Sufferer Cptsd, cult, childhood sexual, physical, emotional abuse

[Kamalic]

Hello,
Im Kamalic, in my twenties and looking for support.

I have been diagnosed by licensed Dr.s of the following ;
cptsd, chronic neurological lyme disease, fibromyalgia, chronic pain syndrome, seizures, stage 3 endometriosis, tachycardia, depression, anxiety, with severe/violent dissociation episodes.

I see a LMFT, MD, DO, OBGYN, LPCC, GI, specialist, etc.

I was raised in a religious group from birth. Rape, beatings, and emotional abuse being apart of my daily life starting around age 5 years old. The abuse coming from within my home by multiple family members/genders and also members of the church, until i was 19 years old.

With the help of an amazing friend i escaped and hid from the group. I changed ny name and became apart of a state program to keep my identity completely out of state/local records after being stalked by former sexual abusers (non family) to the new town i moved to because i reported them to the police. I have since moved to an entirely different county over 7 hours away.

I have now been out for 6 years. Wow.

I am eco friendly, vegan, gluten free, organic, sugar free, dye free, fried food free, caffeine free, etc. I am all about being natural as possible and utilizing my surroundings, staying grounded and living a holistic lifestyle.

Looking for support emotionally and also advice on managing cptsd. I feel like im going f×××ing insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So any advice, support, love or encouragement is GREATLY APPRECIATED!

I didnt really know about ptsd or cptsd until i was diagnosed so i am just entering the world and all it means, so sending me links, or books, blogs, etc of how to cope or deal or what to know about cptsd would be amazing and greatly appreciated.

**Sending you all love**

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome

Though I am from a slavic country (read: "Vegan, what is that, some kind of vegetable?") so I can't say anything on lifestyle, I'm glad you are here, since it just might help you.

There are quite a few around here going more natural ways, and a few with similar stories to yours, so look around, and make yourself at home.
Once again, welcome :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :hug:

 

[ladee]

Welcome, glad you found us, and you will get many answers to questions , partly from reading around the forum, the different threads that interest you and the main page has great articles... we are all here to heal and help , there are quite a few here that are vegan and have the same lifestyle, and you will run across each other eventually.. Many people here, at different stages of healing, from all over the world...

Maybe just read around for a little while, get to know how this works, and know that you are very welcome .... and yes, feeling insane is part of this... any of us, on any given day, will post something similar... and people show us the way out of the tunnel, encourage us to do things, and really hear us... very glad you are here... and love and hugs back to you !!!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Welcome! I am also an ex cult survivor from the age of 7. Lots of things you wrote are familuar. Also a friend that got me out at 19. Sadly, it was my step father & mother so there was no escaping and changing my name. I didn't report them and told no one for 10 yrs and then still no one but my therapist until I joined here. My family split and quickly took my mom's "side", though they knew no details. As things "leaked" out of me to my dad and he ran his big mouth my family quickly became insane leaving me 100% alone. No family, no friends, no one but me and my service dog in training. I started to train him Mid Nov 2016 and my world began to change and open up. I can now shop and do all sorts of things I couldn't do alone before. I have been in therapy, every week, for 8 years.

I am also a sufferer of chronic pain. I fell 3 stories in March 2009 and literally broke my back. I now have a Medtronics drug infusion pump pumping free base morphine, Marcain, and Clonidine directly into my spinal cord just to allow me to stand and take some steps (hate to say walk as I don't do that well) but my service dog in training is helping me there too. I'm 36 and my body thinks I am 80. Also have physical damage from the cult.

Anyway, enough about me. We are a very supportive, and can be a challeging, group but challenge is good. Anyway, welcome!

 

[Deleted member 8714]

Hi @Kamalic and welcome to the forum.

I thought I had C-PTSD yet I have not been diagnosed with it. I do have PTSD and DID. I found articles by Pete Walker, M.A. on C-PTSD were helpful. I reread the one called Grieving and Complex PTSD many times when I suffered losses in my life. Have you ever read anything by him?

 

[Rani G2]

Welcome Kamalic! You will find the support you need here..
I have been diagnosed with CPTSD due to chronic childhood abuse/ sexual abuse.