless to not have any ideas on what it was even for. What did they get out of it? (Potentially).

I know she watched him do it the first time, since she was there, makes me wonder if she watched the second time he did it. Keeps me up at night, sometimes. He really hurt me the second time.

 

[Rose White]

Idk if this is the kind of answer you are looking for but all apes display Machiavellian traits that tend toward sadism. Some humans don’t push back against these animalistic traits—generally we call them all kinds of things like evil and psychopathic. Some people are just terrible.

 

[Movingforward10]

I was wondering if anyone can shed any light on why that could have happened? I

I don't know if this helps, but trying to find sense in the senseless can be a difficult path to go down....

Why do people rape and assault? I think the only answer I have is: because they can.
Do they do it to excite themselves?
Do they do it because they simply don't care and lack empathy?
Do they do it because they enjoy inflicting pain and distress?
Do they enjoy the power?
maybe the answer is yes to all or none of that?


I think I prefer to remain confused about why people do the harm they do. Because not understanding their motives shows the immense difference between them and you. Being in their head and understanding them , for me, doesn't seem a friendly place to be. And maybe that is the way to switch the feeling of helplessness? You have power in not understanding them. It makes you a thoroughly decent human being. And they are the complete opposite.