General Constipation, having to spend lots of time in the bathroom

[blackemerald1]

The supermarkets here have psyllium husk. But if you cannot find it there try a pharmacy and they should be able to order it in. It is virtually tasteless.

I think I misunderstood what you meant by “sprinkle over“... because I associated it with water. I thought there was some invisible fibers, that did not have any taste (just like water) and you could sprinklers er over food which looked and tasted just the same after that. A genuinely silly thing to think, eh? Sometimes I am not very smart.

Yes - you can (and I do) put a teaspoon of it (psyllium husk) in water and then drink it down before it starts to set. Good option if you are wanting to quickly add fibre to your diet. Drink another glass of juice or water after you finish the first to ensure you have enough fluids because it will solidify in the gut.

Yes - you can sprinkle it over or in deserts etc. , (check it out online - search for psyllium husk recipes - an try them out.

Yes - the psyllium husk powder adopts the flavour of whatever you put with it but don't put too much in or it becomes too thick and difficult to manage! Less is more with this stuff!

Psyllium can be included in a lot of normal recipes and substituted in many others. So you did read correctly.

So.. for instance in the morning - having a half a teaspoon of psyllium husk mixed into a juice (which you drink immediately) will jump start fibre intake. If followed by a cup of tea or coffee and a normal breakfast. Or sprinkle it over some fruit with it's juice. (again just a small amount - it absorbs water/fluid and quadruples in size)

To test it out - put one teaspoon in a glass of water, stir gently a few times and wait a few minutes. Then put the teaspoon back in and see the consistency! So less is better for drinking. But if you are making bread out of it... follow the recipe.

So essentially - it is tasteless except when you put too much in. But that would happen with anything you are using to adopt another flavour.

Sounds like you are on the right track with switching to wholemeal foods. I'm glad your husband is asking for those types of foods.

If something isn't available in my supermarket I ask the supervisor's if they can get it in. Generally they can or I can go to a nearby city and get it there.

There is just one other rule of thumb that may help you get more fiber. The more whole food is - the better and healthier it will be.

So generally the less steps the food took (in terms of processing) before it gets eaten the better it will be.

You are on the right path @Never_falter2 . :)

 

[Never_falter2]

Oh @Neverthesame :laugh:

@Never_falter2 you can sprinkle (if they have it there) things like Flax seeds, or roast them wheat germ ground in banana and it tastes like peanut butter

That’s sounds great.

Give him credit to read his body, and what he can tolerate, too. Our bodies are smart and have their reasons, even if it takes Science a long time to catch up and realize why. :hug:

I am not sure if I understand what you say, could you explain?

 

[Never_falter2]

@blackemerald1 I think I got you wrong because I understood that there was a new liquid from fiber that could be sprinkled over things. I know psyllium husk and know where to buy it. Sorry, I think there was a misunderstanding ?.

I live in a rural neighbourhood and typically drive to a small city for shopping, did again today and had a hard time finding whole grain variants of sweet things such as pastries... but I was in a hurry.

Thank you so much for your info again. I did some research about fiber today and I was shocked out what I found out. I found out the recommend 40 mg of fibers for a grown up man. I think you mentioned it too... and I looked up the things I remembered vet has eaten lately and found out he has been having between 10 and 15 of fibers per day.
I get between 20 and 25 mg per day by the way, also less then optimal.

I also found out that some of the things I had given to vet because I hoped they would be good for him had not nearly as much fiber as I thought. Talking about peeled cucumbers and peeled apples here. Cucumbers have very little fiber (most of which is in the outer layer) and the same is to a lesser degree true for apples.

I now do understand why the medical doctor told vet that his nutrition would also put him at risk for diabetes. I thought I was because it made him gain weight/had to much sugar but I learned that you need fiber as a protection for diabetes.

Vet has some trouble eating but actually right now he is adamant to get enough fiber because he is really unhappy with how much being constipated sucked lately and I think he is a bit frightened.

I have a very stupid question btw. Those things that have zero fiber such as meat... does eating them still help or do they have a negative effect or doesn’t it matter?

 

[Sideways]

Vet has some trouble eating but actually right now he is adamant to get enough fiber because he is really unhappy

Oats, bread, noodles, fruit juice, tacos, meat...this is all great.

But seriously, if he wants a healthy gut? If he’s at risk for diabetes? He’s gonna have to start eating vegetables. Every day.

No way round that.

 

[Never_falter2]

I cook vegetables everyday. That’s pretty normal in our culture.... but that doesn’t mean he eat them everyday. The kids and me eat them. When he is feeling fine he does eat them too... when he is not feeling like eating he does funny things with them on his plate. I often cook meat mixed with veggies. He eat the meat and makes a little pile of the veggies.??A horrible example for the kids.
But he says he is trying to eat but just sometimes feels like he cannot eat.

