Bipolar Constant ups and downs

[katurian]

I've been working really hard on developing the ability to make myself feel good. What's happening though are these constant ups and downs. So I'll be up for a week long period and then down for the next week. I feel like I'm doing something wrong or not working hard enough because this is happening.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Maybe just not focusing on the ups and downs. Just work on recovery and working through your trauma. If you don't do the work on your trauma, then I don't see how you could feel better. JMHO!!!

 

[katurian]

Maybe just not focusing on the ups and downs. Just work on recovery and working through your trauma. If...

I have been doing work on my trauma. To be honest that's not a very helpful suggestion because the issue is that despite doing work on it, I'm still feeling this way.

 

[joeylittle]

Do you know what starts the down cycle for you?

 

[katurian]

Do you know what starts the down cycle for you?

No. I know it sounds like I lack self-awareness but I honestly can't identify any triggers. It's like I'll be feeling really good for a period and then a switch will flip in my brain all of a sudden and I'll start thinking about killing myself. I wish I could identify a reason because then I could do something about it.

 

[joeylittle]

Try doing some daily logs, just of random moments and your mood. Write down what word best captures your mood, give it a rating from 1-10, and if you know where that mood is coming from. Note your sleep (hours and quality) and daily physical activity. If you take meds, log time you take them.

Sometimes there's a pattern we can't see til it's plotted. I know it probably sounds a little like a pain, but you might learn more.

 

[aut555]

Try doing some daily logs, just of random moments and your mood. Write down what word best captures...

Like that idea because we are a product of what meds, time, location, people we are around, or aren't around, sleep or none, self-medication, last therapy appointment, last time we exercised, yadda, yadda, yadda, got to write it down.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@katurian How long have you been working on your trauma? It also depends on how many traumas you've had because then it's each one that needs to be worked on indepantly. Also, you tend to get sicker when doing trauma work and it takes time...