Sufferer Does it ever get better?? suicide attempt after physical, emotional, and sexual abuse

[JustJeri2215]

@Justmehere

The way I see it we both have very terrible and very difficult problems. As long as we are both seeking help and striving to help each other rather than hurt each other I believe we may be able to move past this. It has been frustrating having nightmares about the person he was and waking up to someone who is offering to stay home from work just to provide comfort and support. The trust and sense of safety are slowly being restored day by day. I won't lie and say it hasn't been difficult being married to one of my main triggers. My T recommended making a list of the changes he has made so when I have an episode I have something to remind me that "who he was isn't who he is" (her words. I was just so hopeful to have a diagnosis because I thought it meant the hard part was over.

 

[ladee]

I know you are disappointed that things aren't better. But the same holds true with divorce... the hurt , anger and betrayal are still there after the papers are signed... we invest our self in our relationships, and when those investments are battered and bruised and invalidated, it still is going to take time to sort it out.... to heal.
Just glad you found us.... you are not alone. So many of us completely understand what you are feeling and going thru. Gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[WillyKat]

I once said in group therapy that I didn't think my story compared to that of others. One of the other group members immediately said: "it's not a contest." So I'm saying that to you. What hurts, hurts. It's not a helpful path for anyone to rate their experience against others. It don't matter.

You're in a tough spot. Given that your husband is getting treatment, that is certainly a positive sign. Is he making progress? These are all very difficult problems. Just a thought. Maybe you might be better off living apart for a time so that you can concentrate each on your own stuff.

Re: your main question. Does it get better? There's no doubt that it can be incredibly difficult. Many of us here just lack the words to describe it. But a lot of us have been in the place where we think nothing can ever get better and then...wham...it does. My advice is this: don't expect any change to happen fast. This is a journey of a thousand miles that you can't leap through. Sometimes you take a step. Sometimes you have to backtrack to find solid ground. Sometimes you have to crawl over cactus, naked. I would advise too not to expect a place where it's "over". (That question has been debated a lot on this forum.) Once you make some progress, there's another challenge in front of you.

Our culture teaches us that problems can be solved with a mighty blow, the press of a button. This isn't one of those things. One step at a time.

 

[EveHarrington]

Ahhh....sadly, no. Having a diagnosis means we can get on a better healing path, but at the point of having a diagnosis but not yet in trauma therapy pretty much means the hardest stuff is in front of you....at least in my way of thinking from what I've experienced and what I've seen in others who have decided to go down the road of processing their trauma. I don't say this to scare you, rather to let you know that there will likely be difficult times ahead.....this is completely normal in the context of ptsd healing.

 

[JustJeri2215]

@WillyKat You're very right. Pain is pain. The progress is a day to day thing some good days and some bad days. We have tried separating and it makes things so much more stressful. Ive learned so much more about PTSD since joining and I wish I had sooner. I can see now that it's going be a constant battle. I want control of my life again. I don't want to live in fear anymore. I'm just trying to figure out how to get there and it is indeed a very slow process.

 

[7n5corp]

Hi JustJeri2215,

I apologize that I did not read over all the responses but to answer some of your questions:

1) some can overcome complex post traumatic injury with specific types of therapy without the use of pharmaceuticals, drugs or alcohol.

2) it is extremely difficult to recover without removing the source of triggers, although not impossible. The problem lies in the fact that, while trying to recover, if you keep the door open to the underlying cause it will take longer for you to recover. Continuously being retriggered can lead to much more serious forms of CPTSi including depression, suicide ideation, isolation, etc. If your situation includes verbal or physical abuse it is better to remove yourself from the situation to preserve your own mental health.

As impossible and horrible as everything might seem right now just know that you can get better.