I often pre-cook food for him to heat in the microwave but he doesn’t do it. Instead he grabs a pack of nachos. He only eats “real food“ if you place it right in front of him.

If I am not there for a day I need to make him notes like “1 pm it‘s time to eat. Also think of the salat. Salat is in the fridge“ or he will just live on candybars.
Sometimes I feel like mothering an idiot child... but he is a smart man. I am not sure what it is.

I mentioned I used to give him peeled apples and cucumbers and now found out they are not nearly as healthful as I thought. There is a reason I peeled them and it is not that I enjoy peeling things so much but it is that he says he cannot get it down when it isn’t peeled.

 

[Sideways]

I am not sure what it is.

Safety behaviours. Well, that’s what I call them.

You get a narrative in your head of things that make life work for you. Things you can rely on to get you through the day. Things that feel safe.

Sometimes it works a treat. The safety behaviour is helpful. Like “a warm bath before bed makes me feel like the world is back under control”. So you get obsessive about that pre-bed bath. So much so that trying anything else? Is anxiety-provoking and exhausting.

Sometimes (read: a lot of the time!), those things either make no real difference. Needing to sleep on a particular side of the bed? Super duper common one. Actually the side of the bed doesn’t make a difference - it’s just the juju in your head telling you that it’s absolutely critical.

Then there’s safety behaviours that are actually unhelpful. Sometimes they become a form of self harm. Not always. But diet is a common one.

I lived on breakfast cereal for 6 months straight. Knew it had zero nutritional value. Didn’t care. That was just how I functioned. Could have physically cooked something else. Mentally though? Not a chance.

I didn’t confront that head on until I developed peripheral neuropathy (neuropathic pain) in my feet, hands and then legs, and that progressed to where I couldn’t walk. At that point? Okay, I was ready to bring on some different foods.

But I had to therapy the shit outta that to make it work. My therapy team prioritised it, followed every step with me, even stuck me in hospital to get the diet change kick-started. I used to work as a lawyer, but changing that diet? I was getting helped with my shopping list, with actual shopping, with nutritional supplements I needed...and I had to fix my mind on “this habit’s got to change for good”. And that had to be my mindset all day, every day, for weeks.

I still struggle with that. But actually, I have to suck it up and tell you that the physical health issues really weren’t worth it, it wasn’t better or easier (as I’d been telling myself). And yes, my physical and mental health both improved a shittonne from that hard work.

It’s a lifestyle change, and for me? It had to be all in, or nothing. It required discipline, clear rules and guidelines - no more cereal in the house, period, and it had to become my routine.

The nausea shit? Passes. Your stomach gets used to a complete diet reboot after a few weeks. But it’s like breaking any addiction. You gotta decide you really want it, you need it, and you’re ready for it, all in.

Only he can make that decision. And that’s gonna require either specialist research, or a nutrition program developed for him. In the meantime? Do what you can, radically accept the rest. He can change if and when he wants, but all you can do is be ready if and when that happens.

 

[blackemerald1]

Hey @Never_falter2 - no worries. I'm pleased you know what I was talking about with the psyllium husk. Yes it's always complicated if the shops do not stock things you need. I've lived many hours from a supermarket at times and it could all really trip my trolley if the things I needed were not available because I had no fall back plan.

Thank you for describing what you went through @Sideways - I didn't know about these behaviours, or at least the name of them. But geese I have a few of them happening right now.. aaargh!

I'm incredibly rigid about what I will and won't eat & drink...and I'm no fun at all. I lean toward being over-the-top in favour of anything deemed to be healthy. But I research the sh*t out of stuff and make commitments to whatever I then decide is ok/true. Or, I try it and see.

I am pretty much scared of eating outside of my home. It's not a phobia but it may as well be. I find the 'social' part of eating really difficult to handle. And idk why... back to the psych., for that one..

@Never_falter2 - meat is an excellent source for nutrition. It is a 'complete' Protein - meaning it has enough of each of the nine (9) essential amino acids humans require. We need Protein for our cells to stay healthy. Well it's a lot more complicated than that but that will do. We must have it.

Animal meats, dairy foods, eggs, quinoa and a few other things are considered to be complete Proteins.

But you can also eat a variety of other foods that are 'incomplete' Proteins in sufficient quantities and they will add up to a complete Protein if you know what food has what. But, it's a lot harder doing it that way. However many vegans, vegetarians etc., manage quite well...

So yeah meat is a very nutritious source of lots of things aside from Protein for your man, yourself (and family). ** But avoid eating animal fat! Eat lean meats and use Olive oil..

Another way to reduce constipation and optimise health is to reduce complex carbohydrates. I really don't believe it's necessary to eliminate them altogether like some ppl do. That's way too difficult and probably quite unnecessary. If you are going to eat carbs make them whole grains, whole meal, unprocessed, unsweetened etc., Read labels...

