General Constipation, having to spend lots of time in the bathroom

[Never_falter2]

Thanks so much @Sideways. I think my guy has some trouble with eating too. I think it is difficult for him to eat alone... I also think like blackemerald he doesn’t like to eat while in a crowd. I think what he likes is eating in the company of his loved ones... and he likes his food made for him, put on a plate for him... and if this doesn’t happy he doesn’t it.

Also sometimes it is difficult for him to eat anything at all because he has loss of appetite sometimes.

 

[Never_falter2]

I did not get done mich today but learned so much about fiber. For example I learned that a mixed salat with corn has only 2,5 gs of fiber but five slices of whole grain bread have 20gs of fiber.

I used to “feed him salat“ when he was feeling very constipated and wondered why one single salat did not work as well as we hoped it did. Now I realize why.

I studied the packages of all the things in the house. I used to scold vet for eating peanut butter right from the jar. Now I realize that it actually has much fiber.

 

[blackemerald1]

@Never_falter2 - I understand the division of roles in your family. I see nothing wrong with that arrangement at all. I don't think that is the issue here and really it's a bit of red-herring.

Generally the task of cooking falls to one or the other in a relationship and in this one it seems to be @Never_falter2. I'm not saying that's right or wrong it is simply the dynamic that currently exists in this relationship.

When someone we love is sick or unwell it is only natural that we want to assist. Well, at least the OP does. Maybe it got really bad before he started to listen or maybe common sense kicked in for him. It doesn't matter because now he is wanting to change and improve so I think that is the biggest and most fundamental part of achieving anything...including the issue here... chronic constipation and diet.

As they say, 'you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink'.

Implementing new foods or alternatives to foods, that may or are known to cause problems, will be easier because he sees the need. So that mountain has been climbed.

Without a doctor's diagnosis one doesn't know if the constipation is related to

Agreed.
So the OP informed...

I made him go to a doctor since my first whiny post. He does not have cancer or anything bad, but he learned that his diet it lousy... which sort of offended him and he doesn’t want to go there again.

I think he actually understandably diet is lousy. He is not an idiot. I don’t actually know what it is. Is is difficult for him to eat healthful an no, he doesn’t want to discuss it with anybody.

Having ruled out a medical condition ,Never_falter2 and now her husband, are starting to assess their diet. I agree with you @Junebug I don't think that's got a lot of sexiness about it. lol

However....

It's a marital/family issue affecting all members of that union. And it makes a lot of sense to work on the difficult, unsexy stuff in a relationship every now and then... This is one of them. Just as a couple/family have to discuss and implement financial changes to their lifestyle from time to time. That's not sexy either but it's really good for the relationship. There are heaps of examples...

So I think it's a good thing that Never_falter whined her husband into the doctor's office where he got told something he didn't want to hear but was the truth (and that she had been trying to tell him for a while) - because now that's all resolved in favour of a better diet for the whole family,.

Now @Never_falter2 is looking into the research and mechanics of making dietary change and that's where she's discovering the truth behind packaging, labeling and nutrition. That's got to be good for @Never_falter2 , her husband and their entire family too.

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh yes @blackemerald1 I understand. I am glad to hear of the good medical news, although not to scare but tbh my dad's colon cancer went undetected by colonoscopy as it was the cecum and folded over on itself out of view. And similarly, for example, the collagen issue can only be determined definitively by genetic analysis.

Unsexy was a poor choice of wording, I meant more deleterious to inspiring his confidence in himself, and his capacity to do what he needs, and the equality and perspective of each other as capable adults and spouses to and for one another (something in JMHO thar can already cause stress when one has ptsd).

Unfortunately, too, I'm often told I 'think like a man', and was raised as such. That would drive me further away. But Never_Falter knows her H best, and she said he is wanting to do it. So everyone gains, and I wish only the best. Often people know what needs to be done, but not the means of 'how'. I apologize if it sounded insensitive. Carry on with your good discussion. :)

 

[TruthSeeker]

@Hojay: I made him go to a doctor since my first whiny post. He does not have cancer or anything bad, but he learned that his diet it lousy... which sort of offended him and he doesn’t want to go there again.

I think he actually understandably diet is lousy. He is not an idiot. I don’t actually know what it is. Is is difficult for him to eat healthful an no, he doesn’t want to discuss it with anybody.

I do not want to hurt his feelings. I want him to feel happy around me so I stopped saying the same things over and over again. Maybe wrong? I am not sure.

@grit Yes, I do think stress plays a big role in this. Besides his ptsd he also has a stressful job and he doesn‘t use the lavatories at his work for this, but comes home late at evening.
I often heard they say it is wrong to strain and constipation sufferers should learn to relax their muscles... and that confuses me. Isn’t constipation defined by having to strain with at least 25% of bowel movements (among other things)? However he is actually staring very hard in nearly 100 percent of cases and says he needs to strain as hard and much to make any progress at all. Like I said I am worried he needs to strain (sound like a weightlifter) so hard and much. I really would like him to discuss this with a doctor.

We already do have a step to place the feet higher, we already discovered warmth helps. So wealready know there are things that help but still it often is very bad.

Daily exercise and a Miralax daily works for me. Exercise is a critical piece. So is eating 25g per day fiber-

 

[Gs172003]

@blackemerald1 A stupid question because I tried to learn a lot about constipation but I am not a doctor: what is soluble fiber and how is it different from other fiber?

