Coping With Different Types Of Flashbacks And Body Memories?

[Leisel]

I get a lot more body memories than visual flashbacks because most of my trauma happened before I can remember, but today I got a visual flashback to a different event and emotionally reacted very differently. When I get a body memory, sometimes it makes me cry right then, or I will start shaking or something else.
But today I was with a friend and she knocked over some books and the sound triggered this memory I guess and all of a sudden I thought I was back with my stepdad on the night he kicked me out, and I could see him in front of me, and it was at a point where he knocked over a bunch of textbooks so they would fall on me. And it was less than a second but it was weird for me because almost all of my nightmares, body memories, etc. are from my early childhood so it was weird and different. Also, since those don't have a visual component, I usually have some sort of connection to where I really am. Like, I will feel physically like the abuse is happening, or I will be just as afraid, but I can see that it's not. This was different. And I didn't think that experience was "traumatic enough" to have a flashback to, you know? Idk.

So, basically, the visual aspect is new to me, and I feel like it's set me back to square one on trying to figure out how to cope.

It is also different because this abuser (my stepdad) is still a part of my life, while my previous abuser is not.

So I am wondering what you do in response to various kinds of reexperiencing. Is there a way to ground yourself when you are having a full flashback with all of your senses? What about after? Because I didn't react earlier today. Once I realized I could see again and knew where I was, I didn't cry or react at all visibly. And it was too fast for anyone to notice.
But then tonight I was in an uber on the way home and my friend texted that she cared how I was and I freaking started crying right in the uber lol and when I got here I sat on the floor and freaking sobbed and like..it's the after bit that was worse because the flashback ended but here I am still feeling freaking awful and scared and alone.
Every PTSD symptom I have been experiencing has been adding up and I am so tired all the time and I only have the energy to maintain like three friendships and honestly those feel flimsy sometimes. I feel so sad and alone.
So what can I do? What do you do?

 

[Mandie]

I get a lot more body memories than visual flashbacks because most of my trauma happened before I can re...

Hi Leisel! I can so relate to the uncontrollable crying, and also all the bad feelings that follow a trigger/flashback. It happened to me earlier this evening - there was a visual in a movie that triggered me. Now I am awake all night; that is just how it goes for me. I am new here. Mandie

 

[Shortie]

Hi,

I can relate somewhat.

A phrase my wife can say or someone else will throw me back to an abusive event, a song can too or a perfume smell ect.

Xx

 

[Sweet_E]

It sounds like you needed the crying for the release. I think it was positive to let it out. Sucks that it happened in the uber. I hated when I needed to cry at work. Usually I was able to escape to the bathroom or something.

I haven't developed a good strategy for dealing with flashbacks in public yet. Usually the bad ones happen at home. Otherwise, if I'm at work or in public, I disassociate.

For the intense ones at home, I do any or all of the following:

• Do something that makes me feel protected like wrap myself tightly in a thick, heavy blanket or go into a yoga pose that makes me feel safe.
• Let myself cry if I need to, accept myself and have self-compassion.
• If I am able to, observe what is happening to me with curiousity and acceptance, using it as a learning experience.
• Diffuse relaxing essential oils.
• Breathing exercises like alternate nostril breathing.
• If I have a lot of adrenaline/cortisol do something active like cleaning or baking.

When I was working, I would focus on managing the disassociation. Before I faced a challenging task, I would ground myself and check in with myself as to how I was feeling in my body, my emotions, what I observed with all of my senses. I would repeat my mantra for doing the triggering work task which was, "This is the opportunity I've been looking for" because I chose to view the triggering events as learning experiences. I would allow myself to go in and out of disassociation without judgement. If something triggered me, I'd take a short break and write down what happened in a journal and maybe either go for a walk, or hide myself in the bathroom and play candy crush on my phone - ha ha!

I think you could incorporate some of this into public situations. You could carry a personal essential oil diffuser with you. They even have diffuser necklaces. You could keep a stash of helpful things in your purse like essential oils, a stress ball, a journal and pen, etc.

One time I had a flashback while taking a walk and I took some ice out of my drink and held it in my hand to bring me back to the present.

You could also do a subtle form of tapping or EFT using just your hands.

You could have a piece of jewelry that you wear that you associate with a mantra or positive feeling. Rub the jewelry when you need to feel secure.

I hope something here is helpful. Maybe we can brainstorm other things you can do?

 

[Larry123]

I get flashbacks in dreams.. If I've got have flashbacks that's when I'd rather go through it instead of out in public

 

[Gadgie]

I know what you mean, my nightmares are memories of past events that I've actually gone though, so I can imagine what it's like for you.

I've actually forced myself to go out, and over the last few months have come a long way, I'm improving with time, and I always try to find one positive thing out of every day, good luck?