Avoiding the addition of refined sugar to things you eat will also help him step right away from pre-diabetic syndrome. As will not drinking sugary drinks, reducing alcohol and doing a dedicated exercise regime of about 30 mins a day. That's not work or house-work!

Be mindful of portion sizes when reading labels and dishing up food too. But again, gradually reduce these till they are the right portions size for each person in the family.

I think if you could, I'd encourage you and your man to see a qualified Nutritionist. It's all about balance and I used to feed a whole family of big eaters so I understand that making changes takes a lot of co-operation, some wiley skills from you and making changes quietly.

There is no point going to the cupboards and throwing out all of the cupcakes or pastries or whatever. Eat your way through them instead and either don't replace them or replace them with healthy versions.. If your family was like my family - they'd rummage through the cupboard before trying to coerce me into going to the shops. I'd say, eat what's in the cupboard/fridge first... great delaying tactic btw. They will eat food that is easily acquired if that's the only option. They won't allow themselves to starve believe me! lol

Regarding apples, fruit, vegies... wash and leave the skins on... that's fiber. Every bit counts. :)

Also, going hungry isn't pleasant and most probably will lead to binging on unhealthy foods. So, don't go the hunger route.

:hug:

 

[Sideways]

But I research the sh*t out of stuff and make commitments to whatever I then decide is ok/true.

I’ve been banned from reading the nutrition panels on food packaging when I’m at my parents place. My mum drew the line when I started talking about all the different ways she was exceeding her WHO recommended daily sugar limit on her “sugarfree” products !!!

 

[blackemerald1]

I’ve been banned from reading the nutrition panels on food packaging when I’m at my parents place.

^ Oh poor you Sideways... they don't like hearing this at all? :hilarious: :) :giggle: :roflmao:

I have to keep my research secret bc nobody else wants to know either :confused: :)

 

[DharmaGirl]

There is a theme here that he is incapable of taking care of himself. If he won't eat veggies he will suffer the consequences of not eating them. It is not your responsibility to make sure he takes care of his needs. I know you love him, and want the best for him, but perhaps he should be in charge of what he eats. He can make menus and select what he wants to eat and make a list. This is HIS problem. I have chronic constipation, and I do what I perceive to be the right thing. No one else does. If someone else cooks, and there aren't enough veggies, I just add them or snack on them. Maybe if you back off, and let him take care of himself, he will do what he needs to do. Maybe he won't, but you shouldn't have to shoulder the burden.

 

[Tinyflame]

Totally agree with @DharmaGirl above. This is a grown man. And a parent-child dynamic in a marriage is decidedly unsexy, too. :( You mean very very well but he is an adult man.

I am not sure if I understand what you say, could you explain?

If I eat an apple or bran muffin I feel like I could die (seriously). And I'm allergic to bran, oats, and most components of 'multi-grains'. I'm also allergic to nickel and metals wherein the soil component affects whether I can eat veggies like broccoli (and broccoli was my favorite. I love veggies. :( )

Without a doctor's diagnosis one doesn't know if the constipation is related to colitis, crohn's, IBS, collagen issues, sinctures (narrowing of parts of the intestine), diverticulosis, or something else. All of these can have different dietary recommendations. With collagen issues I need high fat- something never recommended.

psyllium

^^ This is the ingredient in Benefibre and such products, tasteless in those and dissolved in water, bulk up stool and are the safest. But for some only compound the problem.
Things can be done like eating hot and cold liquids together (eg cold water and hot soup), and drinking water during. meals. Reducing salt intake.

. Those things that have zero fiber such as meat... does eating them still help or do they have a negative effect or doesn’t it matter?

Yes ideally a balanced diet is necessary, protein (animal or plant) is critically important, again more so for some than others.

If you have healthy things there, he may come to enjoy them.

I find a strict liquid diet is all I can manage, at times.

 

[Never_falter2]

This is HIS problem. I have chronic constipation, and I do what I perceive to be the right thing. No one else does. If someone else cooks, and there aren't enough veggies, I just add them or snack on them. Maybe if you back off, and let him take care of himself, he will do what he needs to do. Maybe he won't, but you shouldn't have to shoulder the burden.

My husband works a lot. He leaves the house early in the morning and comes back late in the evening... and of course he doesn’t cook then. He eats what is placed in front of him (or if I am not there, tucking kids into bed or busy grabs some nachos or popcorn). He is also not involved in meals planning. Far to busy and not enough time on his hands.
I guess there is several types of chronic constipation and my guy unfortunately has a severe type which has a negative impact on his quality of life sometimes and of course it sucks for the spouse to see that her hubbies quality of life is not as good as it could be.

I think I do mother him sometimes a bit... and actually I did talk with him about eating healthy... but now it is him who wants to change his diet and we prayed for it. I mean I want it to but he wants it too.