Cousin Thinks T Is Causing All Of My Issues

[Angelwings]

My cousin said my T is causing all of my problems. She thinks that if I get away from my therapist I won't have any symptoms and there will be nothing wrong with me. If only she knew how my T has kept me alive and been the only person in my life who has never left me, no matter what I have done. I don't know what to say to my cousin, if I should say anything at all...

 

[outlawstar555]

I have a friend that says similiar things... It can be disheartening. I actually got sick of him recently and broke contact, but thats not the point. He had also said that my "problems" are a creation of my Dr.'s... I was a "guinea pig" and needed to not trust Dr.s. Oh and how if I stopped all treatment (therapy, medication) that I would turn out better....I explained to him that more likely I'd go off the rails and these people have helped me in more ways than he has since my diagnosis. Dude always compared his stresses and things that make him depressed to being like my condition... Had to tell him, "No, not quite the same..."

 

[outlawstar555]

What I'm trying to say though, is that if you tell your cousin how you feel about what they're saying. Try to be as non-accusatory as possible. Stick to your feelings and that you've got a real diagnosed condition by a legit Dr. Is your cousin a Dr.? In my opinion that is a question I'd pose if it were me. i.e. "coz, you're not a dr...."

 

[Jane.l]

I have had this from several people too and feel very much the same way about my T as you have described. So it's very emotive to have someone say that to me but I try to keep calm and say something like - 'thanks for your concern but I am getting the professional help I need ' and leave it at that .

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Only in my case it was true.... Bad therapist!

Honestly, these people will never fully understand. They're in the dark and will never see the light so to speak unless placed in a similar situation.

If I were you I'd stop discussing my issues with my cousin. Then again, I hate having to defend myself. People may view me as a coward for not speaking my mind and standing up for my position, but they don't understand. I need to choose my battles wisely as any battle stresses me more than the average person. And, as I get older I realize that many battles simply aren't worth it.

 

[DMerish]

1,000 likes for Solar's post. It's hard enough finding a few friends that understand, but having family that doesn't understand yet freely give their opinions of what you should do and how you should feel because they love you and only want the best for you, errrrgh! Only my children know I have PTSD.

 

[anonymous]

Well, to a point I think your cousin might be right. You did mention in another thread how your therapist lets you hang around her office all day. Not healthy and just adding to your problems IMHO.

But, that aside, I wouldn't share with your cousin. Your therapist can be helping you and sometimes it's hard to explain but the bottom line comes down to you not your cousin.

 

[Abstract]

Anonymous has a point if this is the case. It sounds like you are saying that the in larger context she has helped you a lot though. That is a separate issue to whether you will magically be OK if you stop treatment!

My sister is a registered psychologist even though she does not practice and she has said very similar things to me. The most I shared was very vaguely that I was getting treatment again for a r*pe (after she was repeatedly nagging me to tell her how I was) and she looked really irritated and snapped at me that what I needed was to stop treatment and stop reading things. Very helpful as I struggle with thinking that myself!

I think they often don't like the discomfort they feel that things aren't right with us and have the impulse to stamp it out by stopping us having treatment. Magically thinking it will all go away and they won't have to feel the way they do.

 

[elisabeth]

Until they walk in our shoes most people won't understand.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is your therapist setting boundaries yet? I mean with the hanging around her office all day thing. Is she teaching you coping skills?

 

[Leah123]

One thing about therapy in general: doing better often means things look worse, especially for a while at the beginning. That could be your cousin's cause for concern. Therapy gives us a safe space to reevaluate how difficult events/issues/people have impacted us, and as we open up to seeing the impact, we experience difficult emotions that can leave us acting out some, seeming upset more than usual, and that can certainly look problematic to family and friends.

Therapy though, is cleaning the infection from a wound: yes, it's messy!!! Disturbing even.

But getting the ugly stuff out lets the beautiful stuff in, and with good therapy, you and your cousin will see that process occur.

 

[Petchen]

Sometimes trying to make a friend of a relative is just futile.

I think they often don't like the discomfort they feel that things aren't right with us and have the impulse to stamp it out by stopping us having treatment. Magically thinking it will all go away and they won't have to feel the way they do.