How is that fiber you can sprinkle over the food called?

A while ago Vet found a Müsli he really liked with oat flakes, apple chips, strawberry chips and the like... ate much of it (with Full fat milk) for a few days... and ended up even more constipated. We do not really know why. The milk? Allergic to oats or apples or strawberries?

He thinks milk could be a problem for him because sometimes he is just a bit constipated and sometimes it is very bad and he has no idea what he did wrong. He thought it may be milk and chocolate... and stress.

He thinks juice makes it better. Just asking if anybody heard of that because I never heard of that before.

However he drinks a lot of milk so far and likes milk shakes, yoghurts and so on... and now thinks of replacing milk with almond milk just to see what happened. Of course it does not have the same nutritional value but if it really helps he will search for another alternative. He just does this to find out if milk is the cause.

Vet knows about fiber... but it is difficult for him to eat right. I think it has to do with adrenaline. I think @Friday had a picture that described it... and this is also what his doctor did not understand when vet tried to explain... and vet is a little silly instead of trying to explain better he just decided to be offended and to to fall silent and now dies not want to go there anymore.
If you cannot eat well I try to make him smoothies.

We already know that warm water helps.

Thank you very much for your advice.

Can you try yogurt ( make sure it has love cultures) mixed with musli as a snack?

 

[Never_falter2]

Actually vet has trouble eating again. Eating halfway healthy now but he has trouble to get things down and is eating just because of self discipline so to speak. ?

 

[Never_falter2]

Actually vet has trouble eating again. Eating halfway healthy now but he has trouble to get things down and is eating just because of self discipline so to speak. ?

Just wanted to make that clear here because @Sideways asked on another thread... and I see this can be misunderstood and make people worry. His constipation is already better... and he often has trouble eating. So this is not what gave him trouble eating.

 

[Never_falter2]

Vet got much better this evening and he ate a lot.

 

[Lucycat]

I have had troubles with constipation for as long back as I can remember.

I eat tons of fibre and veggies and my poo is not hard, it is just difficult to push out. So I don't need extra fibre, but I do drink loads of tap water to ensure my fibre stays soft. If you take 'dry' fibre and no fluid, ultimately you are trying to pass a dry weetabix!

For the past 10 years I have taken Senna tablets most days, and have a result most days. ( this is when I was diagnosed with PTSD and had 3 months off work )

Before that, I only took Senna at weekends so as to be sure I did not need the toilet at work. This meant my bowel grew big enough to accommodate a whole week of waste before giving me the feeling I needed to go, so was a recurrent problem. This was an unfortunate result of my own psychological issues combined with shift work.

Before I retired, I became an expert in children's health, especially constipation and soiling. It felt a bit odd, that I was preaching to children, what I had not resolved for myself, but at the same time was glad of the opportunity to give them support before they got as bad as me.

 

[Never_falter2]

? Ouch But I am glad you are feeling better now.

It felt a bit odd, that I was preaching to children, what I had not resolved for myself, but at the same time was glad of the opportunity to give them support before they got as bad as me.

May I as what tipps it was you gave to the children?

 

[Lucycat]

May I as what tipps it was you gave to the children?

Absolute basics that I was never taught;

• NEVER ignore the 'call to stool' - so always go to the toilet when your body tells you to - even if it means using the smelly school toilets!
• Take time and do not rush ( even when other family members are trying to rush you)
• Aim to sit on the toilet 20 minutes after every meal, for just a few minutes - certainly no more than five if nothing is happening- until a routine is established (Even when you don't feel like you need to go)
• Remember that eating food activates the bowel (AKA The Poo Tube) - so anticipate using the toilet about 20 minutes after breakfast ( preferred time so they do not need those school toilets...). This may mean getting up earlier , and eating a breakfast even when you don't feel like it.
• Take any prescribed medications regularly. For 'softeners' these can take up to 3 days to have an effect so do not chop and change dose more often than every 3 days. For medications that are designed to push (such as picosulfate or senna) note the time of action FOR YOUR BODY - so that you can plan. Eg if it takes 12 to work, then take you medication at 7pm to poo at 7am. If you personally find it takes 15 hours then take it at 4pm when you get in from school ( Many meds say "take at bedtime" - but then may work in the middle of the school day, and may be unhelpful to a child)
• Eat plenty of fruit and veg and about 5-7 decent sized drinks of water each day.
• Remember that EVERYONE has to poo, so nobody should be embarrassed. [Some kids thought only children Poo, as they never were aware of their parents doing it. Thus holding it in, in their opinion was adult behaviour!]

Mostly the children came to me with soiling issues, and the parents blamed their "lazy" children. Often the children were on their own, with minimal parental support or understanding to turn this around. Sort out the constipation, and the soiling resolves, but it can be a long process. A child that came to me soiling every day, and then the next month was down to one soiling accident in 10 days and the parents would be like - "see its still not helping", rather than the praise and encouragement the child deserved. I never met one child who would soil on purpose - despite what the parents thought.

Many children (myself included) have learned to override the feelings of needing the toilet, and the bigger the bowel gets, the more poo it needs in it to give you that feeling that you need to go. Hence you only get the feeling when the poo inside is so massive it is almost impossible to push out. There is a whole re-training process that can be needed to encourage the bowel to return to its normal size and shape and function effectively again. Its a bit like a balloon, that you have blown up and then let the air out. It is not the same shape and goes floppy. By not over stretching the bowel any more it will gradually return to shape.